So, I've been doing really well so far without The Professional for the past few months, but now I feel like I could use her advice. TDH has been really busy lately with helping his brother finish his basement (he's buying his brother's house), work, booking shows so he can start playing music again, trying to get a band together, hanging out with friends and hanging out with me. All of this while living 45 minutes outside of town with his parents until he takes over his brother's house which won't be until the end of October (it was originally supposed to be the beginning of October.) I'm trying to not let the fact that we don't get to see each other as much as we used to get to me, but it is and I can't help it. We still see each other twice a week, but I guess I just got used to seeing him more often. When we're together, I don't feel insecure at all, but when it's Wednesday and I haven't seen him since Sunday, the "crazy" comes out and I start feeling insecure thinking that maybe he just doesn't care if he sees me as much or maybe he should be making more of an effort to spend time with me. Then I just wonder if I need to calm down because TDH is going crazy and not getting much sleep trying to balance everything in his life, so me bitching about not seeing him isn't going to help him. BUT, I don't think some reassurance from him would be asking too much, am I wrong? How do I go about asking for reassurance though? This has always been something that's been hard for me to do. This is definitely stressing me out. Ugh.
A little side note: I wish I could get back in to see The Professional, but unfortunately, she has been out sick with a Staph infection. I could see someone else, but that would mean starting over from square one with someone new, so I'm not sure if that's something I should do.
Showing posts with label Questions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Questions. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Planning
I know. I know I have been an awful blogger. All I can say is that I've been busy and after not writing for so long, the thought of trying to update everyone on everything feels so overwhelming!
So, I'm not going to do that, I'm just going to say that everything is still going very well in my life. TDH is still pretty fantastic. He's going through a little rough patch in his life right now and hopefully I'm being good at supporting him through it. He's going through that time in his life that I think we all go through at one point, where you feel like you are two people stuck in one body. Part of him wants to be the "rockstar" that he's always wanted to be and be out traveling the world, playing his music, meeting people from all walks of life. The other part of him wants to settle down, and in his words, "continue building a burgeoning relationship with a woman such as yourself," and start a family. I told him that how he's feeling is totally normal and that when it comes down to it, he just needs to find a way to meld the two together. He said he's scared he'll never be able to be completely happy. I reassured him again that it's totally normal to feel that way and that maybe a change of perspective is in order. Instead of focusing on all of the bad things in the world, he needs to focus on all of the good things and all of the good things he's been lucky enough to experience, all of the amazing places he's traveled and all of the experiences he's been able to share with his family. I used to be like TDH a lot, when it comes to his ambivalence about the world. I think that all changed when I had the brain tumor scare 2 years ago and realized that life is too short and I might as well focus on the good and make sure that I'm surrounded by things that make me happy. After we talked about all of this for a while, he said he had been scared to open up to me about all of this because I had told him about past relationships where the guy was totally insecure, so he didn't want to turn me away from him. I laughed and told him there was absolutely no need to worry and that if I thought he was anything like that guy, I would have been long gone! Also, I told him that I'm always here for him if he ever wants to talk.
TDH wants to plan a long weekend getaway to the beach with me, so that should be a lot of fun. We're working on that now and should hopefully have that planned within the next couple of days. I could definitely use a little vacation and a long weekend with just TDH would be awesome!!
This weekend was good - TDH and I went out for drinks on Friday night, Saturday evening, TDH took me to a work associate's house for a barbecue. Today, I hung out with Crazy Girl. She's going through a rough time herself - she's scared she's going to lose her job, so that's adding to her already usually high anxiety level. What sucks is that she doesn't deserve to lose her job, she hasn't done anything wrong, her boss (a woman) thinks she's "just too tall and too blonde" so she doesn't like her. It's totally ridiculous. So Crazy Girl is reporting this to HR along with a bunch of other totally inappropriate comments her boss has made in front of other people, including a comment that insinuates that Crazy Girl and I are in a lesbian relationship together. So Crazy Girl and I went out shopping for a new business suit for her and then out for burgers. Yum!
I'm still loving taking ballet again, it's so much fun and I get a great workout from it. Better than going to the gym!! Haven't been back to tap class yet, but I probably will this week, I didn't want to hurt the toe now that it's all healed up.
Anyways, that's all for me now! I'll try to be better about updating!
So, I'm not going to do that, I'm just going to say that everything is still going very well in my life. TDH is still pretty fantastic. He's going through a little rough patch in his life right now and hopefully I'm being good at supporting him through it. He's going through that time in his life that I think we all go through at one point, where you feel like you are two people stuck in one body. Part of him wants to be the "rockstar" that he's always wanted to be and be out traveling the world, playing his music, meeting people from all walks of life. The other part of him wants to settle down, and in his words, "continue building a burgeoning relationship with a woman such as yourself," and start a family. I told him that how he's feeling is totally normal and that when it comes down to it, he just needs to find a way to meld the two together. He said he's scared he'll never be able to be completely happy. I reassured him again that it's totally normal to feel that way and that maybe a change of perspective is in order. Instead of focusing on all of the bad things in the world, he needs to focus on all of the good things and all of the good things he's been lucky enough to experience, all of the amazing places he's traveled and all of the experiences he's been able to share with his family. I used to be like TDH a lot, when it comes to his ambivalence about the world. I think that all changed when I had the brain tumor scare 2 years ago and realized that life is too short and I might as well focus on the good and make sure that I'm surrounded by things that make me happy. After we talked about all of this for a while, he said he had been scared to open up to me about all of this because I had told him about past relationships where the guy was totally insecure, so he didn't want to turn me away from him. I laughed and told him there was absolutely no need to worry and that if I thought he was anything like that guy, I would have been long gone! Also, I told him that I'm always here for him if he ever wants to talk.
TDH wants to plan a long weekend getaway to the beach with me, so that should be a lot of fun. We're working on that now and should hopefully have that planned within the next couple of days. I could definitely use a little vacation and a long weekend with just TDH would be awesome!!
This weekend was good - TDH and I went out for drinks on Friday night, Saturday evening, TDH took me to a work associate's house for a barbecue. Today, I hung out with Crazy Girl. She's going through a rough time herself - she's scared she's going to lose her job, so that's adding to her already usually high anxiety level. What sucks is that she doesn't deserve to lose her job, she hasn't done anything wrong, her boss (a woman) thinks she's "just too tall and too blonde" so she doesn't like her. It's totally ridiculous. So Crazy Girl is reporting this to HR along with a bunch of other totally inappropriate comments her boss has made in front of other people, including a comment that insinuates that Crazy Girl and I are in a lesbian relationship together. So Crazy Girl and I went out shopping for a new business suit for her and then out for burgers. Yum!
I'm still loving taking ballet again, it's so much fun and I get a great workout from it. Better than going to the gym!! Haven't been back to tap class yet, but I probably will this week, I didn't want to hurt the toe now that it's all healed up.
Anyways, that's all for me now! I'll try to be better about updating!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Chocolate chip cookies, puppy dogs and rainbows...
I know it's been over a week since I last posted, but I've been busy reuniting with TDH! He was exhausted when he got back on Saturday, so he came over on Sunday and we spent all evening and night Sunday together until he had to go into work on Monday morning. I told him how happy I was that he is back, over and over again and he said he was too. Once, I was like, "YAY!" He responded with, "What?" I said, "I'm just really happy you're back!" He said, "I missed you too!" I guess it was pretty obvious that that was what I was meaning to say, but just couldn't get out. I guess some old habits die hard!
Tuesday evening, TDH came over after having drinks with his old roommate, he was a bit drunk, but he was wanting to have some fun in bed. Why is it that guys seem to forget that being drunk usually means having some troubles when it comes to sex? It doesn't bother me, but it only leads to them feeling embarrassed. The next morning, we woke up and TDH wanted us to cook a big breakfast - blueberry pancakes, bacon, english muffins, etc. So, we started cooking and when breakfast was ready, the beers from the night before caught up with him and he didn't feel well. I told him not to worry, that I didn't want him to eat just because I cooked. So I finished eating and we got back into bed and watched Back to the Future Part 3, while TDH recovered from his night of fun. It's so nice that we're both in sales and can go into work whenever we want! He left at around 1pm and I went off to work.
Wednesday night I went out with Bra Girl and Nik to watch some bands play. Friday evening, Blondie and I went out to dinner together for some delicious food. TDH was out of town for the night with some of his high school friends.
Yesterday afternoon, TDH came over to hang out and spend the evening with me. It was cute because we both didn't care what we did, it was just both of our priorities to be with each other. Initially, we were going to go see a friend's band play, but TDH was tired from the night before, so he kind of just wanted to veg out, but if I wanted to go out, he would take one for the team. I told him that I didn't care what we did, I just wanted to spend time with him, that was my priority for the night. He teased me for saying that. I was like, "I say something sweet and you make fun of me?!" (He knows it's hard for me to be vulnerable.) So we watched "Teen Wolf," had some fun in bed and then went out to dinner.
After we got back from dinner, we sat on the couch and were talking about random stuff. He was telling me about how his mom and dad ask about me every day. I told him I think that's cute. After talking more about random stuff, he told me that his mom likes/liked (can't remember which he said) his ex-girlfriend. Ugh. Why do guys say stuff like that?! I really didn't need to hear that. I didn't know how to respond to that, so I was like, "Okay." We talked about more random stuff, some serious stuff and other random stuff and then decided to go back into the bedroom and watch some tv.
Funny story: We were watching the end of "Dirty Dancing," where Johnny and Baby do their big dance. So I told TDH about how my best friend from high school is getting married next year and she wanted to do Johnny and Baby's final dance with her fiance for their first dance at their wedding. TDH thought this was an awesome idea. My best friend's fiance did not. So, as we were watching the final dance, at the part where Baby and Johnny are dancing amongst the hotel guests, and Johnny lifts Baby above his head, not "The Lift," just where he's standing and she's standing and he lifts her, TDH says, "I bet we could do that!" I just laughed, thinking he wasn't serious. He was. He jumps out of bed, in his underwear, and says, "Come on! Let's try it!" So I get out of bed, in my bra and underwear, laughing hysterically at this point. TDH says, "Don't make fun of me if I can't do it. Johnny was really strong, he's lifting her from a dead stand. But you're like, what, 100 pounds? I think I can do it!" So, yeah, 6'4" TDH and little 5'4" me totally did this at 1am in our underwear. It was freaking hilarious! But we did it! TDH lifted me! Twice! So funny!
Anyways, after that, we had what we both now consider to be the best sex either of us have ever had. Absolutely mind-blowing. Then it was sleepy-time.
This morning we woke up and stayed in bed, just lounging around for a while, talking. At one point in our discussions from the night before, TDH had said that he doesn't know me, so I questioned him about this. He said, "I would hope that I don't fully know you yet. There's still more after the chocolate chip cookies, puppy dogs and rainbows stage." I laughed and said that of course there's more, but that I think we're past the "honeymoon" period of the relationship. At that point of the relationship, both people are still on their best behavior and I think we're past that at this point. He agreed, but he just wondered if we've fully seen each others flaws. I told him that he knows my flaws and that's my difficulty with being vulnerable, but that I'm obviously getting much better with that and then I gave him examples. I asked him what his flaws are and he asked me what I thought they are. I told him that I would think that it's that he tries to do everything and can maybe sometimes spread himself too thin. He agreed, but said that it's just because he wants to experience life. He said that he's been told in the past that he doesn't communicate well/clearly, but he thinks he does and he thinks it's more that those people didn't communicate well, not him.
At one point, I said something that came off totally wrong and I feel badly about. I asked what he's like in a fight - if he is an avoider and just tries to end the fight quickly even if it doesn't really get resolved, just so that the fighting can be avoided. Or if he is a total dick and really fights and insists that he's right, no matter what. I figured he would be one of the two, just because that's been typical of the guys I've dated in the past, and that was totally wrong of me to do. So TDH said, "So you've already prejudged me, huh?" I said, "I'm just guessing!" He said, "You think I'm a total dick, huh?" Then I felt awful. That is totally not how I meant it and I obviously do not think TDH is a dick, otherwise I wouldn't be with him. That's what I said to him and I apologized profusely. He laughed and said he was just joking and said there was no need to apologize, but I already felt so bad for saying what I said.
We had a nice day just laying around and finally around 4pm, it was time to get our lazy butts out of bed and time for TDH to go home.
Anyways, should be an easy work week for both TDH and I, we both have 3 day work weeks with the holiday weekend ahead. I don't have anything special planned for the long weekend though, so with Bra Girl, Blondie and most of my other friends out of town, I'm not sure what I'll be up to this weekend. I think TDH might be house-hunting this week and he wants my help, so that should be fun. He's also mentioned possibly planning and going on a Caribbean vacation together sometime in the fall too!
