This taking things slow business with The New Guy is definitely a challenge for me. A good one, but it's still a challenge. It's definitely scary and I'm not sure if I can explain why, but I'll try.
Although I know he likes me, the whole act of actually taking things slow doesn't necessarily obviously convey that on a physical level. I'm laughing as I type because I realize that I sound a bit ridiculous. I guess I'm just used to throwing all caution to the wind and diving head first into relationships, so I'm used to more constant physical/sexual attention for validation. Make sense? I need to realize that it's an amazing thing that this guy not only thinks I'm hot, but he wants to really get to know me first. He wants to see what is underneath the beauty. And I think he really likes what he's getting to know.
I was thinking about this yesterday. On Friday, it will have been a month since The New Guy and I first met. Normally, by now I would have slept with him and we would have had much more than just one or two hot make-out sessions. (This doesn't happen very often. I've only had 3 serious boyfriends in my life!) Is it more scary to me because I feel almost like I'm almost more emotionally invested than I would have normally been? In the past, have I not been getting as close to men on an emotional level so soon because we get too caught up in the physical aspect of the developing relationship?
Wow. I feel like I'm having a little session with The Professional here!
This is just so different from how I've done things in the past. What a freaking challenge this is. It's such a challenge because I'm always wondering when I'm going to see him, what's going to happen when we see each other, does he really like me as much as I like him? I know I need to just go with the flow, but I can be a spaz when I'm into someone, so going with the flow isn't that easy. Especially in a situation like this, where things are a little extra scary, in a good way of course, my brain goes a bit on overdrive.
Does any part of what I said above make sense?
4 comments:
It's definitely scary as our brain is wired to use our past experiences to form patterns. We use these patterns to be able to recognize and classify behaviors of those around us. So when something is completed not what you are used to, your brain is working extra hard to figure it out! But it's nice to have a different pattern throw in to keep things spicy...plus maybe its a sign that this is different in a positive way!
So yes definitely normal what you are feeling! Keep letting yourself go with the flow --it sounds extremely promising here!!
Excuse the rambling :)
I totally know how you feel! My boyfriend made me wait when we first started dating because he thought that I was someone he could really fall for. It drove me nuts at the time wondering if he really liked me as much as he said, but it was worth it in the end!
I know what you mean about putting yourself out there emotionally too, but just go with it! Its the sign of a great guy if he is willing to give up hot sex and put the possibility of a great relationship first!
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! I'm truly hoping that this is a sign of good things, so far he definitely seems worth this challenge!
Waiting is a big deal. Acknowledging that this relationship may be different than your past relationships is absolutely huge. You're making an adult concious effort. I am so hoping this works out well!!
Post a Comment