Sunday, October 7, 2007
Can the drama ever calm down?!
Well, I opened the discussion with The Swimmer about moving and where I should move to. He wants me to move to LA, which I already knew, but once again, when I asked if he would be open to moving to South Florida, his answers changed between maybe and no. So frustrating. He's never even been to Florida. And, according to him, people don't just pick up and move places, at least not the people he knows. So, I said, Why not? Why not move somewhere besides where you've lived all your life while you're still young and you aren't tied down by your career? He didn't really have a good answer for that. Then he said I was putting a lot of pressure on him. I told him that the only person putting any pressure on him was himself, as he does all the time. I told him that this is a big deal for me and it's not an easy decision, that I can't just do what's best for my career and I can't just do what I want for my love life. They are both important to me and that's why this is so stressful for me. The Swimmer feels like this makes our relationship complicated. Uhhh... HELLO?! Welcome to being an adult jackass! Life is complicated. Life is full of big decisions. Life is never easy. It just doesn't work that way. Anyways, I'm kind of feeling like I don't mean enough to him for him to move for me, even though it would just be for a year or two. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Sorry for the venting and rambling, but I'm typing this while he's in the shower and I just feel like I need to get this off my chest and make sure I'm not crazy for feeling like I am. . . Where's The Professional when I need her?
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4 comments:
Sometimes we DO have to choose between a career and a love. It happens. Especially in a long-distance relationship. I've been there, girl! And if you really, really know what you want, then the choice is simple... even if following through on it is hard as hell.
So, my friendly advice would be to go easy on yourself because this IS stressful, and you're not crazy in any way for feeling so upset.
I think it's understandable that you both feel under pressure. Give yourself as much time as you can to think this through. It's OK to make this decision slowly, and in smaller chunks.
Then, quite simply, trust your gut. It's smarter than any professional.
I think you said a while back that you used to live in LA? Maybe that's why he feels like you moving to LA is an easier solution, because you have lived there before and you both have some routes there, whereas, moving to Florida uproots both of you? I'm not saying I agree with him, just saying, maybe that's the way he is thinking about it...?
belle - I agree, I think some time to think about this all will help.
Samantha - I don't have any roots in LA, only he does. If anything, I definitely have roots in Florida, that's where I grew up and all of my family is still there. I don't particularly love FL, but it wouldn't be forever and I told him that. It just seems like the thought of living anywhere but LA is terrifying to him. The only place he's ever lived besides LA is Israel and that was for a whole 3 months.
It's the dilemma that most people in long-distance relationships have to face sooner or later, isn't it? It usually comes down to weighing the pros and cons of relocating for either party (or both). Good luck!
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