Insight

The New Guy called me during the day on Wednesday for no reason, just to chat, which was nice. I really enjoy our conversations, it's so cool to talk to someone and have time just pass by and all of a sudden you look at the clock and 45 minutes has gone by without you realizing it. He was very excited about how well things are going with the new album. He text messaged me later on in the night to invite me out with him and his friend who is in from out of town to go to a club for 80's night on Thursday night. I told him I was definitely up for it.

Thursday night, I met up with New Guy and his friend for some 80's music and dancing. We had a ton of fun. New Guy even danced, which was so cute, the boy can move! His friend was drunk, so he wasn't getting the hint when New Guy would say something like, "(SingleGirl) and I are going to go check out the other room, stay here, we'll be back." His friend would come with us. He just wouldn't get the hint that we were trying to sneak off to be alone for a few minutes. It's okay though, we snuck a quick makeout while his friend went to the bathroom. New Guy held my hand for part of the night and then when we were on the dance floor, we would face each other and he would have his arm around my back so he could pull me close. He would whisper things in my ear too, like how much he wants me and wishes we could go back to my place and how hot I look. We had a lot of fun dancing though, you can't beat 80's music!

Yesterday I had a great session with The Professional. I told her how I can't stop over-analyzing everything when it comes to The New Guy and how when I'm with him, I'm fine, but otherwise, I drive myself crazy analyzing things. Basically it all comes down to my past - my past with my father. In a nutshell, when it comes to guys, I over-analyze the situation as a way to prepare myself for "the other shoe to drop," even though the guy has given me no reason whatsoever to think that way. It's just what I know because of what my father did - basically I don't trust him, he did some pretty awful things to my Mother and in turn me, so it's hard for me to trust that a guy won't leave.

The Professional told me that when I find myself starting to over-analyze things, I need to stop myself and remind myself that I'm doing it because I'm scared. Scared of being vulnerable and scared of trusting. Even though The New Guy hasn't given me any reason to not trust him, it's hard for me to feel like he won't hurt me. Good thing is that through all of the work I've been doing with The Professional, I'm getting better at letting myself be more vulnerable and trusting of men. I've realized that there are guys out there that are trustworthy and I can't put the things that my father has done on to the other men I have relationships with. If I do that, I will never have a strong and healthy relationship. I think that the way I'm doing things with The New Guy (taking it slow) is a much healthier way of doing things though and The Professional agrees. She said that The New Guy sounds much more mature than the other guys I've dated and it sounds like we're connecting on more levels too. So I guess we'll see!

Last night I had a girl's night with some friends. We just went out to dinner at a nice restaurant and had good conversation. I was home and in bed by 11pm! Not sure when I'll see The New Guy again. I think his friend from out of town leaves today or tomorrow and I know they are probably in the studio today. So I'll let him call me, I don't want to interrupt any creative moments today!