Tuesday evening, TDH came over after having drinks with his old roommate, he was a bit drunk, but he was wanting to have some fun in bed. Why is it that guys seem to forget that being drunk usually means having some troubles when it comes to sex? It doesn't bother me, but it only leads to them feeling embarrassed. The next morning, we woke up and TDH wanted us to cook a big breakfast - blueberry pancakes, bacon, english muffins, etc. So, we started cooking and when breakfast was ready, the beers from the night before caught up with him and he didn't feel well. I told him not to worry, that I didn't want him to eat just because I cooked. So I finished eating and we got back into bed and watched Back to the Future Part 3, while TDH recovered from his night of fun. It's so nice that we're both in sales and can go into work whenever we want! He left at around 1pm and I went off to work.
Wednesday night I went out with Bra Girl and Nik to watch some bands play. Friday evening, Blondie and I went out to dinner together for some delicious food. TDH was out of town for the night with some of his high school friends.
Yesterday afternoon, TDH came over to hang out and spend the evening with me. It was cute because we both didn't care what we did, it was just both of our priorities to be with each other. Initially, we were going to go see a friend's band play, but TDH was tired from the night before, so he kind of just wanted to veg out, but if I wanted to go out, he would take one for the team. I told him that I didn't care what we did, I just wanted to spend time with him, that was my priority for the night. He teased me for saying that. I was like, "I say something sweet and you make fun of me?!" (He knows it's hard for me to be vulnerable.) So we watched "Teen Wolf," had some fun in bed and then went out to dinner.
After we got back from dinner, we sat on the couch and were talking about random stuff. He was telling me about how his mom and dad ask about me every day. I told him I think that's cute. After talking more about random stuff, he told me that his mom likes/liked (can't remember which he said) his ex-girlfriend. Ugh. Why do guys say stuff like that?! I really didn't need to hear that. I didn't know how to respond to that, so I was like, "Okay." We talked about more random stuff, some serious stuff and other random stuff and then decided to go back into the bedroom and watch some tv.
Funny story: We were watching the end of "Dirty Dancing," where Johnny and Baby do their big dance. So I told TDH about how my best friend from high school is getting married next year and she wanted to do Johnny and Baby's final dance with her fiance for their first dance at their wedding. TDH thought this was an awesome idea. My best friend's fiance did not. So, as we were watching the final dance, at the part where Baby and Johnny are dancing amongst the hotel guests, and Johnny lifts Baby above his head, not "The Lift," just where he's standing and she's standing and he lifts her, TDH says, "I bet we could do that!" I just laughed, thinking he wasn't serious. He was. He jumps out of bed, in his underwear, and says, "Come on! Let's try it!" So I get out of bed, in my bra and underwear, laughing hysterically at this point. TDH says, "Don't make fun of me if I can't do it. Johnny was really strong, he's lifting her from a dead stand. But you're like, what, 100 pounds? I think I can do it!" So, yeah, 6'4" TDH and little 5'4" me totally did this at 1am in our underwear. It was freaking hilarious! But we did it! TDH lifted me! Twice! So funny!
Anyways, after that, we had what we both now consider to be the best sex either of us have ever had. Absolutely mind-blowing. Then it was sleepy-time.
This morning we woke up and stayed in bed, just lounging around for a while, talking. At one point in our discussions from the night before, TDH had said that he doesn't know me, so I questioned him about this. He said, "I would hope that I don't fully know you yet. There's still more after the chocolate chip cookies, puppy dogs and rainbows stage." I laughed and said that of course there's more, but that I think we're past the "honeymoon" period of the relationship. At that point of the relationship, both people are still on their best behavior and I think we're past that at this point. He agreed, but he just wondered if we've fully seen each others flaws. I told him that he knows my flaws and that's my difficulty with being vulnerable, but that I'm obviously getting much better with that and then I gave him examples. I asked him what his flaws are and he asked me what I thought they are. I told him that I would think that it's that he tries to do everything and can maybe sometimes spread himself too thin. He agreed, but said that it's just because he wants to experience life. He said that he's been told in the past that he doesn't communicate well/clearly, but he thinks he does and he thinks it's more that those people didn't communicate well, not him.
At one point, I said something that came off totally wrong and I feel badly about. I asked what he's like in a fight - if he is an avoider and just tries to end the fight quickly even if it doesn't really get resolved, just so that the fighting can be avoided. Or if he is a total dick and really fights and insists that he's right, no matter what. I figured he would be one of the two, just because that's been typical of the guys I've dated in the past, and that was totally wrong of me to do. So TDH said, "So you've already prejudged me, huh?" I said, "I'm just guessing!" He said, "You think I'm a total dick, huh?" Then I felt awful. That is totally not how I meant it and I obviously do not think TDH is a dick, otherwise I wouldn't be with him. That's what I said to him and I apologized profusely. He laughed and said he was just joking and said there was no need to apologize, but I already felt so bad for saying what I said.
We had a nice day just laying around and finally around 4pm, it was time to get our lazy butts out of bed and time for TDH to go home.
Anyways, should be an easy work week for both TDH and I, we both have 3 day work weeks with the holiday weekend ahead. I don't have anything special planned for the long weekend though, so with Bra Girl, Blondie and most of my other friends out of town, I'm not sure what I'll be up to this weekend. I think TDH might be house-hunting this week and he wants my help, so that should be fun. He's also mentioned possibly planning and going on a Caribbean vacation together sometime in the fall too!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
What to Say?
Best College Friend's wedding was beautiful. Quite an exhausting weekend, but she looked beautiful and had a fantastic time. I got back Monday afternoon and even though I was beyond tired, I managed to go to work and take a dance class. TDH and I talked on the phone Monday night for a while.
Tuesday, TDH came over, we went for a nice walk and grabbed a drink at a lounge up the street. We came back to my place and talked for a while about random stuff - we always have the best conversations. We finally decided to go to sleep, but not until we had some mind-blowing sex. Seriously, I had to just lay there after for a good 10 minutes before I could get up or go to sleep. I don't know what it is, but we have the best sex ever. And it's not just the best sex ever for me, TDH has told me on numerous occasions that it's the best sex ever for him and that he has never enjoyed sex so much or wanted it so much. It's crazy, but obviously in a good way!
Wednesday morning, TDH left for work and I worked from home for a bit before heading out to work a bit. TDH called and asked if I wanted to have lunch together. After seeing a pain in the ass office, I met up with TDH for lunch. He's so cute - at one point, he asked if I was wearing my usual "work ensemble." I told him yes, why? He replied, "You just look hot! That would be so distracting for your customers! But I like!" When I was driving to another office after lunch, TDH called and thanked me for meeting him for lunch and we chatted for a while until I had to go into an office. We talked again that night for almost two hours. It's strange, I'm not usually a big phone-talker, but we can just talk and talk.
Thursday evening, TDH came over after my dance class and we went to the lounge up the street for a drink and some dancing. We came back to my place and hung out some before some more fun in bed and then sleep. I had to get up earlier on Friday morning, so I couldn't be up too late.
Friday evening, TDH came over for a mini "Back to the Future" marathon. It's one of my favorite movies and he loves it too, so we watched the first two of the trilogy. We watched the movies and talked about random stuff like music and college and passions. He was going to stay up all night since he left this morning on his family trip to Asia, but he knew it wasn't going to be possible, so we slept from 1:30am until he had to go to back to his parent's house at 5:15am.
So, that's the latest! Is it too soon for me to miss TDH? I'm so used to talking to him so much during the day, so it feels weird that it's now 9:30pm and I haven't spoken to him all day. He won't be able to call while he's away, but he should be able to check his e-mail, so we have each other's e-mail addresses. Now since I have nothing better to do, I'll start stressing over when I should e-mail him. When is it too soon to e-mail him? I need to not freak out because I know he'll be happy to see an e-mail from me whenever he gets a chance to check his e-mail. He'll be in Asia for 2 weeks. Feels like forever, but hopefully it will go by quickly. You'd think this would be easy for me since I used to be in a cross-country relationship!!
Anyways, I'm going out with Bra Girl and a bunch of girls tonight. Went out with Blondie today and saw "Sex and the City" and then went to a street festival. Will probably go hang out with Crazy Girl tomorrow. Trying to stay busy!!
Tuesday, TDH came over, we went for a nice walk and grabbed a drink at a lounge up the street. We came back to my place and talked for a while about random stuff - we always have the best conversations. We finally decided to go to sleep, but not until we had some mind-blowing sex. Seriously, I had to just lay there after for a good 10 minutes before I could get up or go to sleep. I don't know what it is, but we have the best sex ever. And it's not just the best sex ever for me, TDH has told me on numerous occasions that it's the best sex ever for him and that he has never enjoyed sex so much or wanted it so much. It's crazy, but obviously in a good way!
Wednesday morning, TDH left for work and I worked from home for a bit before heading out to work a bit. TDH called and asked if I wanted to have lunch together. After seeing a pain in the ass office, I met up with TDH for lunch. He's so cute - at one point, he asked if I was wearing my usual "work ensemble." I told him yes, why? He replied, "You just look hot! That would be so distracting for your customers! But I like!" When I was driving to another office after lunch, TDH called and thanked me for meeting him for lunch and we chatted for a while until I had to go into an office. We talked again that night for almost two hours. It's strange, I'm not usually a big phone-talker, but we can just talk and talk.
Thursday evening, TDH came over after my dance class and we went to the lounge up the street for a drink and some dancing. We came back to my place and hung out some before some more fun in bed and then sleep. I had to get up earlier on Friday morning, so I couldn't be up too late.
Friday evening, TDH came over for a mini "Back to the Future" marathon. It's one of my favorite movies and he loves it too, so we watched the first two of the trilogy. We watched the movies and talked about random stuff like music and college and passions. He was going to stay up all night since he left this morning on his family trip to Asia, but he knew it wasn't going to be possible, so we slept from 1:30am until he had to go to back to his parent's house at 5:15am.
So, that's the latest! Is it too soon for me to miss TDH? I'm so used to talking to him so much during the day, so it feels weird that it's now 9:30pm and I haven't spoken to him all day. He won't be able to call while he's away, but he should be able to check his e-mail, so we have each other's e-mail addresses. Now since I have nothing better to do, I'll start stressing over when I should e-mail him. When is it too soon to e-mail him? I need to not freak out because I know he'll be happy to see an e-mail from me whenever he gets a chance to check his e-mail. He'll be in Asia for 2 weeks. Feels like forever, but hopefully it will go by quickly. You'd think this would be easy for me since I used to be in a cross-country relationship!!
Anyways, I'm going out with Bra Girl and a bunch of girls tonight. Went out with Blondie today and saw "Sex and the City" and then went to a street festival. Will probably go hang out with Crazy Girl tomorrow. Trying to stay busy!!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Wow, did that all really happen?!
So it's now 4pm and I woke up an hour ago from a nap because I only slept for 3 hours last night. TDH left my place at 10:30am this morning. We didn't go to sleep until 6am this morning. Shall I recap?
Wednesday before my dance classes I called TDH to check on him and see how he was feeling. He was feeling a lot better and had actually gone to work. We talked for a while until I had to go into my dance class. Since he was feeling better, I decided not to go the route some of you all had suggested as far as bringing him chicken soup or something. I still offered to bring him something if he wanted, but he's one of those people, like me, who when they are really sick, they just want to be alone with their "sick" and get through it.
Thursday evening, I went out to dinner with some old friends. After a drink or two, I was feeling tipsy and text messaged TDH. After dinner, I made it home safely and let TDH know that I was extremely tipsy and ready to pounce on him. He wrote back that unfortunately he is still sick and didn't want to get me sick, otherwise, he would be over in a second. He called around midnight and we were on the phone for over 3 hours. Crazy. I don't think I've ever talked on the phone to a guy for 3 hours.
Sometimes he likes to say funny things and then when I say, "What?!" in response, he'll say, "What?" back, like he never said anything. Hard to convey in this medium, but maybe some of you get it. I find this to be pretty funny, as does he. So I called him out on it and he says that he can't "mind-f**k" with me like he can other people because I'm too smart, so he just does this because he thinks it's funny and he knows I do too. I jokingly made some comment that he very well could be mind-f**king me in other ways or playing games. I told him I was joking. Later on in the conversation though, he says to me, "I hope you know I'm not playing games with you. I think you're a really cool girl and I really like you and I just want to take things slow." I'm like, "Yeah, I know." He then reiterates that he got out of a long relationship not too long ago, so he's not ready for anything super-serious yet. I'm like, "Yeah, I know. That's why I'm letting you guide the pace of things. I'm ready to move as fast as you are." I reminded him of my whole sex thing and clarified that I'm not going to have sex unless I'm in a relationship - neither of us are seeing anyone else and there's potential for more. He agreed and then said that he hadn't been looking to meet anyone when we met, I told him I hadn't been either, and then he said that he thinks that is when the best things happen. He then said that he really likes me and wants to see where this goes because there is definitely potential.
