Well, once again, I've been an absent blogger, so I'll apologize for my absence! I hope everyone had a splendid 4th of July weekend. Mine was quite relaxing. I had Thursday and Friday off from work, so it was quite the long weekend for me! Wednesday afternoon, TDH came over when he was done with work (I think he likes seeing me in my "business" clothes!) and we hung out until dinnertime and walked up the street to have dinner. Thursday I lounged around all day and night, nothing too exciting.
Friday, I went to Crazy Girl's house and we hung out with her neighbor, barbecued and hung out in the sun. Friday evening, TDH came over, I baked cookies (yes, from scratch, let me know if you want the recipe!), we looked at houses for sale online, watched the city's fireworks from outside my building and then walked up the street to get drinks. Then we came home and watched a movie while he gave me a massage. Saturday morning/afternoon, TDH cooked me breakfast - blueberry pancakes and bacon, before he left to check out some neighborhoods he might be interested in living in. Saturday evening, TDH came over again and we went to watch a cover band play for a little bit, but the place was empty, so we only stayed for about a half hour before leaving and coming back to my place to go to sleep early so he could get an early start on Sunday morning. Sunday, I did absolutely nothing!!
Things with TDH are still going so well, he's just fantastic! I can't help the gushing! We were talking on the phone last night and he told me how he e-mailed me an article about the space station because he was reading it and thought how I would love to read it too. So I said to him, "Awhh, you think about me!" He said, "Of course I do! I think about you all the time!" Sigh... He called early this morning and asked me to lunch, I love it when he does that! He's helping a friend move tomorrow night, so we have plans to spend Saturday together. I love how things with him aren't just surface all the time - he likes talking about more deep things sometimes to really try to get to know me. I feel safe with him and I haven't been so scared to open up to him and let myself be vulnerable. It's definitely weird, but really nice to trust someone like this and feel safe. Yes, there's always a chance of getting hurt, but you never know how happy you could be if you don't take that chance.
Showing posts with label Lazy Weekend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lazy Weekend. Show all posts
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Chocolate chip cookies, puppy dogs and rainbows...
I know it's been over a week since I last posted, but I've been busy reuniting with TDH! He was exhausted when he got back on Saturday, so he came over on Sunday and we spent all evening and night Sunday together until he had to go into work on Monday morning. I told him how happy I was that he is back, over and over again and he said he was too. Once, I was like, "YAY!" He responded with, "What?" I said, "I'm just really happy you're back!" He said, "I missed you too!" I guess it was pretty obvious that that was what I was meaning to say, but just couldn't get out. I guess some old habits die hard!
Tuesday evening, TDH came over after having drinks with his old roommate, he was a bit drunk, but he was wanting to have some fun in bed. Why is it that guys seem to forget that being drunk usually means having some troubles when it comes to sex? It doesn't bother me, but it only leads to them feeling embarrassed. The next morning, we woke up and TDH wanted us to cook a big breakfast - blueberry pancakes, bacon, english muffins, etc. So, we started cooking and when breakfast was ready, the beers from the night before caught up with him and he didn't feel well. I told him not to worry, that I didn't want him to eat just because I cooked. So I finished eating and we got back into bed and watched Back to the Future Part 3, while TDH recovered from his night of fun. It's so nice that we're both in sales and can go into work whenever we want! He left at around 1pm and I went off to work.
Wednesday night I went out with Bra Girl and Nik to watch some bands play. Friday evening, Blondie and I went out to dinner together for some delicious food. TDH was out of town for the night with some of his high school friends.
Yesterday afternoon, TDH came over to hang out and spend the evening with me. It was cute because we both didn't care what we did, it was just both of our priorities to be with each other. Initially, we were going to go see a friend's band play, but TDH was tired from the night before, so he kind of just wanted to veg out, but if I wanted to go out, he would take one for the team. I told him that I didn't care what we did, I just wanted to spend time with him, that was my priority for the night. He teased me for saying that. I was like, "I say something sweet and you make fun of me?!" (He knows it's hard for me to be vulnerable.) So we watched "Teen Wolf," had some fun in bed and then went out to dinner.
After we got back from dinner, we sat on the couch and were talking about random stuff. He was telling me about how his mom and dad ask about me every day. I told him I think that's cute. After talking more about random stuff, he told me that his mom likes/liked (can't remember which he said) his ex-girlfriend. Ugh. Why do guys say stuff like that?! I really didn't need to hear that. I didn't know how to respond to that, so I was like, "Okay." We talked about more random stuff, some serious stuff and other random stuff and then decided to go back into the bedroom and watch some tv.
Funny story: We were watching the end of "Dirty Dancing," where Johnny and Baby do their big dance. So I told TDH about how my best friend from high school is getting married next year and she wanted to do Johnny and Baby's final dance with her fiance for their first dance at their wedding. TDH thought this was an awesome idea. My best friend's fiance did not. So, as we were watching the final dance, at the part where Baby and Johnny are dancing amongst the hotel guests, and Johnny lifts Baby above his head, not "The Lift," just where he's standing and she's standing and he lifts her, TDH says, "I bet we could do that!" I just laughed, thinking he wasn't serious. He was. He jumps out of bed, in his underwear, and says, "Come on! Let's try it!" So I get out of bed, in my bra and underwear, laughing hysterically at this point. TDH says, "Don't make fun of me if I can't do it. Johnny was really strong, he's lifting her from a dead stand. But you're like, what, 100 pounds? I think I can do it!" So, yeah, 6'4" TDH and little 5'4" me totally did this at 1am in our underwear. It was freaking hilarious! But we did it! TDH lifted me! Twice! So funny!
