Sigh. . .

Not much new to update you all on. Pretty much the same old - still wondering what's going to happen when The Swimmer visits in January, still wondering what he's thinking and still in shock about how I'm feeling. When I look at a calendar and see how close his visit really is, I'm like, Wow, that's soon, and I get a little nervous. He's been a lot better about not IMing me the second I sign on, so that's nice and I didn't even have to say anything about that. I just can't stop thinking about how weird it's going to be that first hour or so that he's here. What do I say? How do I not act weird? What's it going to be like? Do I tell him that I'm going to be nervous so that maybe it won't be so weird??

Then there's the issue of what to do on New Year's Eve. I'm really not in the mood to "go all out" this year. I've done that for the past few years and I've only had a really good time for one of those years. Otherwise, it's a total disappointment and I start off the year on kind of a bad feeling. I also don't want to spend a ton of money or have to drive anywhere. I just wish I could stay at home and relax, but not feel like a freak for doing that! Luckily, I live in the middle of a big city, so there's lots to do around me. Hmmm...