We were talking about something else for a bit, but I felt like I needed some clarification as to why he brought all of that up again, so I asked. He said because I had mentioned earlier that he could be playing games with me. I told him I had been joking. A little after 3am, we finally said goodnight and I went to sleep.
Yesterday was just a normal day of work for me and I took another dance class, which is always fun! Around 9pm, TDH called! He was on his way to his friend's house to help him out with some stuff and then they were going to go grab a beer and he wanted to see if I wanted to come. I told him to just give me a call when they were going out and I'd be up for it. So I met TDH and his friend (the same friend he was with the night we first met) at some random bar on the other side of town. We ended up going to another bar up the road and had a great time. TDH kept telling his friend how great I am, like how I can fire back with great come backs at the perfect moment, etc, little personality things. We talked about the night we met and I teased him again about rejecting me at first. TDH says to his friend, "Did I not say to you, this girl is so hot, she would never go for a guy like me?" I laughed and teased him again and he just said, "Well, it all turned out well in the end, didn't it?" Sigh.
TDH and I ended up coming back to my place after leaving the bar at 1am. We didn't waste much time going from the front door to my bedroom. And it was even more hot than on Sunday evening. At one point, TDH told me he wanted to have sex and not that he wishes we could have sex, like we would normally say. I was like, "What?" He repeated himself, so I was like, "But you know my requirements." He said he did, he heard them again the night before. I asked him if he was thinking with his brain and not his penis, he said he was. I told him if he's sure, then we can wait a few more days just to make absolutely sure because I don't want to get hurt, I want to make sure he's ready. He said he was sure, but if I wanted to wait, we could wait. He asked why I thought he might not be ready and I just told him that it was because of things he said the night before. He was like, "That doesn't sound good!" I reassured him it wasn't anything bad, but I just want him to be absolutely sure and be thinking with his brain and not his penis. He told me again later on in the night that he was ready, but I told him that I would feel better if we waited a few more days just to be absolutely sure. Let's just say though that TDH is a VERY, VERY giving lover. All he wanted to do was please me. Besides that, there was lots of dirty talk going on and just all-around hotness.
We finally went to sleep at around 6am. At about 9am, we both woke up and started going at it again. We ended up in the shower together and then back in bed. At about 10:30am, TDH got up to go home. I don't think he was feeling too hot, he said he felt a bit hungover, but he's one of those people that refuses to take Advil or anything, so he just deals with the pain.
So now I just can't believe all of that happened. I woke up from my nap and I was like, "Did that all happen?!" Then I looked around and saw the two towels on the floor, the sheets torn off the bed and the rest of the mess and realize it all happened.
I'm very interested to see if TDH is ready for the next level now that he is totally sober and not in an aroused state. Not sure if I should bring that up at all or just let it be and see if he brings it up. I'm just trying to go with the flow here and not do my usual over-analyzing.
Wednesday before my dance classes I called TDH to check on him and see how he was feeling. He was feeling a lot better and had actually gone to work. We talked for a while until I had to go into my dance class. Since he was feeling better, I decided not to go the route some of you all had suggested as far as bringing him chicken soup or something. I still offered to bring him something if he wanted, but he's one of those people, like me, who when they are really sick, they just want to be alone with their "sick" and get through it.
Thursday evening, I went out to dinner with some old friends. After a drink or two, I was feeling tipsy and text messaged TDH. After dinner, I made it home safely and let TDH know that I was extremely tipsy and ready to pounce on him. He wrote back that unfortunately he is still sick and didn't want to get me sick, otherwise, he would be over in a second. He called around midnight and we were on the phone for over 3 hours. Crazy. I don't think I've ever talked on the phone to a guy for 3 hours.
Sometimes he likes to say funny things and then when I say, "What?!" in response, he'll say, "What?" back, like he never said anything. Hard to convey in this medium, but maybe some of you get it. I find this to be pretty funny, as does he. So I called him out on it and he says that he can't "mind-f**k" with me like he can other people because I'm too smart, so he just does this because he thinks it's funny and he knows I do too. I jokingly made some comment that he very well could be mind-f**king me in other ways or playing games. I told him I was joking. Later on in the conversation though, he says to me, "I hope you know I'm not playing games with you. I think you're a really cool girl and I really like you and I just want to take things slow." I'm like, "Yeah, I know." He then reiterates that he got out of a long relationship not too long ago, so he's not ready for anything super-serious yet. I'm like, "Yeah, I know. That's why I'm letting you guide the pace of things. I'm ready to move as fast as you are." I reminded him of my whole sex thing and clarified that I'm not going to have sex unless I'm in a relationship - neither of us are seeing anyone else and there's potential for more. He agreed and then said that he hadn't been looking to meet anyone when we met, I told him I hadn't been either, and then he said that he thinks that is when the best things happen. He then said that he really likes me and wants to see where this goes because there is definitely potential.
We were talking about something else for a bit, but I felt like I needed some clarification as to why he brought all of that up again, so I asked. He said because I had mentioned earlier that he could be playing games with me. I told him I had been joking. A little after 3am, we finally said goodnight and I went to sleep.
Yesterday was just a normal day of work for me and I took another dance class, which is always fun! Around 9pm, TDH called! He was on his way to his friend's house to help him out with some stuff and then they were going to go grab a beer and he wanted to see if I wanted to come. I told him to just give me a call when they were going out and I'd be up for it. So I met TDH and his friend (the same friend he was with the night we first met) at some random bar on the other side of town. We ended up going to another bar up the road and had a great time. TDH kept telling his friend how great I am, like how I can fire back with great come backs at the perfect moment, etc, little personality things. We talked about the night we met and I teased him again about rejecting me at first. TDH says to his friend, "Did I not say to you, this girl is so hot, she would never go for a guy like me?" I laughed and teased him again and he just said, "Well, it all turned out well in the end, didn't it?" Sigh.
TDH and I ended up coming back to my place after leaving the bar at 1am. We didn't waste much time going from the front door to my bedroom. And it was even more hot than on Sunday evening. At one point, TDH told me he wanted to have sex and not that he wishes we could have sex, like we would normally say. I was like, "What?" He repeated himself, so I was like, "But you know my requirements." He said he did, he heard them again the night before. I asked him if he was thinking with his brain and not his penis, he said he was. I told him if he's sure, then we can wait a few more days just to make absolutely sure because I don't want to get hurt, I want to make sure he's ready. He said he was sure, but if I wanted to wait, we could wait. He asked why I thought he might not be ready and I just told him that it was because of things he said the night before. He was like, "That doesn't sound good!" I reassured him it wasn't anything bad, but I just want him to be absolutely sure and be thinking with his brain and not his penis. He told me again later on in the night that he was ready, but I told him that I would feel better if we waited a few more days just to be absolutely sure. Let's just say though that TDH is a VERY, VERY giving lover. All he wanted to do was please me. Besides that, there was lots of dirty talk going on and just all-around hotness.
We finally went to sleep at around 6am. At about 9am, we both woke up and started going at it again. We ended up in the shower together and then back in bed. At about 10:30am, TDH got up to go home. I don't think he was feeling too hot, he said he felt a bit hungover, but he's one of those people that refuses to take Advil or anything, so he just deals with the pain.
So now I just can't believe all of that happened. I woke up from my nap and I was like, "Did that all happen?!" Then I looked around and saw the two towels on the floor, the sheets torn off the bed and the rest of the mess and realize it all happened.
I'm very interested to see if TDH is ready for the next level now that he is totally sober and not in an aroused state. Not sure if I should bring that up at all or just let it be and see if he brings it up. I'm just trying to go with the flow here and not do my usual over-analyzing.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Friends
My Friday night out with MJ and her friends was definitely eventful to say the least. MJ had been drinking since 5pm, so by the time I met up with her and her friends at 11pm, she was wasted. We made it over to a bar in the chill part of town and I found MJ's friend Abbie at the bar and got a drink. Abbie and I wandered around the bar and found the rest of the crew, but no MJ. We chatted for a few minutes before we finally saw MJ sitting at the bar, text messaging with tears rolling down her cheeks. Abbie and I go up to MJ and ask her what's wrong. She says she doesn't want to talk about it and just bursts into tears again. So I sit at a barstool next to her that a guy graciously offered up and Abbie stood in front of MJ to block her from the rest of the bar patrons. After collecting herself, we try to distract MJ by talking about random stuff, Abbie starts getting hit on by some random old dude. MJ tells me that she's crying because her ex-boyfriend was with them earlier (they have the same friends so they end up hanging out together a lot) and it upset her because they are so good together and she doesn't understand why it didn't work out between them. Now she feels pathetic because she's "that girl" who is crying in a bar. I tell her how she's feeling is perfectly normal so she doesn't need to be hard on herself. Some guy who was trying to be nice came up to us and asked MJ if she had been crying, bad move dude. MJ busts out with, "F--k you! That's so rude! You should never ask a girl that! F--k you!" I apologize to him and he goes and buys MJ a beer to apologize to her. MJ managed to keep it together the rest of the night and ended up having a great time. I resisted going to a certain seedy strip club/bar because I had to wake up early the next morning to fly to DC.
At some point during all of this, The New Guy and I were text messaging back and forth. He wanted to come meet up with me, but he couldn't drive. I told him I was ready to pounce on him, he enjoyed that a lot. He told me that he "would like me now." I enjoyed that. But, we ended up talking on the phone for about a half hour before I went to sleep and I told him I'd call him when I got back into town from DC.
The trip to DC was fun. Best College Friend loved her bridal shower, she had a fantastic time and was in awe of how nice it was. The Matron of Honor and I are really getting along, so that's a relief. I knew her in college, but she was a bit of a pain in the ass then. She was bratty and quite a prude. But she lives in NYC now and it's loosened her up and made her grow up. So, I'm relieved that since we're sharing duties as the Matron and Maid of Honor we are definitely getting along!
I was beyond exhausted when I got back from DC. I was ready to go to sleep at 7pm, but forced myself to stay awake until 11pm so I didn't wake up at 4am ready to go. The New Guy called before I even landed so I called him back and we chatted for a while about the weekend. He also told me how he had another erotic dream about me the night before. (This is the second one.) He told me how strange it is that he's having these dreams because he never has dreams like this! After talking about that for a bit, he told me how one of his bandmates is in town this week to work on finishing their record, so he's going to be busy, but he said he'd ditch his friend a night or two so that he could hang out with me.
Last night, The New Guy called to see what I was up to. I told him I was finally just sitting down to relax after a busy day. He told me they had finished in the studio early and him and a couple of his friends were going to shoot pool and wanted to see if I wanted to join them. Uh, yeah! So, wow, I'm meeting some friends. That's some big stuff right there. So while I still get nervous when I am going to see The New Guy, this time while I was getting ready to meet up with him AND his friends, I was literally shaking.
I got to the pool place and found The New Guy and his two friends. He was standing next to one of his friends who, upon seeing me, says to New Guy, "Nice!" (Yay for me!) We had a lot of fun shooting pool and drinking beer. The New Guy wasn't even afraid to be a little affectionate to me around his friends. At one point, we were both sitting on the pool table next to ours, but we had some distance between us. New Guy put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him and kept his arm around me. Yay! (I know, I'm a dork.)
One of his friends left early, which New Guy and his remaining friend (the one from out of town) were happy about. I guess they thought he weirded me out because he asked me a lot of questions when I first got there. I was like, "Whatever! I didn't really notice anything!" New Guy said to his friend, "She can handle herself well!"
Around 12:45am, it was time to leave. Unfortunately, out of town friend is staying with The New Guy, so I couldn't really get him to myself for a quick makeout session. Friend did say to me when we were leaving though, "You should definitely come hang out with us again this week! I'm in town until Saturday, so you should come out again!" I told him I would. After a hug and a kiss on the neck from The New Guy, I was off.
Before I even made it home, The New Guy called me to "keep me company on my drive home." He told me I looked really cute tonight. We talked for a half hour about random stuff - pool, dance and then his dream the other night. At one point, he says, "We should just get naked already!" I reminded him that I have my requirements and then he laughed and said how he was the one who said we should take it slow in the first place! I agreed and said that I thought it was a good idea though and I like how it's working. He agreed and said I had a point. After chatting for a bit more, it was time for bed.
So that's the big update for now! I'm surprised I met some of his friends. That's pretty cool. Or am I reading too much into that? What am I to make of him telling me he had erotic dreams about me? It doesn't bother me, I think it's hot! As long as he's into me more than in just a physical way. But if that were the case, I don't think I'd be meeting any friends, right? Okay, I need to chill!
At some point during all of this, The New Guy and I were text messaging back and forth. He wanted to come meet up with me, but he couldn't drive. I told him I was ready to pounce on him, he enjoyed that a lot. He told me that he "would like me now." I enjoyed that. But, we ended up talking on the phone for about a half hour before I went to sleep and I told him I'd call him when I got back into town from DC.
