Tuesday, May 29, 2007

How the weekend flies. . .

It took me so long this morning to get out of bed. I was just still sad that The Swimmer went back to LA last night. I woke up a few times during the night sleeping on my left side (I usually sleep on my right side), the side I sleep on when I'm with The Swimmer, and I got so sad because he wasn't there. We had another fantastic weekend together and will have to wait another 3 weeks to be together again. Long distance relationships really are hard, but both The Swimmer and I think what we have is worth it.

I brought up the idea of me moving out to LA again and he acted a little freaked out which made me feel insecure. I told him that he was acting all freaked out and he apologized and told me that I caught him off-guard. I just told him that for both of our sake's (if that makes sense, but you get the picture) we both need an endpoint to the long-distance part of our relationship and I just wanted to talk about what that would entail. I told him how back in February, he brought this up and said he didn't want to be long-distance for more than a year and I had agreed. He just said how he agrees and sees my point and wanted time to really think about it in detail. I told him how the way he was acting made me feel insecure. This made him really sad and he told me that I have nothing to worry about, that he cares about me so much and doesn't want me to ever feel insecure about the way he feels about me and that he wants to make sure that we do everything right. He said that it's a big risk for me to move out to LA and he's worried that I'll be sick of him after a month. I told him that there is a risk in everything and you can't live life always worrying about the risk and that we know each other better than a lot of couples given that we've known each other for 5 years and we've been in a relationship for almost 5 months and we talk on the phone at least 3 or 4 times a day as well as e-mail throughout the day. He agreed and apologized for being caught off guard and making me feel insecure.

That was the "scary" part of the weekend for me and probably for him too. Yesterday morning, I woke up sad that he was leaving and couldn't stop crying. He was really sad too and promised to lay in bed with me and hold me for as long as I wanted and that he loves being with me and didn't want to leave either, but he had to. It was another teary parting at the airport last night, but he has text messaged me several times today and e-mailed me a few times today about how much he misses me.

Besides the scary part and the sad morning, we had a lot of fun together going out to dinner, going to the movies, watching basketball on tv, watching more movies and just relaxing together.

So, any input from other people who have been in successful long-distance relationships? How did you make the transition from long-distance to same city? Did you move in with your significant other right away or have your own place? Who moved and why? How did you know you wouldn't get sick of each other once you lived in the same city? Is it something you just knew or was it a risk?

Obviously, The Professional and I will have much to discuss during my next appointment!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

After the final. . .

Wow. I am REALLY impressed with how well Bevin is composing herself on "After the Final Rose." Good for her! She seems very mature and level-headed about the situation. I don't know how I would react if I were in her situation, but I could only hope to be as mature and solid as she is being. Yay Bevin!

Anyways, I'm really hoping that Andy and Tessa make it, they seem like a very sweet couple. They also seem very realistic about the situation and that they need to get to know each other all over again without all of the tv show fake romance stuff. Can't wait to see what happens with them!

Monday, May 21, 2007

The Bachelor and the visit

Okay, so I'm totally excited for the season finale of The Bachelor tonight. I'm rooting for Tessa who I've been rooting for since the first episode. Now, I'm not a devout Bachelor watcher. I have watched only a few seasons, but started again last season and continued watching this season.

First, let's discuss The Bachelor himself, Andy. What to say about Andy. Well, he seems to be a very nice guy, very well-rounded, smart and dorky in a good way. But Andy, poor Andy, doesn't seem to have taken very good care of his skin. Though he is only about 30 or 31, his skin looks leathery and he has a lot of deep wrinkles in his forehead as well as crow's feet and marionette lines. Is it just me or do his teeth look funny too? I know, I know, don't be so superficial Not-So-Single Girl. These are just things I'm pointing out, I'm not saying no girl should like him because he has leathery skin and funny teeth. Like I said before, he seems to be a really good guy and not sleazy like some of the previous Bachelors have been.

On to the girls. I hope he picks Tessa although I think he'd be happy with Bevin too. I like both of the girls but feel he has a more "real" (if that's possible in a reality dating show) connection with Tessa. I think his connection with Bevin is more physical, but there is an emotional connection there too. I just feel like Tessa was more guarded than Bevin and didn't hurry to open up to Andy.

Okay, here I go sounding superficial again, but whatever: I hope he doesn't propose with the ring they show on the preview. It's just not my taste - a very plain, round cut diamond in a plain setting. It's nice, but just not my preference. I prefer princess or emerald or jubilee cut diamonds, either in a plain setting or with some baguettes on the band. My Mom already knows what I would like, so whoever the guy is that decides he wants to marry me should be smart enough to seek my Mom's help in picking a ring. Anyways, I'm excited to see what happens on tonight's 2 hour episode!

