I just don't know how to feel about things with The Swimmer anymore. Part of me is very excited for his visit - no matter what his intentions are - either a booty call weekend or to test the waters. I know it's going to be a lot of fun and exciting and I'm curious to see how things go. The other part of me is still in total shock that this is really happening. I'm almost waiting for him to say, "Ha! It was just a joke, I'm not really coming to visit." It's just so weird that things are going to change from being friends to being friends who hook up. I'm also partly a little scared that when he comes, if we have a great time, I'm scared of becoming attached to him. What if it's one-sided? What if it's not one-sided? I guess that's something you always worry about, but this is different because we're friends. I don't want to ask him questions like, What are your intentions in coming? Is this a booty call weekend? Are you thinking you might be interested in something more? How do you think this weekend went? Are you interested in more? I really need to stop with the overanalyzing and just let things happen. It's just different though, you know?
I have to admit that today, I was very excited to IM with The Swimmer again since it had been a few days. I actually got excited when I got home from work and signed in to see that he was on. Now I'm like, What does that mean? Okay, enough spazzing out for now. . .
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1 comment:
Good luck with whatever happens!
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