The trip to DC was fun. Best College Friend loved her bridal shower, she had a fantastic time and was in awe of how nice it was. The Matron of Honor and I are really getting along, so that's a relief. I knew her in college, but she was a bit of a pain in the ass then. She was bratty and quite a prude. But she lives in NYC now and it's loosened her up and made her grow up. So, I'm relieved that since we're sharing duties as the Matron and Maid of Honor we are definitely getting along!
I was beyond exhausted when I got back from DC. I was ready to go to sleep at 7pm, but forced myself to stay awake until 11pm so I didn't wake up at 4am ready to go. The New Guy called before I even landed so I called him back and we chatted for a while about the weekend. He also told me how he had another erotic dream about me the night before. (This is the second one.) He told me how strange it is that he's having these dreams because he never has dreams like this! After talking about that for a bit, he told me how one of his bandmates is in town this week to work on finishing their record, so he's going to be busy, but he said he'd ditch his friend a night or two so that he could hang out with me.
Last night, The New Guy called to see what I was up to. I told him I was finally just sitting down to relax after a busy day. He told me they had finished in the studio early and him and a couple of his friends were going to shoot pool and wanted to see if I wanted to join them. Uh, yeah! So, wow, I'm meeting some friends. That's some big stuff right there. So while I still get nervous when I am going to see The New Guy, this time while I was getting ready to meet up with him AND his friends, I was literally shaking.
I got to the pool place and found The New Guy and his two friends. He was standing next to one of his friends who, upon seeing me, says to New Guy, "Nice!" (Yay for me!) We had a lot of fun shooting pool and drinking beer. The New Guy wasn't even afraid to be a little affectionate to me around his friends. At one point, we were both sitting on the pool table next to ours, but we had some distance between us. New Guy put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him and kept his arm around me. Yay! (I know, I'm a dork.)
One of his friends left early, which New Guy and his remaining friend (the one from out of town) were happy about. I guess they thought he weirded me out because he asked me a lot of questions when I first got there. I was like, "Whatever! I didn't really notice anything!" New Guy said to his friend, "She can handle herself well!"
Around 12:45am, it was time to leave. Unfortunately, out of town friend is staying with The New Guy, so I couldn't really get him to myself for a quick makeout session. Friend did say to me when we were leaving though, "You should definitely come hang out with us again this week! I'm in town until Saturday, so you should come out again!" I told him I would. After a hug and a kiss on the neck from The New Guy, I was off.
Before I even made it home, The New Guy called me to "keep me company on my drive home." He told me I looked really cute tonight. We talked for a half hour about random stuff - pool, dance and then his dream the other night. At one point, he says, "We should just get naked already!" I reminded him that I have my requirements and then he laughed and said how he was the one who said we should take it slow in the first place! I agreed and said that I thought it was a good idea though and I like how it's working. He agreed and said I had a point. After chatting for a bit more, it was time for bed.
So that's the big update for now! I'm surprised I met some of his friends. That's pretty cool. Or am I reading too much into that? What am I to make of him telling me he had erotic dreams about me? It doesn't bother me, I think it's hot! As long as he's into me more than in just a physical way. But if that were the case, I don't think I'd be meeting any friends, right? Okay, I need to chill!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Patience...
This taking things slow business with The New Guy is definitely a challenge for me. A good one, but it's still a challenge. It's definitely scary and I'm not sure if I can explain why, but I'll try.
Although I know he likes me, the whole act of actually taking things slow doesn't necessarily obviously convey that on a physical level. I'm laughing as I type because I realize that I sound a bit ridiculous. I guess I'm just used to throwing all caution to the wind and diving head first into relationships, so I'm used to more constant physical/sexual attention for validation. Make sense? I need to realize that it's an amazing thing that this guy not only thinks I'm hot, but he wants to really get to know me first. He wants to see what is underneath the beauty. And I think he really likes what he's getting to know.
I was thinking about this yesterday. On Friday, it will have been a month since The New Guy and I first met. Normally, by now I would have slept with him and we would have had much more than just one or two hot make-out sessions. (This doesn't happen very often. I've only had 3 serious boyfriends in my life!) Is it more scary to me because I feel almost like I'm almost more emotionally invested than I would have normally been? In the past, have I not been getting as close to men on an emotional level so soon because we get too caught up in the physical aspect of the developing relationship?
Wow. I feel like I'm having a little session with The Professional here!
This is just so different from how I've done things in the past. What a freaking challenge this is. It's such a challenge because I'm always wondering when I'm going to see him, what's going to happen when we see each other, does he really like me as much as I like him? I know I need to just go with the flow, but I can be a spaz when I'm into someone, so going with the flow isn't that easy. Especially in a situation like this, where things are a little extra scary, in a good way of course, my brain goes a bit on overdrive.
Does any part of what I said above make sense?
Although I know he likes me, the whole act of actually taking things slow doesn't necessarily obviously convey that on a physical level. I'm laughing as I type because I realize that I sound a bit ridiculous. I guess I'm just used to throwing all caution to the wind and diving head first into relationships, so I'm used to more constant physical/sexual attention for validation. Make sense? I need to realize that it's an amazing thing that this guy not only thinks I'm hot, but he wants to really get to know me first. He wants to see what is underneath the beauty. And I think he really likes what he's getting to know.
I was thinking about this yesterday. On Friday, it will have been a month since The New Guy and I first met. Normally, by now I would have slept with him and we would have had much more than just one or two hot make-out sessions. (This doesn't happen very often. I've only had 3 serious boyfriends in my life!) Is it more scary to me because I feel almost like I'm almost more emotionally invested than I would have normally been? In the past, have I not been getting as close to men on an emotional level so soon because we get too caught up in the physical aspect of the developing relationship?
Wow. I feel like I'm having a little session with The Professional here!
This is just so different from how I've done things in the past. What a freaking challenge this is. It's such a challenge because I'm always wondering when I'm going to see him, what's going to happen when we see each other, does he really like me as much as I like him? I know I need to just go with the flow, but I can be a spaz when I'm into someone, so going with the flow isn't that easy. Especially in a situation like this, where things are a little extra scary, in a good way of course, my brain goes a bit on overdrive.
Does any part of what I said above make sense?
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Taking it slow...
I'll just lay it out right now before I start with my update... The New Guy is the best kisser EVER. There we go. On to the update.
Wednesday night, The New Guy came over to my place and we chatted for a while. We listened to some of the music he and his band have been working on in the studio for the past couple of weeks and then put in a movie. Even though I was trying to sit on the couch first so he could be the one to pick seating arrangements, he managed to always be the first one sitting on the couch! I just sat in my usual spot and then asked if he was comfortable. Being 6'4", he said that tall people always look a bit uncomfortable when they sit. I offered him my spot since it's on the chaise part of my couch but he said he was fine. He said that he didn't bite and I could sit closer to him if I wanted. He finally took me up on my offer of sitting in my more comfortable spot and we sat next to each other on the couch and watched the movie, him with his arm around me.
Something very unusual happened about halfway through the movie though... My cat is a very social cat, but by social, I mean she'll say hi to people, but doesn't let anyone but me pick her up and hold her and will certainly not lay on anyone else's lap but mine. Halfway through the movie, my cat jumped up onto the couch, walked into my lap and continued walking into The New Guy's lap. He petted her for a minute and then she lied down in his lap and full on passed out. Ri-dic-ulous. She has NEVER done this to anyone but me. I was in total shock and told him that. Even when I got up once to get water, she didn't even look up, just kept on sleeping. Once the movie ended, New Guy picked my cat up and put her on his chest. I was like, "She's not going to stay there, she'll jump off in a second." Oh no. Not only did she stay there, but she just put one paw on his chest, one paw curled under her, looked up at him and started purring. I was like, "Are you kidding me?!"
After a few minutes of small talk about movies, I moved the cat away and The New Guy and I made slightly nervous small talk. The New Guy then went in for the kiss. After kissing for a minute, I told him how relieved I was that he was such a good kisser. He busts out with, "I didn't know I was being graded on a rubric!" Awhh, how nerdy of him!! I told him how when you wait for something, you start wondering about what it is going to be like. We kissed some more and then he asked how he was doing. I told him he was acing the test. Let's just say that The New Guy really likes Single Girl. He kept saying how he was sorry for putting his hands all over me, but he loves how I feel. I told him there is no reason to apologize, but that there would still be no sex unless I'm in a relationship. There was a mention about sex a little later, and I said something about maybe we'll find out someday, he responded, "Hopefully!"
After making out for a while, we talked again about how it's good that we're taking things slow. He said, "I really like you a lot, so I'm glad we're taking things slow. There's also another reason I want to take things slow." I was like, "Yeah, what's that?" Then he told me that about 4 months ago, he got out of a serious relationship. He said that he doesn't want to jump quickly into something super-serious, so it's good that we're taking things slow, but he really likes me. So, I was shocked, but I still asked what happened, just so I would know. He said that it ended amicably, but that they both knew it wasn't going to work out and that it wasn't meant to be. I told him that I got out of a serious relationship in January, but I'm already moved on, so there's nothing to worry about there. The New Guy and I continued making out for a while and then around 1am, it was time to call it a night.
I've already talked to The Professional about all of this and she reassured me that it's a really good sign that he's told me this, that it definitely means that he really likes me and I'm definitely not a rebound. If I were a rebound, he wouldn't be taking things slow. If he didn't like me, he wouldn't be bothering to share these things with me.
Talked to New Guy on Friday and we made tentative plans to hang out on Saturday, depending on how far along he was with the work he had to get done. He was going out with some friends on Friday night to celebrate the anniversary of a friend's passing.
Friday night, I went out to dinner with my friend Bra Girl and then I went out to a bar with MJ and a couple of her friends. I drank for the first time since July (I've been on medication for my migraines that can effect alcohol), but not too much. Around 1:45am, MJ, one of her friends and I were about to go on stage to sing karaoke when The New Guy called. I couldn't really hear him very well, but I told him what bar I was at and that I was actually drinking and about to sing karaoke and I would call him back after the song. We sang and it was hilarious. I was being a bit of a diva and getting annoyed because the other two girls weren't singing on time, but it was hilarious. I called New Guy back after the song and he said he was downstairs, so MJ, her friend and I went downstairs to meet him.
The New Guy told me he didn't want to take me away from my friends or break up the party, that he was just around the corner and wanted to stop by and say hi. I told him not to worry, he wasn't interrupting anything. MJ and her friend were wasted anyways and MJ was too busy flirting with the bartender to care! The New Guy was having trouble getting a drink at the bar, so just like when we first met, I stepped in and helped him get a drink. While waiting, he snuck in and kissed me, very cute. Sigh. At one point, MJ turns around and says, "So (New Guy), get this!" New Guy pretends like that's not his name and says, "Is (SingleGirl) dating some guy named (New Guy)?" Here's where my brain thinks like a 13 year old girl and starts squealing and saying, "OMG! He said we're dating!!" Calm down Single Girl.
After hanging out there for a bit, I offered to walk him to his car. MJ and her friend were going to take a cab home, she lives on the other side of town from me. So we walked to his car and then he was going to give me a ride to my car. (I was fine to drive, I had only had half a shot and a beer all night.) I asked him if he had been trying to get a booty call and he said he wasn't, he had wanted to stop by and say hi and chat. We got to my car and made out for a few minutes. He said how he could do this forever with me. Finally I said that it was getting late and time to go, so we said goodnight and he said he'd call me the next day.
While walking across the grass to my car, I spotted MJ and her friend. MJ asked if I could give her a ride home because she felt bad making the guys that were giving them a ride home stop off at so many places. I said I would, so I took her home and then I went home and went to bed.
The New Guy called yesterday and we changed our plans to hang out tonight for a little bit instead of last night so he could keep working. He said he feels bad because he doesn't want me to take it personally, it's just that we met right in the middle of when he is trying to get the album finished and in two weeks when it's done, he won't be so crazy with working on it. I told him not to worry, I was exhausted from not sleeping much and I wanted to get to bed early anyways. We ended up talking for a while about some hilarious stuff.
Saw a movie by myself today, "21," really good. The New Guy called while I was in it, so I called him after. He thought it was hot that I'm independent enough to go to the movies alone. He said he'd rather spend more time with me than just an hour and a half tonight, so he wants to make plans for later this week, but he still wants to stop by tonight and hang out, even if it's just for a little bit. I told him that as long as he doesn't see me as just a piece of meat, it's cool by me.
So, he came over and we watched a couple of episodes of 90210. It was time for him to leave, he said, "I better get going and go do my work stuff," and I said, "Well, I guess I won't jump on you then!" He replied that I probably shouldn't because if I did, he'd be here all night. We kissed for a minute and I told him I'd try not to take it personally. He told me not to, that it wasn't personal, that he should be getting home and if we start going at it, he'll be here all night and there can't be any crazy sex on the bathroom floor or anything. I told him definitely not! He said, "Plus, we're taking things slow and we're also letting the sexual tension build." I laughed at this and told him that I thought the sexual tension was definitely already building. He laughed and agreed. So I kissed him again and walked him to his car. We have plans to get together again later on this week, maybe Wednesday or Thursday, so we'll see!