On to other things... Nothing too exciting to report, I had a very relaxing weekend on my fantastic new sheets. They are Hotel Collection sheets from Macy's, 500 thread count pima cotton and they are so fabulous. I really did not want to get out of bed all weekend because the sheets were so soft and comfortable.

The Swimmer comes to visit me this weekend! YAY! I'm so excited and can't wait until he's here with me. It will be nice to not be the one traveling this time. I just can't wait to be with him again and be together. I've been checking ticket prices to go visit him in LA in June and they haven't gone down at all since I started checking on them in March. Grrrr.... And there aren't any award tickets available so I can use my award miles to get a ticket, so annoying. Anyways, The Bachelor is about to start!

One more thing, they really need to not play that "love lift us up where we belong" song in the cheesy orchestral version. I know it's called The Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman, but seriously, it's too corny.


Ugh, I have this bad feeling he's going to pick Bevin and not Tessa. I guess I'll have to wait and see. . .


Okay, I really think he's going to pick Bevin. She told him she loves him and then they were hugging and he whispered to her that he loves her too.


Okay, how can a guy tell a girl he loves her and then the next day, be making out and having strong feelings for another? How can someone be capable of that? Is it truly possible to be in love with two people at the same time? I just don't think so. I know it's a tv show and all, but still, that's a pretty crappy thing to do. I don't understand guys.


He just told Tessa he loves her after she told him she loves him. I just don't know about him.


Okay, I think he's not picking Bevin. He's picking Tessa. Didn't see that coming! I totally thought he was going to pick her, he was wearing the watch she gave him. I hope he takes the watch off before he proposes to Tessa. That's pretty tacky if he doesn't. Bevin has nothing to say. Damn girl, don't you know you're going to regret not saying anything to him? You have to say something. Can't wait to hear him propose to Tessa. Now Bevin is saying how wrong she was and how she took a chance and put herself on the line - well, yeah, you have to put yourself on the line, that's how love is. You have to take risks. Okay, I think he took the watch off. Man, I do feel bad for Bevin. Getting your heart broken sucks. It really does feel like your heart is breaking. It's just an awful, painful feeling that sucks and once you feel it, you never want to feel it again. But that's the tricky part - risking getting your heart broken after feeling it happen once before.


The proposal was pretty good. But ABC just ruined it by playing the orchestral version of the "love lift us up where we belong" song and it's so corny. I'm curious to see if these two last since not many of the other couples have made it.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Grey's Running Commentary...

Okay, so let me say something about Grey's Anatomy. I can't stand the character of Meredith Grey. She is so whiny. So what you have family issues. Doesn't everybody?! As far as tonight's episode, Derek should dump her too-skinny, whiny ass. Last week when she was having all that drama, she totally left Derek out of the loop. If you love him so much and he has told you that he wants to be there for you, why did you ignore him and not let him in? I really wish she weren't the main character. The show would be much better if it revolved around Christina or Izzy, they are much more relatable and actually deal with their issues rather than just sit around and whine about them all the time. I don't like the route the writers went as far as having Izzy get with George, but whatever. I love Izzy as a character and Christina is just hilarious with her ambition and distaste for typical "girly" things. I don't understand why everyone calls Sloan "McSteamy," but that's just my taste. He does nothing for me. But I'm not one of those girls who goes after the bad guy, I much prefer the less dramatic good guys. And the writers should bring on the annoying resident girl full-time (can't remember her character's name, but I know the actress in Kali Rocha or something, she played the flight attendant in "Meet the Parents.")

Okay - WOW. How amazing were Burke's vows to Christina?! I got all teary-eyed. So freaking sweet. And WOW. What a HUGE mistake George is making by having a baby with Callie. And I don't feel one bit sorry for Alex liking Eva/Rebecca and her husband coming to find her. If you like someone, tell them. Don't hide it you jackass!

How hilarious are Christina's eyebrows?! Or shall I say, lack of eyebrows! That is such a fear of mine when getting my eyebrows waxed by someone new - they'll pull off the strip of wax and along with that strip goes all of my eyebrows.

How the flip did Bailey not get chief resident?! And on top of that, Callie got it?! The only person besides Bailey I could stand being chief resident would be Sydney Heron (the hilarious one I was talking about above, the really annoying resident). At least she's funny, but she also seems like she knows her stuff.

Okay, here is what I said when Meredith decided to run off to Christina's wedding after Derek opened his heart to her:
"You stupid f**king skinny bitch!" She is such an emotional disaster that she can't open up and reciprocate to the man that loves her unconditionally. She so does not deserve a guy like him.

