Long Overdue. . .

So I know an update is long overdue. Things have just been very crazy and busy over the past week. Overall, my trip to LA to visit The Swimmer was great.

Got in early Thursday evening and pretty much just relaxed. Friday, The Swimmer worked all day and I relaxed. The Swimmer didn't say anything since I got to LA about meeting his family, so I was wondering if he didn't want that anymore. I didn't say anything though and figured I would just keep quiet until mid-way through dinner. So, The Swimmer got back from work, we hung out for a bit and then went for sushi. He said that we'd eat dinner and then go back to his place and watch a movie. So I asked if he still wanted to stop by his Grandma's. He said, Yes, of course, that he hadn't said anything because he didn't want me to get too nervous. So, after dinner we stopped by hig Grandma's. She is this adorable little Israeli old lady. I couldn't understand a lot of what she said because she seemed to have a pretty thick accent, but I heard her say how beautiful I am and asked me when I'm moving to LA. She was so cute. We then went next door to his Mom's and surprised her. We ended up hanging out there for about an hour and a half and I also met his Mom's fiance. The Swimmer even brought up how inexpensive real estate is where I live compared to LA and his Mom kept asking more about that. I was shocked, but definitely pleased he brought that up. After that, we just went back to his place and watched a movie.

We both woke up at about 4am to go pee, but I had a sudden, huge feeling of nausea. I told The Swimmer and he tried to make me feel better, but it just got worse. I went to the bathroom and called my Mom to try to talk me down. My cell phone died after a little bit and The Swimmer came to sit with me. After about an hour and fifteen minutes, I was finally able to take an Ativan to go to sleep. Not exactly how I wanted to start off the weekend. The Swimmer told me the next day that he had been feeling a bit queasy too, but didn't want to say anything because he knew it would freak me out.

Saturday night, we went to see The Police. It was definitely quite an experience and so much fun. Sunday, we relaxed and decided to go see a movie. Before we left for the theater, I got paranoid that I was getting a lovely UTI, so I thought it would be a great idea to drink 3 bottles of water and then another bottle when we got to the theater. Smart, huh? Such a blonde moment on my part! I had to get up 4 times during the movie to run to the bathroom.

Monday, The Swimmer went to work, so I slept in late and was quite a bum all day, but I liked it! The Swimmer came home, we went to grab take out and then spent some extra "quality time" together before going to the airport. Fantastic "quality time" I might add! On the way to the airport, I started getting scared that I was going to have a panic attack. Sure enough, I got one. The ride was very bumpy, the airport was the most chaotic I had ever seen it and I didn't want to have another one since I had had one Friday night. After checking it, I told The Swimmer that he could leave and that there was nothing he could do to calm me down from this panic attack. He wasn't happy about it, but I wasn't going to hear otherwise. I trekked to the security line and after making it through, I went to my crowded, noisy gate. I managed to take an Ativan, but it couldn't start working fast enough. As my luck would have it, my flight was delayed. The Swimmer called to check on me and I told him I would call him back in a bit. I called my Mom and she helped calm me down a bit. I just knew that as soon as I got on the plane, I would feel better. Talked to the Swimmer again who was trying his hardest to make me feel better. As soon as I got on the plane, I felt better within 10 minutes.

Saw The Professional today to try to get to the bottom of the panic attacks. When I described what happened in the middle of the night for that first attack, she said that it sounds like it wasn't a panic attack, it was definitely from dinner. She said that it was amazing and such a good thing that even when I thought I was going to throw up, I wanted The Swimmer there to comfort me. This is HUGE for me. To feel close enough and comfortable enough with a guy to feel like I wanted him there at that moment. Normally, in a situation like that, I would have locked the bathroom door and not let him in. As far as the panic attack on Monday night, that was from a feeling that I was only "allowed" or "alotted" a certain number of panic attacks in front of him and after that amount, it's not allowed. This is only from past experience and not from anything or anyway The Swimmer has made me feel. So, after seeing The Professional today, I talked to him and told him this. He reassured me that it doesn't matter to him how many panic attacks I have, that he just doesn't like it when I'm upset and that he wants to do everything he can to help me in that situation. He's so sweet! Thankfully, I see The Professional again once more before I leave for LA in a week.

So, any suggestions on birthday presents for The Swimmer? I need to find out if he has business cards. If he does, I'll get him a business card case with his initials on it and a business card holder for his desk. If not, I don't know what to get him. He has plenty of nice clothes, watches, wallets, etc.