For now, I'm just trying to stay calm and not over-analyze everything. I just know that I really like him and I hope he really likes me too. I think it's good that we're taking things slow, as long as it's for good reason, which I think it is - I think he likes me enough to really want to get to know me and not rush into anything too fast. I've just never been in this situation before - where you both talk about taking things slow, but actually take things slow - so I don't know how to handle it. How does it work? I guess I'm just a little scared, but a good scared.
Wednesday night, The New Guy came over to my place and we chatted for a while. We listened to some of the music he and his band have been working on in the studio for the past couple of weeks and then put in a movie. Even though I was trying to sit on the couch first so he could be the one to pick seating arrangements, he managed to always be the first one sitting on the couch! I just sat in my usual spot and then asked if he was comfortable. Being 6'4", he said that tall people always look a bit uncomfortable when they sit. I offered him my spot since it's on the chaise part of my couch but he said he was fine. He said that he didn't bite and I could sit closer to him if I wanted. He finally took me up on my offer of sitting in my more comfortable spot and we sat next to each other on the couch and watched the movie, him with his arm around me.
Something very unusual happened about halfway through the movie though... My cat is a very social cat, but by social, I mean she'll say hi to people, but doesn't let anyone but me pick her up and hold her and will certainly not lay on anyone else's lap but mine. Halfway through the movie, my cat jumped up onto the couch, walked into my lap and continued walking into The New Guy's lap. He petted her for a minute and then she lied down in his lap and full on passed out. Ri-dic-ulous. She has NEVER done this to anyone but me. I was in total shock and told him that. Even when I got up once to get water, she didn't even look up, just kept on sleeping. Once the movie ended, New Guy picked my cat up and put her on his chest. I was like, "She's not going to stay there, she'll jump off in a second." Oh no. Not only did she stay there, but she just put one paw on his chest, one paw curled under her, looked up at him and started purring. I was like, "Are you kidding me?!"
After a few minutes of small talk about movies, I moved the cat away and The New Guy and I made slightly nervous small talk. The New Guy then went in for the kiss. After kissing for a minute, I told him how relieved I was that he was such a good kisser. He busts out with, "I didn't know I was being graded on a rubric!" Awhh, how nerdy of him!! I told him how when you wait for something, you start wondering about what it is going to be like. We kissed some more and then he asked how he was doing. I told him he was acing the test. Let's just say that The New Guy really likes Single Girl. He kept saying how he was sorry for putting his hands all over me, but he loves how I feel. I told him there is no reason to apologize, but that there would still be no sex unless I'm in a relationship. There was a mention about sex a little later, and I said something about maybe we'll find out someday, he responded, "Hopefully!"
After making out for a while, we talked again about how it's good that we're taking things slow. He said, "I really like you a lot, so I'm glad we're taking things slow. There's also another reason I want to take things slow." I was like, "Yeah, what's that?" Then he told me that about 4 months ago, he got out of a serious relationship. He said that he doesn't want to jump quickly into something super-serious, so it's good that we're taking things slow, but he really likes me. So, I was shocked, but I still asked what happened, just so I would know. He said that it ended amicably, but that they both knew it wasn't going to work out and that it wasn't meant to be. I told him that I got out of a serious relationship in January, but I'm already moved on, so there's nothing to worry about there. The New Guy and I continued making out for a while and then around 1am, it was time to call it a night.
I've already talked to The Professional about all of this and she reassured me that it's a really good sign that he's told me this, that it definitely means that he really likes me and I'm definitely not a rebound. If I were a rebound, he wouldn't be taking things slow. If he didn't like me, he wouldn't be bothering to share these things with me.
Talked to New Guy on Friday and we made tentative plans to hang out on Saturday, depending on how far along he was with the work he had to get done. He was going out with some friends on Friday night to celebrate the anniversary of a friend's passing.
Friday night, I went out to dinner with my friend Bra Girl and then I went out to a bar with MJ and a couple of her friends. I drank for the first time since July (I've been on medication for my migraines that can effect alcohol), but not too much. Around 1:45am, MJ, one of her friends and I were about to go on stage to sing karaoke when The New Guy called. I couldn't really hear him very well, but I told him what bar I was at and that I was actually drinking and about to sing karaoke and I would call him back after the song. We sang and it was hilarious. I was being a bit of a diva and getting annoyed because the other two girls weren't singing on time, but it was hilarious. I called New Guy back after the song and he said he was downstairs, so MJ, her friend and I went downstairs to meet him.
The New Guy told me he didn't want to take me away from my friends or break up the party, that he was just around the corner and wanted to stop by and say hi. I told him not to worry, he wasn't interrupting anything. MJ and her friend were wasted anyways and MJ was too busy flirting with the bartender to care! The New Guy was having trouble getting a drink at the bar, so just like when we first met, I stepped in and helped him get a drink. While waiting, he snuck in and kissed me, very cute. Sigh. At one point, MJ turns around and says, "So (New Guy), get this!" New Guy pretends like that's not his name and says, "Is (SingleGirl) dating some guy named (New Guy)?" Here's where my brain thinks like a 13 year old girl and starts squealing and saying, "OMG! He said we're dating!!" Calm down Single Girl.
After hanging out there for a bit, I offered to walk him to his car. MJ and her friend were going to take a cab home, she lives on the other side of town from me. So we walked to his car and then he was going to give me a ride to my car. (I was fine to drive, I had only had half a shot and a beer all night.) I asked him if he had been trying to get a booty call and he said he wasn't, he had wanted to stop by and say hi and chat. We got to my car and made out for a few minutes. He said how he could do this forever with me. Finally I said that it was getting late and time to go, so we said goodnight and he said he'd call me the next day.
While walking across the grass to my car, I spotted MJ and her friend. MJ asked if I could give her a ride home because she felt bad making the guys that were giving them a ride home stop off at so many places. I said I would, so I took her home and then I went home and went to bed.
The New Guy called yesterday and we changed our plans to hang out tonight for a little bit instead of last night so he could keep working. He said he feels bad because he doesn't want me to take it personally, it's just that we met right in the middle of when he is trying to get the album finished and in two weeks when it's done, he won't be so crazy with working on it. I told him not to worry, I was exhausted from not sleeping much and I wanted to get to bed early anyways. We ended up talking for a while about some hilarious stuff.
Saw a movie by myself today, "21," really good. The New Guy called while I was in it, so I called him after. He thought it was hot that I'm independent enough to go to the movies alone. He said he'd rather spend more time with me than just an hour and a half tonight, so he wants to make plans for later this week, but he still wants to stop by tonight and hang out, even if it's just for a little bit. I told him that as long as he doesn't see me as just a piece of meat, it's cool by me.
So, he came over and we watched a couple of episodes of 90210. It was time for him to leave, he said, "I better get going and go do my work stuff," and I said, "Well, I guess I won't jump on you then!" He replied that I probably shouldn't because if I did, he'd be here all night. We kissed for a minute and I told him I'd try not to take it personally. He told me not to, that it wasn't personal, that he should be getting home and if we start going at it, he'll be here all night and there can't be any crazy sex on the bathroom floor or anything. I told him definitely not! He said, "Plus, we're taking things slow and we're also letting the sexual tension build." I laughed at this and told him that I thought the sexual tension was definitely already building. He laughed and agreed. So I kissed him again and walked him to his car. We have plans to get together again later on this week, maybe Wednesday or Thursday, so we'll see!
For now, I'm just trying to stay calm and not over-analyze everything. I just know that I really like him and I hope he really likes me too. I think it's good that we're taking things slow, as long as it's for good reason, which I think it is - I think he likes me enough to really want to get to know me and not rush into anything too fast. I've just never been in this situation before - where you both talk about taking things slow, but actually take things slow - so I don't know how to handle it. How does it work? I guess I'm just a little scared, but a good scared.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
WTH??
Okay, so just got back from my second date with the New Guy.
New Guy called today to see what I wanted to do when we hung out tonight. We chatted for about an hour about random stuff, as usual, and he made several comments about how he couldn't believe he had found a hot girl who's into the same stuff he's into. He also made a comment about how after his roommate moves out next month, I'll have to come over and play old-school Nintendo with him. (I had told him that I love playing old-school Nintendo.) Since the weather was gorgeous today, we decided to meet up at a cafe that has outdoor seating at 9pm.
So, I got there and we got to talking as usual. Yes, I still don't have much of a voice and now you can add a wonderful dry cough to the list of ailments. So, amongst the talking, there was a lot of coughing from me. The conversation was fantastic once again, no awkward silences, funny stories were told and we continued to learn more about each other. He's the type of guy who's very sincere- he's not going to ask you how you are just to ask you, he's going to ask you how you are if he really wants to know. I like that and can appreciate that. I'm like that too, and in my everyday working life in sales, it's rare. Anyways, at around 11pm, it was time to end the night since we both have to be up at a decent time to get to work. He asked if I wanted to get together again on Wednesday or Thursday to do something outside since the weather is going to be nice again and I told him I would love to.
Here is where the "what the hell?" from above comes in... Once again, he didn't kiss me. I don't get it! At least he hugged me this time. But still!! Is it because I'm still sick? If that's the case, tell me that! I know he's interested in me because he had already asked me out again for later in the week. I know he's not gay. Is he just moving REALLY slow? What do I do? What do I do if when we hang out again if he doesn't kiss me again? Do I say something? I'm not trying to sound conceited or anything, but I've never been in this situation before! I'm so confused!
New Guy called today to see what I wanted to do when we hung out tonight. We chatted for about an hour about random stuff, as usual, and he made several comments about how he couldn't believe he had found a hot girl who's into the same stuff he's into. He also made a comment about how after his roommate moves out next month, I'll have to come over and play old-school Nintendo with him. (I had told him that I love playing old-school Nintendo.) Since the weather was gorgeous today, we decided to meet up at a cafe that has outdoor seating at 9pm.
So, I got there and we got to talking as usual. Yes, I still don't have much of a voice and now you can add a wonderful dry cough to the list of ailments. So, amongst the talking, there was a lot of coughing from me. The conversation was fantastic once again, no awkward silences, funny stories were told and we continued to learn more about each other. He's the type of guy who's very sincere- he's not going to ask you how you are just to ask you, he's going to ask you how you are if he really wants to know. I like that and can appreciate that. I'm like that too, and in my everyday working life in sales, it's rare. Anyways, at around 11pm, it was time to end the night since we both have to be up at a decent time to get to work. He asked if I wanted to get together again on Wednesday or Thursday to do something outside since the weather is going to be nice again and I told him I would love to.
Here is where the "what the hell?" from above comes in... Once again, he didn't kiss me. I don't get it! At least he hugged me this time. But still!! Is it because I'm still sick? If that's the case, tell me that! I know he's interested in me because he had already asked me out again for later in the week. I know he's not gay. Is he just moving REALLY slow? What do I do? What do I do if when we hang out again if he doesn't kiss me again? Do I say something? I'm not trying to sound conceited or anything, but I've never been in this situation before! I'm so confused!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Need advice! A bump in the road...
Well, it seems like because of work stuff, I really won't be moving as soon as I had hoped. I'm really not thrilled about this. Until Monday, I had been under the impression that a position would open up for me within the next couple of months and I'd be outta here! But, nope, probably not going to happen. There's still a slight chance, but it's very slim, and it's more likely that something will open up in October. So, yes, I'm annoyed about that, but it's out of my control.
Okay, so here is where I need your help...
So, mainly because of friends like Crazy Girl, College Friend and MJ putting thoughts into my head, I'm wondering if I want something more than just a random hook-up thing with Partyboy. I can't figure out what it is that I want from PB. This obviously isn't a "booty call" type thing for me because I knew him before the hot make-out sessions started and there is obviously some sort of connection we have (obvious from him saying how he can completely be himself when he's around me, how much fun we have together, etc.). BUT, I don't want and am not ready for anything serious, but I think, key word being THINK, I would like us to hang out more. Here's the problem... When I hung out with PB for the first time a few Fridays ago, I got a text from a friend and PB asked if it was a booty call, I told him that, No, I don't have any of those YET. And I also told him earlier in the night that I'd be moving back to Florida in the next couple of months. That's probably not going to happen now. He had joked that I shouldn't move until at least August because that's when he'd be moving.
How do I figure out what I want? How do I figure out what he wants?
Some people say that it's obvious he likes me. Well, he hasn't exactly asked me out on a date. BUT, I did tell him when we first hung out that I was looking for a booty call. So I didn't exactly give him any sort of clue that I was interested because at the time I wasn't. BUT, later that night he asked if he could take me on a date. Yet, he still hasn't asked me on that date. Mixed messages? I think so.