Yeah, I figured George didn't pass his exam. Poor Bailey for thinking she failed him. So, does this mean TR Knight is not returning to the show? Good luck to him if that's what this means. He's a good actor, but not as good as a lot of the people on this show to where he could do other things with as much success.

Wow. Burke left. So does that mean he's off the show? Wow. Poor Christina but also not poor Christina. I can understand what Burke said about him trying to make her into a person she isn't, but at the same time, she was still her own person, but she was becoming less stubborn by doing some things just for him. Maybe I'm not understanding this right now because I'm blonde and sometimes it takes me a little more time to "get" things, but why was Christina crying and then saying that she was free? Hmmm... Something to ponder.

Once again, Meredith is such an idiot for acting the way she's acting with Derek. Idiot. I.D.I.O.T. I don't feel bad for Alex. Eva gave him a chance to open up to her and he blew it. You snooze, you lose. You don't always get a second chance.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007


Okay, so I have to confess that sometimes I get really into the TV shows I watch. I'm watching the season finale of "America's Next Top Model" and I have to admit that I'm nervous to find out who wins. I get this way sometimes and it really cracks me up. And for all of you who watch ANTM, who are you hoping wins? I'm rooting for Natasha, she's just hilarious and has really grown on me. When this season started, I didn't like her at all, but now she's my favorite. Back to the show. . .


Son of a monkey's uncle!! Damn! Friggin Jaslene won ANTM. I'm sorry, she takes some great pictures and all, but like the judges on there have said before, she looks like a drag queen. Grrrrr.... Oh well, Natasha does have a baby and a husband, even though she's like 20 years old or something, but I think she might have a great career in modeling if she pursues it. If not in modeling, in the spotlight somehow because she has such a great personality. Anyways, now I have to watch the American Idol results show. And, if you care to know, I'm hoping Blake gets kicked off tonight, I REALLY don't like him and his beatboxing.


Seriously?!?!?! This is bulls**t!!! How the hell can crappy Blake stay on and the best singer in the whole competition, Melinda, get sent home?! Once again, I've been rooting for Melinda from the beginning and thought she should have won. While I like Jordin, I think she's too young, she's only 17, to handle the fame. When it comes to next week though, Jordin better win. If Blake wins, that's it, I'm never watching that show again!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

That was easy!

Well, my day with Steadman (my manager) yesterday was very easy. We worked together in the morning and then shortly after lunch, he left me for the day to do some work he had to do before a manager's meeting he has tomorrow and Thursday. So, instead of working with me on Thursday, he worked with me today. Well, today he didn't meet up with me until about 12:30pm at a lunch and after the lunch, Steadman, Eyeliner (the girl I work with, obviously named that because she wears way too much eyeliner for day) and I sat down to discuss some difficult offices we work with. Once we finished that at 3pm, Steadman left to finish preparation for his meeting. So, it was a very easy time with Steadman this month, as opposed to previous months. He seems to understand a lot of the problems that some changes my company has made have created, so that made me feel better. I've also been thinking about taking some online classes and found out that my company will partially pay for them as long as they are relevant to my job. So, I will be looking into that further. I could stand to exercise my brain with actual knowledge rather than evaluating contestants on America's Next Top Model or The Bachelor. (By the way, I'm rooting for Natasha and Tessa, respectively)

Anyways, I'm very much looking forward to The Swimmer's visit next week. I spoke with my best friend from high school, the one who introduced me to The Swimmer 5 years ago, we'll call her Island Girl (for reasons I will not explain). She still doesn't know that The Swimmer and I are together or even anything remotely close to that. I've explained before why I haven't told her, basically because she doesn't know The Swimmer as he is now, only as he was 5 years ago, which is very different. 5 years ago, The Swimmer was immature, a slacker college student and a bit of a pothead. Now, The Swimmer is mature, ambitious, romantic, sweet and so caring. Island Girl knows that I am dating someone and has heard almost everything about him and how fabulously he treats me. I almost told her yesterday, but I've decided to wait another month. I would really like to tell her in person, but she lives in NYC. I'm hoping that within the next month, she'll be visiting me, which is why I'm waiting another month. I really just can't wait to see the look on her face when I tell her, she's going to be beyond shocked but I'm sure, very happy for me.

Well, time to exercise my brain by watching House....

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Another quick weekend. . .

Why is it that just when you start to relax, the weekend is over?! I ended up running all around town yesterday, running errands, so no rest for me yesterday. And then today, after watching a movie, I did a bunch of work stuff that I've been putting off. Now that I'm done with that, I only have about another hour and a half of relaxation until I have to go to sleep. Steadman, my manager, is working with me tomorrow. Oh joy. I can't complain though, he hasn't worked with me since February, so I need to just suck it up and get it over with. So, yeah, Steadman is working with me tomorrow and then on Thursday. I'm hoping that he won't work with me all day since he has a regional manager's meeting on Tuesday and Wednesday. So I'm thinking that maybe he'll want to end the day early tomorrow to prepare for the meeting and then maybe he'll want to end early on Thursday because he'll be tired from the meeting. Hmmm... I guess I'll find out soon enough!

