Thank you everyone for your nice welcome back and words of wisdom! Unfortunately, I've given The Swimmer enough chances to follow through with what he has said he was going to do and stop doing the things that I've told him are interfering in our relationship. Even if he were to all of a sudden get his act together now and do all of those things, it is too little, too late now and I'm done. I just know we're not meant for each other and I definitely don't see myself with him forever for a lot of different reasons.
Wasn't able to see The Professional yesterday, my appointment had to be rescheduled for next week which sucks because I was obviously really looking forward to discussing all of this with her. I couldn't even call her because she was totally out of the office. So now, I'm just not sure when or how to talk to The Swimmer. I've never been in this position before and it's definitely not fun! I know he's going to be hurt and upset, but how do I make that a little less? I'm tempted to wait until I am able to talk to The Professional about all of this because I just don't know how to handle this, but at the same time, I feel bad knowing how I feel and just keeping The Swimmer hanging on, I feel like it's not fair to either one of us. Any suggestions? Wait? Do it now? What to say?
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5 comments:
It's hard to believe that swimmer doesn't have an inkling of what's to come. He likely can sense your irritation.
But I see no mad rush to discuss things with him. He is at a distance anyway, so it's not like there is any big change pending. It's not that he is packing up to move to your location and you need to make sure he cancels the moving truck in time. It's more like you "don't" have to do things -- you "don't" have to plan a trip to see him, you "don't" have to configure your schedule around him, etc. Unless he asks you point blank, I see no harm from waiting a week until you've hashed it out with the professional.
It sounds like you have things sorted out. Are you sure you need The Professional still?
sometimes it's possible to try to imagine what the shrink would say:
pretend you're in her office, say [to yrself] what you would say to her, and then -- Become the Shrink, and speak for her, voicing what she would say to you. She would advise you to say what to the Sw. -- and that's what you say. i still find myself reciting, mantra-like, things my wonderful shrink from 1979 told me...good luck.
mimi
You are evil with cliffhangers!
I would just tell him the truth. Especially if it's weighing on you and you are sure. You don't need the Professional to be able to say what you were able to write out quite articulately on this blog.
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