I've had guys that were "booty calls" before and in those situations, we never hung out together at all during the course of the night. One of us would call the other at the end of the night to go to the other's place to hook-up. There was no hanging out, no going out, really no talking or getting to know the other person, it was pretty impersonal and kept strictly physical. Any talk was all small talk. In my mind, that's how a booty call should be.
PB and his band played a gig last night that I didn't go to see. Do I call or text PB today and ask how it went and suggest getting together some night? Should I just let things be and see what happens this weekend? Should I just let this be a hook-up and separate any feelings that arise?
So, advice? Help!
And let me just say, that I feel like a bit of an ass for feeling this way and sharing this with all of you. I don't know why, but I do. And my feelings on this could very well change, but right now, this is how I feel!
On a funny side note, PB's friend, James, added MJ as a friend on Facebook and then asked her out for drinks. She called me asking what to do because she had just gotten dumped a couple of weeks ago and is totally not ready and not interested in James as more than just a friend. She didn't want to be one of those girls who's saying, "I just broke up with my boyfriend and I'm not ready to date." So, I told her to just suggest going out together again in a group like last time, and he'll get the picture.
Okay, so here is where I need your help...
So, mainly because of friends like Crazy Girl, College Friend and MJ putting thoughts into my head, I'm wondering if I want something more than just a random hook-up thing with Partyboy. I can't figure out what it is that I want from PB. This obviously isn't a "booty call" type thing for me because I knew him before the hot make-out sessions started and there is obviously some sort of connection we have (obvious from him saying how he can completely be himself when he's around me, how much fun we have together, etc.). BUT, I don't want and am not ready for anything serious, but I think, key word being THINK, I would like us to hang out more. Here's the problem... When I hung out with PB for the first time a few Fridays ago, I got a text from a friend and PB asked if it was a booty call, I told him that, No, I don't have any of those YET. And I also told him earlier in the night that I'd be moving back to Florida in the next couple of months. That's probably not going to happen now. He had joked that I shouldn't move until at least August because that's when he'd be moving.
How do I figure out what I want? How do I figure out what he wants?
Some people say that it's obvious he likes me. Well, he hasn't exactly asked me out on a date. BUT, I did tell him when we first hung out that I was looking for a booty call. So I didn't exactly give him any sort of clue that I was interested because at the time I wasn't. BUT, later that night he asked if he could take me on a date. Yet, he still hasn't asked me on that date. Mixed messages? I think so.
I've had guys that were "booty calls" before and in those situations, we never hung out together at all during the course of the night. One of us would call the other at the end of the night to go to the other's place to hook-up. There was no hanging out, no going out, really no talking or getting to know the other person, it was pretty impersonal and kept strictly physical. Any talk was all small talk. In my mind, that's how a booty call should be.
PB and his band played a gig last night that I didn't go to see. Do I call or text PB today and ask how it went and suggest getting together some night? Should I just let things be and see what happens this weekend? Should I just let this be a hook-up and separate any feelings that arise?
So, advice? Help!
And let me just say, that I feel like a bit of an ass for feeling this way and sharing this with all of you. I don't know why, but I do. And my feelings on this could very well change, but right now, this is how I feel!
On a funny side note, PB's friend, James, added MJ as a friend on Facebook and then asked her out for drinks. She called me asking what to do because she had just gotten dumped a couple of weeks ago and is totally not ready and not interested in James as more than just a friend. She didn't want to be one of those girls who's saying, "I just broke up with my boyfriend and I'm not ready to date." So, I told her to just suggest going out together again in a group like last time, and he'll get the picture.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
The weight has been lifted
Well, that went a lot easier than I expected. Had I known it was going to go so easy, I wouldn't have been freaking out so much, my heart wouldn't have been pounding so hard I was scared it was going to pound right out of my chest and my palms wouldn't have been so sweaty.
Once I finally got the nerve up to call The Swimmer on Thursday night, we talked for a couple of minutes before he asked what was wrong. I told him that I had been thinking a lot about us and that as much as I care about him and love him, I just didn't think we were going to work out. He said something about how he thinks the distance thing sucks and that if I lived in LA, we would be forever. I didn't bother telling him that that isn't true, it wouldn't change anything, let him think that if he truly believes that and if he's just telling himself that to make himself feel better, let him. He said that he had been really worried about me because I seemed really "off" lately. I told him that it's because I've been stressed out thinking about "us" and it's really been bothering me, but I didn't want to say anything until I was absolutely positive because I didn't want to regret anything. He said he understood. He then commented on how it felt kind of weird all of a sudden and I said, "Yeah, because no one did anything wrong here so it's not like anyone is mad." He agreed and told me that he truly cares about me and still wants to be friends and that he is always there for me if I ever need anything, no matter what.
So, that was it. The whole conversation lasted about 8 minutes. The thing about really long-distance relationships is that aside from not talking to The Swimmer 5 times a day, nothing is different. Towards the end, talking to The Swimmer became more of a chore than anything, so I feel better now to not dread those phone calls. I only really had "real boyfriend" stuff - like doing things together, spending lazy weekends together, bedroom fun, going out to dinner, etc., - once every 4-6 weeks, so it doesn't feel like much has changed. It's kind of odd not feeling devastated after a breakup. It also helps that I know that The Swimmer isn't "The One" and that we didn't end on bad terms. That doesn't mean I want to be talking to him either though. He needs to find someone else to talk to about his stress and get obnoxious amounts of reassurance from, not me! Yay!! So glad I don't have to put up with that anymore.
I figure after a few weeks of "me" time or whenever I feel like it, I'll be ready to go back out into the dating world. Now, here's a question, even though I'm planning on moving to another state in April or May, it's still okay for me to date in the same city I'm living in now, right? If I decide to go the online dating route, do I restrict my searches to the city I live in now? Do I add the city I'm moving to as well? I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it! For now, I have this weekend to look forward to - Best College Friend is coming to visit and Crazy Girl and I are surprising her with a trip to the male strip club! Should be a very fun weekend!
Once I finally got the nerve up to call The Swimmer on Thursday night, we talked for a couple of minutes before he asked what was wrong. I told him that I had been thinking a lot about us and that as much as I care about him and love him, I just didn't think we were going to work out. He said something about how he thinks the distance thing sucks and that if I lived in LA, we would be forever. I didn't bother telling him that that isn't true, it wouldn't change anything, let him think that if he truly believes that and if he's just telling himself that to make himself feel better, let him. He said that he had been really worried about me because I seemed really "off" lately. I told him that it's because I've been stressed out thinking about "us" and it's really been bothering me, but I didn't want to say anything until I was absolutely positive because I didn't want to regret anything. He said he understood. He then commented on how it felt kind of weird all of a sudden and I said, "Yeah, because no one did anything wrong here so it's not like anyone is mad." He agreed and told me that he truly cares about me and still wants to be friends and that he is always there for me if I ever need anything, no matter what.
So, that was it. The whole conversation lasted about 8 minutes. The thing about really long-distance relationships is that aside from not talking to The Swimmer 5 times a day, nothing is different. Towards the end, talking to The Swimmer became more of a chore than anything, so I feel better now to not dread those phone calls. I only really had "real boyfriend" stuff - like doing things together, spending lazy weekends together, bedroom fun, going out to dinner, etc., - once every 4-6 weeks, so it doesn't feel like much has changed. It's kind of odd not feeling devastated after a breakup. It also helps that I know that The Swimmer isn't "The One" and that we didn't end on bad terms. That doesn't mean I want to be talking to him either though. He needs to find someone else to talk to about his stress and get obnoxious amounts of reassurance from, not me! Yay!! So glad I don't have to put up with that anymore.
I figure after a few weeks of "me" time or whenever I feel like it, I'll be ready to go back out into the dating world. Now, here's a question, even though I'm planning on moving to another state in April or May, it's still okay for me to date in the same city I'm living in now, right? If I decide to go the online dating route, do I restrict my searches to the city I live in now? Do I add the city I'm moving to as well? I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it! For now, I have this weekend to look forward to - Best College Friend is coming to visit and Crazy Girl and I are surprising her with a trip to the male strip club! Should be a very fun weekend!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Life Really Is a Soap Opera!
So, I guess soap operas sometimes aren't that far off from real life. But then again, I guess it depends on the soap opera. . . Sorry for my lack of posting recently, I've just been stressed out with family drama and a lot of work drama. I won't go into the family drama here, but it's nothing horrible, it's just stuff that's really frustrating and stuff that doesn't concern me directly, but I know I'll be hearing a lot about it soon and even though I've tried to help, my advice was not taken. So... that's that.
As far as work drama... From the way it seems now, it looks like I might be putting my loft on the market very very soon. Success at my job depends a lot on the geography I am assigned to work. Earlier this year, my geography changed and it now sucks. A lot. And, on top of that, my manager is really laidback. Which is great for the most part, but when you want the manager to really do something for you, like promote you or try to get goals changed for you because your geography sucks, it doesn't happen because he's so laidback. So, this means that in order for me to get a new geography and a new manager, I have to move. So.............. the big question is where do I move to?
I could possibly move to South Florida where I would be guaranteed a motivated manager who wouldn't micromanage me, but who would be proactive in getting things done and the geography I would work would be much better than the one I am currently working in. But, I'm not a fan of South Florida. I grew up down there and the people aren't very nice, I don't like the weather, and while I still have family down there, none of my friends live down there anymore. And yes, I know it's easy to make new friends, but still. Also, if I move to South Florida, what about The Swimmer? I'm not sure if he would move to South Florida and this really frustrates me. I feel like he isn't open to living anywhere but LA. Not even for a year. When I ask him about it, I usually get one of two answers, either "Maybe" or "It's too much to think about right now." The last one REALLY ticks me off and makes me want to scream and be like, "You think you're stressed out right now? Try being in my shoes! You couldn't handle it!"
Or, do I move to LA? Work-wise, nothing is guaranteed. I don't know the manager in LA and as far as the geography I would be working, I don't know if it would be better than it is here. I'm going to speak with one of my old managers this week and see if he knows about anything out in LA and if he doesn't, if he knows how to find out about the managers and geography. When it comes to The Swimmer, things are still going great, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to move in with him yet. One of my personal requirements for me moving in with him was that he would have to be seeing a therapist to deal with his issues with his father and all that stuff. That hasn't happened yet and I don't feel like him and I could be successful together like that until he starts working on his issues. I mean, he's human and he has issues, just like we all do, but he needs to be working on resolving some of those issues. I know The Swimmer and I don't have to move in together if I move out to LA, but that would be my main reason for moving to LA and I also don't think I can afford a nice one bedroom apartment in a good area alone. All I seem to be able to find online are 1 bedroom apartments for about $2000 a month. And moving in together because that's the only way it would be affordable is not a reason to move in together.
So, that's just a little bit of the stress I've been dealing with. I know I don't need to decide right this second where to move to, but it just makes it that much more stressful to know you're going to have to move and not know where you're going to move to. Oy, I really need a vacation. I'm going to LA this weekend to visit The Swimmer, but I have so much more crap to deal with this week before I go that I can't even look forward to the weekend yet.
UPDATED:
I am really just so stressed out. I'm trying to not let stuff get to me so much, but I just can't stop it. What really makes me sad is that I'm totally on edge constantly. The Swimmer will say something and I'll come so close to losing it on him and luckily, I'm able to stop myself, but it's really hard. Same thing with my Mom, she'll say something and I'll come close to snapping. I really need to get in to see The Professional, but I have someone working with me tomorrow and possibly Thursday before I go to LA. This blows.
As far as work drama... From the way it seems now, it looks like I might be putting my loft on the market very very soon. Success at my job depends a lot on the geography I am assigned to work. Earlier this year, my geography changed and it now sucks. A lot. And, on top of that, my manager is really laidback. Which is great for the most part, but when you want the manager to really do something for you, like promote you or try to get goals changed for you because your geography sucks, it doesn't happen because he's so laidback. So, this means that in order for me to get a new geography and a new manager, I have to move. So.............. the big question is where do I move to?
I could possibly move to South Florida where I would be guaranteed a motivated manager who wouldn't micromanage me, but who would be proactive in getting things done and the geography I would work would be much better than the one I am currently working in. But, I'm not a fan of South Florida. I grew up down there and the people aren't very nice, I don't like the weather, and while I still have family down there, none of my friends live down there anymore. And yes, I know it's easy to make new friends, but still. Also, if I move to South Florida, what about The Swimmer? I'm not sure if he would move to South Florida and this really frustrates me. I feel like he isn't open to living anywhere but LA. Not even for a year. When I ask him about it, I usually get one of two answers, either "Maybe" or "It's too much to think about right now." The last one REALLY ticks me off and makes me want to scream and be like, "You think you're stressed out right now? Try being in my shoes! You couldn't handle it!"