The Swimmer is fantastic as ever. Had an appointment with The Professional on Friday which was great. I brought up how The Swimmer and I have been together for about as long as The Idiot and I had been together and how different the relationship is. With The Swimmer, I'm so comfortable. I don't constantly analyze everything and over-think what I'm going to say and the planning of things. With The Idiot, a lot of times, I felt like I had to be careful about saying certain things or planning things. My relationship with The Swimmer is so natural and just how a relationship should be. We're so comfortable with each other and if I want to say something or ask something, I can, no over-thinking anything. I'm just really happy with The Swimmer and it's a fabulous feeling. I'm so excited for him to come visit me soon, I wish we could afford flying to see each other every other weekend instead of every two or three weekends. I just can't believe it's already May, this year is flying by so quickly. It's true, the older you get, the faster time goes by.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

The weekend flew by. . .

YAY! No panic attacks all weekend!! YAY! YAY! YAY! I'm thinking that the panic attacks I had the first weekend I went to LA to visit The Swimmer were because it was my first time there and like The Professional said, I wasn't letting out my emotions. Since doing that, I have definitely made progress. For once, I am finally giving myself credit instead of being so hard on myself like I usually am. Anyways, on to the weekend...

We had so much fun and the weekend went by WAY too quickly. I got in Thursday night and after a quick shower and some realxing, The Swimmer and I went to sleep. He was up for work early Friday morning and I slept through most of his getting ready, I was so exhausted from such a busy past couple of weeks and really having no weekend when my brother was in town. After he got back from work, we relaxed and then got dressed to go for sushi. Saturday was nice, we relaxed all morning and then got showered and dressed and met up with his friend and his friend's girlfriend. Then it was off to Disneyland. His friend's girlfriend also gets carsick so we ended up taking two cars, which I was happy about. Remember how The Swimmer said the drive to Disneyland was long? Yeah, it took maybe 35 minutes, no big deal. We're just driving along and all of a sudden the next exit sign I see on the interstate was for Disneyland. Disneyland was a ton of fun, but absolutely exhausting. By the time we left, our legs felt like they weighed a ton and The Swimmer drove us home quickly where we passed out in minutes. Sunday was spent recovering from Disneyland, so we just ran a couple of errands and then watched some movies. Monday morning we were up early and then The Swimmer was off to work. It was strangely hot yesterday in LA, so I was trying to avoid going out in the heat, but there was no food for lunch in the apartment, so I was forced out. Luckily, The Swimmer lives close to The Grove in LA, so I went and walked around for a little bit and grabbed some lunch. I walked back to his place and relaxed in the living room where the A/C is until The Swimmer got home from work. He brought home sushi for dinner and we ate and relaxed together before some last minute cuddling before it was time to take me to the airport. =(

We did have a little spat, but it was quickly resolved. It basically comes down to The Swimmer being extremely sensitive. Sometimes sensitive to the point where I'm hesitant to say something because I don't want him to take it the wrong way. This came up on Sunday evening in a strange way and I told him that I like that he's sensitive, but he can't take everything personally and he can't always be perfect. He said that he always wants to be perfect for me and do everything right so sometimes when I say things, he takes it hard and personally and nobody can be perfect all the time and everyone needs to be shown new things or new ways of doing things sometimes. And that though I like that he's sensitive, he can't be sensitive to the point where I don't bring things up because I'm scared he'll get upset about it. The Swimmer agreed and apologized for upsetting me and said that he would try not to be so hard on himself. So that "spat" was kind of a good thing since it showed us that we can communicate well with each other.

It was definitely a tearful goodbye last night at the airport and I know it was hard for The Swimmer too. But, like he kept reminding me, we'll be together again in two and a half weeks when he comes to visit me over Memorial Day weekend. Anyways, time for me to relax, it's been a long day since I took the red eye back last night, so I need to vegetate.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Just a quickie!

So I know I haven't updated since my exhausting weekend, but I don't have time for a real update now either! I'm trying to get packed and ready to go to LA. Yes, I am nervous, again for fear of panic attacks, but I just need to do everything The Professional has told me to do in an effort to stave off panic attacks. Should be going to Disneyland on Saturday evening, so wish me no panic attacks then as well as today and when I leave LA on Monday night. Anyways, have a great weekend everyone! And send me good thoughts of no panic attacks!!