Well, in just two short weeks, I will be turning 26. This scares me. I know that isn't very old, so there is no need to tell me that. Here's my thing though. Or actually, here are my things... This post might be a bit rambling, but here it goes.
When I see other girls/women on tv or in real life who are 26, I don't feel like I look like them. I feel like they look 26, but I don't. At the same time though, I'm not sure what I look like. I know I certainly don't look like I'm 18 or anything, but I feel like the 26 year olds look so "grown up." That's funny to me though because I've always been told that I'm very grown up and mature for my age. But I see other women who are 26 and I just don't feel like I look like them. Maybe I do, maybe I don't, I don't know. Maybe we all have this skewed view of ourselves.
And I know I'm definitely grown up and settled. I own my own condo, have a fantastic job where I make great money for someone my age, have a nice amount of money in my 401K which I started when I was 23 years old and have grown out of the whole hooking up with guys and getting wasted every weekend phase. But, if I try to put on a real business suit for work, sometimes I feel like I'm a 10 year old girl playing dress up in her mother's clothes.
I told my Mom about this and I think she gets what I'm talking about, but I'm not sure. She said that when she sees women on tv who are 56 (her age) she doesn't feel like she looks that old and doesn't feel like she's that old. She said she's always felt like that and that that's just how it is.
It's just really weird. I always thought I would "feel" differently at 26 than I actually do. I've always felt that way. Like when I was in elementary school, the high school kids looked so old and mature, then I got to high school and I didn't feel that way, but thoguht the college kids looked so old and like they knew exactly what they were doing. Then I got there and guess what, I didn't feel like that. It just keeps happening like that. I guess I always felt that I would have everything figured out by a certain point, but I guess you never do, do you? Or do you?
It's strange to think that at my age my Mom had a child already. I couldn't imagine having a baby already. I know people say that times were different, but wow, that's just crazy to think about.
Again, I know that 26 isn't old by any means, but wow, when I was a kid I always thought I would get married when I was 27 or 28 and who knows if that will happen, but that certainly isn't that far away anymore. That's just so weird.
And don't get me wrong, I totally don't feel like I should be on a "timeline" and I'm not on course with it or anything, but it's just a little weird and a little scary to think that I'm turning 26.
I don't know about this getting older stuff, but I do wonder what The Swimmer will get me for my birthday!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I remember being in High school/early college and thinking my cousin was "so old" for getting married at 26.
By the time I reached 26, I felt I was too young to be getting married and having a family!
Now I'm 28 and still not ready. I guess I'll be ready when I meet the right person, though. I hope.
well, sgs, it's the same at 60! i thought 60-yr-olds were little old ladies [if they were little] in old lady shoes, navy blue dresses, gloves, and 'serious' jewelry ...but i wear dkny & onlyhearts, and my daughters [19 & 21] sometimes wear my clothes, so clothes don't really differentiate ages any more -- and i work full time, as does my [new] 70-yr-old boyfriend! and i take vigorous 3-mi walks in the park most days and a very aerobic swingdance lesson w. lots of shimmying once a week --AND i *never* have worn a 'business suit' for work. can't stand them.
the moral is: times have changed.
i hope you have the wonderful 25th b'day you deserve, with lots of partying.
I'm 26. I don't feel like a grown up at all, and my wardrobe confirms this. You mean I can't wear tank tops and blue jeans forever? Waaaah!
Post a Comment