Or, do I move to LA? Work-wise, nothing is guaranteed. I don't know the manager in LA and as far as the geography I would be working, I don't know if it would be better than it is here. I'm going to speak with one of my old managers this week and see if he knows about anything out in LA and if he doesn't, if he knows how to find out about the managers and geography. When it comes to The Swimmer, things are still going great, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to move in with him yet. One of my personal requirements for me moving in with him was that he would have to be seeing a therapist to deal with his issues with his father and all that stuff. That hasn't happened yet and I don't feel like him and I could be successful together like that until he starts working on his issues. I mean, he's human and he has issues, just like we all do, but he needs to be working on resolving some of those issues. I know The Swimmer and I don't have to move in together if I move out to LA, but that would be my main reason for moving to LA and I also don't think I can afford a nice one bedroom apartment in a good area alone. All I seem to be able to find online are 1 bedroom apartments for about $2000 a month. And moving in together because that's the only way it would be affordable is not a reason to move in together.
So, that's just a little bit of the stress I've been dealing with. I know I don't need to decide right this second where to move to, but it just makes it that much more stressful to know you're going to have to move and not know where you're going to move to. Oy, I really need a vacation. I'm going to LA this weekend to visit The Swimmer, but I have so much more crap to deal with this week before I go that I can't even look forward to the weekend yet.
UPDATED:
I am really just so stressed out. I'm trying to not let stuff get to me so much, but I just can't stop it. What really makes me sad is that I'm totally on edge constantly. The Swimmer will say something and I'll come so close to losing it on him and luckily, I'm able to stop myself, but it's really hard. Same thing with my Mom, she'll say something and I'll come close to snapping. I really need to get in to see The Professional, but I have someone working with me tomorrow and possibly Thursday before I go to LA. This blows.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Boring, I know
Well, since The Swimmer has been absolutely impossible to shop for a birthday present for, I'm going what I think is the boring route. He's getting a book I am positive he will like and he's getting a new cell phone. So boring, but he's one of those guys that has everything already. Has nice wallets, watches, clothes, an iPod, iPod accessories, etc. So, he gets a new cell phone. And damn it, he's going to like it! LOL
So I leave for LA tomorrow evening. I changed my flight from a 5:30pm flight to an 8:30pm flight for the sake of my sanity. Had a very weird thing happen yesterday health-wise, so I'm going to see my neurosurgeon and have an MRI tomorrow morning to make sure it's okay for me to travel. Nothing to worry about, but better safe than sorry, you know? I want to make sure I am able to fully enjoy my week of vacation in LA with The Swimmer.
It will be the first time The Swimmer and I will spend more than just Thursday night to Monday night together, so hopefully things will continue to go as smoothly as they usually do between us.
Here's a little question for everyone that my best college friend and I were discussing. . . Does the guy always have to say the "L" word first? What if he already shows it in his actions? I'm curious to see what those in the "blogosphere" have to say about this!
I'll be bringing my laptop with me on this trip, so if I don't get the chance to update before I leave tomorrow evening, there will be an update while I'm in LA. (I have given up on trying to use a portable DVD player to watch a movie on this flight. The volume never goes loud enough to cover the sound of the plane and I get pissed. So my trusty laptop is coming with!)
So I leave for LA tomorrow evening. I changed my flight from a 5:30pm flight to an 8:30pm flight for the sake of my sanity. Had a very weird thing happen yesterday health-wise, so I'm going to see my neurosurgeon and have an MRI tomorrow morning to make sure it's okay for me to travel. Nothing to worry about, but better safe than sorry, you know? I want to make sure I am able to fully enjoy my week of vacation in LA with The Swimmer.
It will be the first time The Swimmer and I will spend more than just Thursday night to Monday night together, so hopefully things will continue to go as smoothly as they usually do between us.
Here's a little question for everyone that my best college friend and I were discussing. . . Does the guy always have to say the "L" word first? What if he already shows it in his actions? I'm curious to see what those in the "blogosphere" have to say about this!
I'll be bringing my laptop with me on this trip, so if I don't get the chance to update before I leave tomorrow evening, there will be an update while I'm in LA. (I have given up on trying to use a portable DVD player to watch a movie on this flight. The volume never goes loud enough to cover the sound of the plane and I get pissed. So my trusty laptop is coming with!)
Thursday, July 5, 2007
More suggestions?
Okay, a final plea! Any other suggestions for a birthday gift for the Swimmer?
Also, can anyone suggest a good movie for me to watch on the plane ride to LA? Looking for a romantic comedy, comedy or light drama! I'm sitting in an emergency exit row seat, so I won't be able to watch the movie they are playing (Premonition), which I want to see, but I'd rather have the comfortable seat! So, any suggestions? I'm tempted to rewatch "Because I Said So" which I thought was really cute. The last trip, I watched "Center Stage" for like the 80th time. I should be getting "Notes On A Scandal" through Netflix before the trip, but I don't know if I really want to watch such an intense movie on the plane.
Taking suggestions!
Also, can anyone suggest a good movie for me to watch on the plane ride to LA? Looking for a romantic comedy, comedy or light drama! I'm sitting in an emergency exit row seat, so I won't be able to watch the movie they are playing (Premonition), which I want to see, but I'd rather have the comfortable seat! So, any suggestions? I'm tempted to rewatch "Because I Said So" which I thought was really cute. The last trip, I watched "Center Stage" for like the 80th time. I should be getting "Notes On A Scandal" through Netflix before the trip, but I don't know if I really want to watch such an intense movie on the plane.
Taking suggestions!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Long Overdue. . .
So I know an update is long overdue. Things have just been very crazy and busy over the past week. Overall, my trip to LA to visit The Swimmer was great.
Got in early Thursday evening and pretty much just relaxed. Friday, The Swimmer worked all day and I relaxed. The Swimmer didn't say anything since I got to LA about meeting his family, so I was wondering if he didn't want that anymore. I didn't say anything though and figured I would just keep quiet until mid-way through dinner. So, The Swimmer got back from work, we hung out for a bit and then went for sushi. He said that we'd eat dinner and then go back to his place and watch a movie. So I asked if he still wanted to stop by his Grandma's. He said, Yes, of course, that he hadn't said anything because he didn't want me to get too nervous. So, after dinner we stopped by hig Grandma's. She is this adorable little Israeli old lady. I couldn't understand a lot of what she said because she seemed to have a pretty thick accent, but I heard her say how beautiful I am and asked me when I'm moving to LA. She was so cute. We then went next door to his Mom's and surprised her. We ended up hanging out there for about an hour and a half and I also met his Mom's fiance. The Swimmer even brought up how inexpensive real estate is where I live compared to LA and his Mom kept asking more about that. I was shocked, but definitely pleased he brought that up. After that, we just went back to his place and watched a movie.
We both woke up at about 4am to go pee, but I had a sudden, huge feeling of nausea. I told The Swimmer and he tried to make me feel better, but it just got worse. I went to the bathroom and called my Mom to try to talk me down. My cell phone died after a little bit and The Swimmer came to sit with me. After about an hour and fifteen minutes, I was finally able to take an Ativan to go to sleep. Not exactly how I wanted to start off the weekend. The Swimmer told me the next day that he had been feeling a bit queasy too, but didn't want to say anything because he knew it would freak me out.
Saturday night, we went to see The Police. It was definitely quite an experience and so much fun. Sunday, we relaxed and decided to go see a movie. Before we left for the theater, I got paranoid that I was getting a lovely UTI, so I thought it would be a great idea to drink 3 bottles of water and then another bottle when we got to the theater. Smart, huh? Such a blonde moment on my part! I had to get up 4 times during the movie to run to the bathroom.
Monday, The Swimmer went to work, so I slept in late and was quite a bum all day, but I liked it! The Swimmer came home, we went to grab take out and then spent some extra "quality time" together before going to the airport. Fantastic "quality time" I might add! On the way to the airport, I started getting scared that I was going to have a panic attack. Sure enough, I got one. The ride was very bumpy, the airport was the most chaotic I had ever seen it and I didn't want to have another one since I had had one Friday night. After checking it, I told The Swimmer that he could leave and that there was nothing he could do to calm me down from this panic attack. He wasn't happy about it, but I wasn't going to hear otherwise. I trekked to the security line and after making it through, I went to my crowded, noisy gate. I managed to take an Ativan, but it couldn't start working fast enough. As my luck would have it, my flight was delayed. The Swimmer called to check on me and I told him I would call him back in a bit. I called my Mom and she helped calm me down a bit. I just knew that as soon as I got on the plane, I would feel better. Talked to the Swimmer again who was trying his hardest to make me feel better. As soon as I got on the plane, I felt better within 10 minutes.
Saw The Professional today to try to get to the bottom of the panic attacks. When I described what happened in the middle of the night for that first attack, she said that it sounds like it wasn't a panic attack, it was definitely from dinner. She said that it was amazing and such a good thing that even when I thought I was going to throw up, I wanted The Swimmer there to comfort me. This is HUGE for me. To feel close enough and comfortable enough with a guy to feel like I wanted him there at that moment. Normally, in a situation like that, I would have locked the bathroom door and not let him in. As far as the panic attack on Monday night, that was from a feeling that I was only "allowed" or "alotted" a certain number of panic attacks in front of him and after that amount, it's not allowed. This is only from past experience and not from anything or anyway The Swimmer has made me feel. So, after seeing The Professional today, I talked to him and told him this. He reassured me that it doesn't matter to him how many panic attacks I have, that he just doesn't like it when I'm upset and that he wants to do everything he can to help me in that situation. He's so sweet! Thankfully, I see The Professional again once more before I leave for LA in a week.
So, any suggestions on birthday presents for The Swimmer? I need to find out if he has business cards. If he does, I'll get him a business card case with his initials on it and a business card holder for his desk. If not, I don't know what to get him. He has plenty of nice clothes, watches, wallets, etc.
Got in early Thursday evening and pretty much just relaxed. Friday, The Swimmer worked all day and I relaxed. The Swimmer didn't say anything since I got to LA about meeting his family, so I was wondering if he didn't want that anymore. I didn't say anything though and figured I would just keep quiet until mid-way through dinner. So, The Swimmer got back from work, we hung out for a bit and then went for sushi. He said that we'd eat dinner and then go back to his place and watch a movie. So I asked if he still wanted to stop by his Grandma's. He said, Yes, of course, that he hadn't said anything because he didn't want me to get too nervous. So, after dinner we stopped by hig Grandma's. She is this adorable little Israeli old lady. I couldn't understand a lot of what she said because she seemed to have a pretty thick accent, but I heard her say how beautiful I am and asked me when I'm moving to LA. She was so cute. We then went next door to his Mom's and surprised her. We ended up hanging out there for about an hour and a half and I also met his Mom's fiance. The Swimmer even brought up how inexpensive real estate is where I live compared to LA and his Mom kept asking more about that. I was shocked, but definitely pleased he brought that up. After that, we just went back to his place and watched a movie.
We both woke up at about 4am to go pee, but I had a sudden, huge feeling of nausea. I told The Swimmer and he tried to make me feel better, but it just got worse. I went to the bathroom and called my Mom to try to talk me down. My cell phone died after a little bit and The Swimmer came to sit with me. After about an hour and fifteen minutes, I was finally able to take an Ativan to go to sleep. Not exactly how I wanted to start off the weekend. The Swimmer told me the next day that he had been feeling a bit queasy too, but didn't want to say anything because he knew it would freak me out.
Saturday night, we went to see The Police. It was definitely quite an experience and so much fun. Sunday, we relaxed and decided to go see a movie. Before we left for the theater, I got paranoid that I was getting a lovely UTI, so I thought it would be a great idea to drink 3 bottles of water and then another bottle when we got to the theater. Smart, huh? Such a blonde moment on my part! I had to get up 4 times during the movie to run to the bathroom.
Monday, The Swimmer went to work, so I slept in late and was quite a bum all day, but I liked it! The Swimmer came home, we went to grab take out and then spent some extra "quality time" together before going to the airport. Fantastic "quality time" I might add! On the way to the airport, I started getting scared that I was going to have a panic attack. Sure enough, I got one. The ride was very bumpy, the airport was the most chaotic I had ever seen it and I didn't want to have another one since I had had one Friday night. After checking it, I told The Swimmer that he could leave and that there was nothing he could do to calm me down from this panic attack. He wasn't happy about it, but I wasn't going to hear otherwise. I trekked to the security line and after making it through, I went to my crowded, noisy gate. I managed to take an Ativan, but it couldn't start working fast enough. As my luck would have it, my flight was delayed. The Swimmer called to check on me and I told him I would call him back in a bit. I called my Mom and she helped calm me down a bit. I just knew that as soon as I got on the plane, I would feel better. Talked to the Swimmer again who was trying his hardest to make me feel better. As soon as I got on the plane, I felt better within 10 minutes.
