Planning

I know. I know I have been an awful blogger. All I can say is that I've been busy and after not writing for so long, the thought of trying to update everyone on everything feels so overwhelming!

So, I'm not going to do that, I'm just going to say that everything is still going very well in my life. TDH is still pretty fantastic. He's going through a little rough patch in his life right now and hopefully I'm being good at supporting him through it. He's going through that time in his life that I think we all go through at one point, where you feel like you are two people stuck in one body. Part of him wants to be the "rockstar" that he's always wanted to be and be out traveling the world, playing his music, meeting people from all walks of life. The other part of him wants to settle down, and in his words, "continue building a burgeoning relationship with a woman such as yourself," and start a family. I told him that how he's feeling is totally normal and that when it comes down to it, he just needs to find a way to meld the two together. He said he's scared he'll never be able to be completely happy. I reassured him again that it's totally normal to feel that way and that maybe a change of perspective is in order. Instead of focusing on all of the bad things in the world, he needs to focus on all of the good things and all of the good things he's been lucky enough to experience, all of the amazing places he's traveled and all of the experiences he's been able to share with his family. I used to be like TDH a lot, when it comes to his ambivalence about the world. I think that all changed when I had the brain tumor scare 2 years ago and realized that life is too short and I might as well focus on the good and make sure that I'm surrounded by things that make me happy. After we talked about all of this for a while, he said he had been scared to open up to me about all of this because I had told him about past relationships where the guy was totally insecure, so he didn't want to turn me away from him. I laughed and told him there was absolutely no need to worry and that if I thought he was anything like that guy, I would have been long gone! Also, I told him that I'm always here for him if he ever wants to talk.

TDH wants to plan a long weekend getaway to the beach with me, so that should be a lot of fun. We're working on that now and should hopefully have that planned within the next couple of days. I could definitely use a little vacation and a long weekend with just TDH would be awesome!!

This weekend was good - TDH and I went out for drinks on Friday night, Saturday evening, TDH took me to a work associate's house for a barbecue. Today, I hung out with Crazy Girl. She's going through a rough time herself - she's scared she's going to lose her job, so that's adding to her already usually high anxiety level. What sucks is that she doesn't deserve to lose her job, she hasn't done anything wrong, her boss (a woman) thinks she's "just too tall and too blonde" so she doesn't like her. It's totally ridiculous. So Crazy Girl is reporting this to HR along with a bunch of other totally inappropriate comments her boss has made in front of other people, including a comment that insinuates that Crazy Girl and I are in a lesbian relationship together. So Crazy Girl and I went out shopping for a new business suit for her and then out for burgers. Yum!

I'm still loving taking ballet again, it's so much fun and I get a great workout from it. Better than going to the gym!! Haven't been back to tap class yet, but I probably will this week, I didn't want to hurt the toe now that it's all healed up.

Anyways, that's all for me now! I'll try to be better about updating!

Hello!

Well, once again, I've been an absent blogger, so I'll apologize for my absence! I hope everyone had a splendid 4th of July weekend. Mine was quite relaxing. I had Thursday and Friday off from work, so it was quite the long weekend for me! Wednesday afternoon, TDH came over when he was done with work (I think he likes seeing me in my "business" clothes!) and we hung out until dinnertime and walked up the street to have dinner. Thursday I lounged around all day and night, nothing too exciting.

Friday, I went to Crazy Girl's house and we hung out with her neighbor, barbecued and hung out in the sun. Friday evening, TDH came over, I baked cookies (yes, from scratch, let me know if you want the recipe!), we looked at houses for sale online, watched the city's fireworks from outside my building and then walked up the street to get drinks. Then we came home and watched a movie while he gave me a massage. Saturday morning/afternoon, TDH cooked me breakfast - blueberry pancakes and bacon, before he left to check out some neighborhoods he might be interested in living in. Saturday evening, TDH came over again and we went to watch a cover band play for a little bit, but the place was empty, so we only stayed for about a half hour before leaving and coming back to my place to go to sleep early so he could get an early start on Sunday morning. Sunday, I did absolutely nothing!!

Things with TDH are still going so well, he's just fantastic! I can't help the gushing! We were talking on the phone last night and he told me how he e-mailed me an article about the space station because he was reading it and thought how I would love to read it too. So I said to him, "Awhh, you think about me!" He said, "Of course I do! I think about you all the time!" Sigh... He called early this morning and asked me to lunch, I love it when he does that! He's helping a friend move tomorrow night, so we have plans to spend Saturday together. I love how things with him aren't just surface all the time - he likes talking about more deep things sometimes to really try to get to know me. I feel safe with him and I haven't been so scared to open up to him and let myself be vulnerable. It's definitely weird, but really nice to trust someone like this and feel safe. Yes, there's always a chance of getting hurt, but you never know how happy you could be if you don't take that chance.