Saw The Professional today to try to get to the bottom of the panic attacks. When I described what happened in the middle of the night for that first attack, she said that it sounds like it wasn't a panic attack, it was definitely from dinner. She said that it was amazing and such a good thing that even when I thought I was going to throw up, I wanted The Swimmer there to comfort me. This is HUGE for me. To feel close enough and comfortable enough with a guy to feel like I wanted him there at that moment. Normally, in a situation like that, I would have locked the bathroom door and not let him in. As far as the panic attack on Monday night, that was from a feeling that I was only "allowed" or "alotted" a certain number of panic attacks in front of him and after that amount, it's not allowed. This is only from past experience and not from anything or anyway The Swimmer has made me feel. So, after seeing The Professional today, I talked to him and told him this. He reassured me that it doesn't matter to him how many panic attacks I have, that he just doesn't like it when I'm upset and that he wants to do everything he can to help me in that situation. He's so sweet! Thankfully, I see The Professional again once more before I leave for LA in a week.
So, any suggestions on birthday presents for The Swimmer? I need to find out if he has business cards. If he does, I'll get him a business card case with his initials on it and a business card holder for his desk. If not, I don't know what to get him. He has plenty of nice clothes, watches, wallets, etc.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Suggestions?
Okay, I know I've been gone for a while, but I'm still too tired to give an update and I promise to do that tomorrow. But, I have a question for everyone:
The Swimmer's birthday is in a couple of weeks and I still have no clue what to get him. He has plenty of clothes, cologne, movies, music, etc. Can't find a good concert to get him tickets to and he already gets football and basketball tickets from work. Any ideas? This is impossible! I don't want to spend too much money, not more than $150, since we already spend so much money flying to see each other. Every gift I can think of, when I think if he got me a similar gift, I would be pissed. Example: I can think of a book he would like, but if he got me a book for my birthday, I'd be so pissed.
I'm already planning on decorating his room with birthday decorations while he's at work on his actual birthday, but I need to think of a gift. HELP!
The Swimmer's birthday is in a couple of weeks and I still have no clue what to get him. He has plenty of clothes, cologne, movies, music, etc. Can't find a good concert to get him tickets to and he already gets football and basketball tickets from work. Any ideas? This is impossible! I don't want to spend too much money, not more than $150, since we already spend so much money flying to see each other. Every gift I can think of, when I think if he got me a similar gift, I would be pissed. Example: I can think of a book he would like, but if he got me a book for my birthday, I'd be so pissed.
I'm already planning on decorating his room with birthday decorations while he's at work on his actual birthday, but I need to think of a gift. HELP!
Monday, June 18, 2007
Questions. . .
Well, I had a delightful weekend playing the Wii and relaxing. I managed to restrain myself from playing too much, for fear that I would get "Wiiitis." Yes, that is a real thing.
Anyways, off to LA in just a couple of days to see The Swimmer and I can't wait. I just hope that my flare up of my stomach condition calms down before then because it would not be fun traveling on the stomach I have had for the past few days. Positive thinking though and hopefully I will be all better before Thursday. And. . . it looks like I will be meeting his family some time this weekend. His grandma and mother ask about me all the time and they want to meet me, so it will be happening. Luckily I don't think it will be a full-on sit down dinner with them, so that definitely alleviates a lot of the pressure. I'm sure I'll be nervous anyways just because I want to make a good impression since he is pretty close with them and I'm sure their opinion of me will mean a lot to him. SO.... that is just one of the things this weekend holds for me!
I will be seeing The Professional on Wednesday, so that will be good for before I go to LA. I'm sure The Professional will be happy to hear that when I told The Swimmer I had a panic attack last week and I called my Mom, he told me that I can also call him too if I wanted to. And, hearing that my stomach thing is flaring up, he told me that he wishes he were here so he could take care of me, snuggle me and make me tea and toast so I'll feel better. He's so sweet! I think he's a keeper! OH! AND! He also brought up the whole, "How many kids do you want" question today. I was shocked and pleased that I didn't have to bring that up. He asked it by saying if I would be able to deal with the morning sickness and all with pregnancy and when I laughed about it, he said something about having five children, I was like, "What?!" He said he was just kidding and asked how many kids I want. I told him one or two and asked him how many he wants and he said two or three. If he had been serious about five, that definitely would have warranted a serious discussion about how serious he is about that, because I am certainly not going to bear five children, no thank you! And trust me, even knowing he wants two or three, there will still be much discussion (not right now though) about how he plans on raising those kids, etc. Because I will certainly not be a little housewife spending all of my time with the kids, it MUST be 50/50 and a total partnership. Anyways, that's all for now, I'm exhausted!
Anyways, off to LA in just a couple of days to see The Swimmer and I can't wait. I just hope that my flare up of my stomach condition calms down before then because it would not be fun traveling on the stomach I have had for the past few days. Positive thinking though and hopefully I will be all better before Thursday. And. . . it looks like I will be meeting his family some time this weekend. His grandma and mother ask about me all the time and they want to meet me, so it will be happening. Luckily I don't think it will be a full-on sit down dinner with them, so that definitely alleviates a lot of the pressure. I'm sure I'll be nervous anyways just because I want to make a good impression since he is pretty close with them and I'm sure their opinion of me will mean a lot to him. SO.... that is just one of the things this weekend holds for me!
I will be seeing The Professional on Wednesday, so that will be good for before I go to LA. I'm sure The Professional will be happy to hear that when I told The Swimmer I had a panic attack last week and I called my Mom, he told me that I can also call him too if I wanted to. And, hearing that my stomach thing is flaring up, he told me that he wishes he were here so he could take care of me, snuggle me and make me tea and toast so I'll feel better. He's so sweet! I think he's a keeper! OH! AND! He also brought up the whole, "How many kids do you want" question today. I was shocked and pleased that I didn't have to bring that up. He asked it by saying if I would be able to deal with the morning sickness and all with pregnancy and when I laughed about it, he said something about having five children, I was like, "What?!" He said he was just kidding and asked how many kids I want. I told him one or two and asked him how many he wants and he said two or three. If he had been serious about five, that definitely would have warranted a serious discussion about how serious he is about that, because I am certainly not going to bear five children, no thank you! And trust me, even knowing he wants two or three, there will still be much discussion (not right now though) about how he plans on raising those kids, etc. Because I will certainly not be a little housewife spending all of my time with the kids, it MUST be 50/50 and a total partnership. Anyways, that's all for now, I'm exhausted!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Delayed...
Yeah, I know in my last post I said I would write more the next day, but the week just passed by so quickly and now it's the weekend. Nothing really exciting to share today. The Swimmer got sick on Thursday, so he's been whining like a baby, but it's really cute. I wish I lived in LA so that I could have been there to take care of him. He's been so good at taking care of me - during the massive panic attack I had and then again when I got the UTI. I saw my "woman" doctor yesterday and she wants me to start taking a cranberry supplement now to see if that helps prevent UTIs. If that doesn't work, then I might have to start taking preventative antibiotics. Yuck. Oh well. So let's just hope that the cranberry supplement works!
I've been really tired all week for no apparent reason, so I'm just taking it easy this weekend, as usual! Next weekend, my brother will be coming to stay with me. One of his childhood friends lives in the same city as me and is getting married. So, that pretty much means I'll be shuttling him around, but that's fine. The weekend after, I will be back in LA, yay!!
I know I've said this before, but I really wish I could win the lottery. I wouldn't tell anyone except my Mom and I would immediately pick up and move to LA so that I could be with The Swimmer. I really hate not being able to be with him all the time, but I just need to remind myself that we'll be together again in 2 weeks and then again on Memorial Day weekend. I'll be going back to LA a couple of weekends after that for The Police concert and then a few weekends later again for The Swimmer's birthday. And I also need to remind myself that The Swimmer himself said that if our relationship continues on this track, by the end of the year, we'll either be talking about me moving out there, or I will be moving out there.
Anyways, enough of that, I'm so superstitious that I'm scared to talk about stuff too much for fear that I'll jinx everything. I know, I know, I'm ridiculous!
I've been really tired all week for no apparent reason, so I'm just taking it easy this weekend, as usual! Next weekend, my brother will be coming to stay with me. One of his childhood friends lives in the same city as me and is getting married. So, that pretty much means I'll be shuttling him around, but that's fine. The weekend after, I will be back in LA, yay!!
I know I've said this before, but I really wish I could win the lottery. I wouldn't tell anyone except my Mom and I would immediately pick up and move to LA so that I could be with The Swimmer. I really hate not being able to be with him all the time, but I just need to remind myself that we'll be together again in 2 weeks and then again on Memorial Day weekend. I'll be going back to LA a couple of weekends after that for The Police concert and then a few weekends later again for The Swimmer's birthday. And I also need to remind myself that The Swimmer himself said that if our relationship continues on this track, by the end of the year, we'll either be talking about me moving out there, or I will be moving out there.
Anyways, enough of that, I'm so superstitious that I'm scared to talk about stuff too much for fear that I'll jinx everything. I know, I know, I'm ridiculous!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Work and Stuff
I've had a somewhat relaxing weekend. Didn't do a whole lot except run a bunch of errands, but relaxed at night and stayed in like the old lady that I am. The Swimmer got the job he was interviewing for, so he was beyond excited. He kept repeating the same stories over and over again, but he was so excited I didn't have the heart to tell him he'd already told me the stories many times before. He realized it last night and apologized, but I told him no need to, he's excited and I think it's cute and at least he realized he had told me the stories many times, otherwise I would have been worried.
Tomorrow I leave for Dallas for a work meeting until Thursday evening. I'm not excited about the work meeting, but at least it'll make time fly by. I just hate having to sit in meetings in a small room all day, from 8am until 5pm, I'm not built for that! That's why I have the job I have, so I can start my day when I want and end it when I want. But we only have these meetings maybe three times a year, so I can't complain too much. There's just too much hype and chaos at the meetings and that's just not my style, I'm too laidback for all that commotion. I hope the food doesn't suck at this meeting as much as it has in the past. That's the worst, not only are you stuck in these meetings all day, but you're also hungry because the food was gross, so all you ate was a roll and a cookie for lunch. I bring granola bars and other snacks, but it doesn't make up for no real food. I guess that's all you can expect when the hotel is feeding 1500 people. Oh well, I'm a food snob and I can't help it!
Besides that, not much else going on, my Mom has been out of the country visiting relatives since my aunt is very sick, so it's been weird not talking to her as much as usual. I'm used to speaking with my Mom at least twice a day for at least a half hour, so only talking to her for 5 minutes every other day or so sucks. She'll be back soon though, so it'll be back to normal in no time.
I'm excited for my visit to LA to see The Swimmer in less than 2 weeks. It'll be cool to see him in his own surroundings, see his apartment and his neighborhood. I still wish he was coming to visit me instead, but it's only fair and again, it'll be nice to see where he lives. It's just different than being in the comfort of your own home. Random question: Is anyone else as freaked out about going to the bathroom (#2) when your significant other is in the other room as I am? I'm always scared that that will gross a guy out or something even though everybody does it.
Anyways, gotta finish laundry and pack for my trip!
Tomorrow I leave for Dallas for a work meeting until Thursday evening. I'm not excited about the work meeting, but at least it'll make time fly by. I just hate having to sit in meetings in a small room all day, from 8am until 5pm, I'm not built for that! That's why I have the job I have, so I can start my day when I want and end it when I want. But we only have these meetings maybe three times a year, so I can't complain too much. There's just too much hype and chaos at the meetings and that's just not my style, I'm too laidback for all that commotion. I hope the food doesn't suck at this meeting as much as it has in the past. That's the worst, not only are you stuck in these meetings all day, but you're also hungry because the food was gross, so all you ate was a roll and a cookie for lunch. I bring granola bars and other snacks, but it doesn't make up for no real food. I guess that's all you can expect when the hotel is feeding 1500 people. Oh well, I'm a food snob and I can't help it!
Besides that, not much else going on, my Mom has been out of the country visiting relatives since my aunt is very sick, so it's been weird not talking to her as much as usual. I'm used to speaking with my Mom at least twice a day for at least a half hour, so only talking to her for 5 minutes every other day or so sucks. She'll be back soon though, so it'll be back to normal in no time.
I'm excited for my visit to LA to see The Swimmer in less than 2 weeks. It'll be cool to see him in his own surroundings, see his apartment and his neighborhood. I still wish he was coming to visit me instead, but it's only fair and again, it'll be nice to see where he lives. It's just different than being in the comfort of your own home. Random question: Is anyone else as freaked out about going to the bathroom (#2) when your significant other is in the other room as I am? I'm always scared that that will gross a guy out or something even though everybody does it.
Anyways, gotta finish laundry and pack for my trip!
Friday, February 2, 2007
A Question. . .
Okay, so here's a question for everyone. . .
What does it mean to say that you are falling for someone?
What does it mean to say that you are falling for someone?
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