Anyways, after that, we had what we both now consider to be the best sex either of us have ever had. Absolutely mind-blowing. Then it was sleepy-time.
This morning we woke up and stayed in bed, just lounging around for a while, talking. At one point in our discussions from the night before, TDH had said that he doesn't know me, so I questioned him about this. He said, "I would hope that I don't fully know you yet. There's still more after the chocolate chip cookies, puppy dogs and rainbows stage." I laughed and said that of course there's more, but that I think we're past the "honeymoon" period of the relationship. At that point of the relationship, both people are still on their best behavior and I think we're past that at this point. He agreed, but he just wondered if we've fully seen each others flaws. I told him that he knows my flaws and that's my difficulty with being vulnerable, but that I'm obviously getting much better with that and then I gave him examples. I asked him what his flaws are and he asked me what I thought they are. I told him that I would think that it's that he tries to do everything and can maybe sometimes spread himself too thin. He agreed, but said that it's just because he wants to experience life. He said that he's been told in the past that he doesn't communicate well/clearly, but he thinks he does and he thinks it's more that those people didn't communicate well, not him.
At one point, I said something that came off totally wrong and I feel badly about. I asked what he's like in a fight - if he is an avoider and just tries to end the fight quickly even if it doesn't really get resolved, just so that the fighting can be avoided. Or if he is a total dick and really fights and insists that he's right, no matter what. I figured he would be one of the two, just because that's been typical of the guys I've dated in the past, and that was totally wrong of me to do. So TDH said, "So you've already prejudged me, huh?" I said, "I'm just guessing!" He said, "You think I'm a total dick, huh?" Then I felt awful. That is totally not how I meant it and I obviously do not think TDH is a dick, otherwise I wouldn't be with him. That's what I said to him and I apologized profusely. He laughed and said he was just joking and said there was no need to apologize, but I already felt so bad for saying what I said.
We had a nice day just laying around and finally around 4pm, it was time to get our lazy butts out of bed and time for TDH to go home.
Anyways, should be an easy work week for both TDH and I, we both have 3 day work weeks with the holiday weekend ahead. I don't have anything special planned for the long weekend though, so with Bra Girl, Blondie and most of my other friends out of town, I'm not sure what I'll be up to this weekend. I think TDH might be house-hunting this week and he wants my help, so that should be fun. He's also mentioned possibly planning and going on a Caribbean vacation together sometime in the fall too!
Tuesday evening, TDH came over after having drinks with his old roommate, he was a bit drunk, but he was wanting to have some fun in bed. Why is it that guys seem to forget that being drunk usually means having some troubles when it comes to sex? It doesn't bother me, but it only leads to them feeling embarrassed. The next morning, we woke up and TDH wanted us to cook a big breakfast - blueberry pancakes, bacon, english muffins, etc. So, we started cooking and when breakfast was ready, the beers from the night before caught up with him and he didn't feel well. I told him not to worry, that I didn't want him to eat just because I cooked. So I finished eating and we got back into bed and watched Back to the Future Part 3, while TDH recovered from his night of fun. It's so nice that we're both in sales and can go into work whenever we want! He left at around 1pm and I went off to work.
Wednesday night I went out with Bra Girl and Nik to watch some bands play. Friday evening, Blondie and I went out to dinner together for some delicious food. TDH was out of town for the night with some of his high school friends.
Yesterday afternoon, TDH came over to hang out and spend the evening with me. It was cute because we both didn't care what we did, it was just both of our priorities to be with each other. Initially, we were going to go see a friend's band play, but TDH was tired from the night before, so he kind of just wanted to veg out, but if I wanted to go out, he would take one for the team. I told him that I didn't care what we did, I just wanted to spend time with him, that was my priority for the night. He teased me for saying that. I was like, "I say something sweet and you make fun of me?!" (He knows it's hard for me to be vulnerable.) So we watched "Teen Wolf," had some fun in bed and then went out to dinner.
After we got back from dinner, we sat on the couch and were talking about random stuff. He was telling me about how his mom and dad ask about me every day. I told him I think that's cute. After talking more about random stuff, he told me that his mom likes/liked (can't remember which he said) his ex-girlfriend. Ugh. Why do guys say stuff like that?! I really didn't need to hear that. I didn't know how to respond to that, so I was like, "Okay." We talked about more random stuff, some serious stuff and other random stuff and then decided to go back into the bedroom and watch some tv.
Funny story: We were watching the end of "Dirty Dancing," where Johnny and Baby do their big dance. So I told TDH about how my best friend from high school is getting married next year and she wanted to do Johnny and Baby's final dance with her fiance for their first dance at their wedding. TDH thought this was an awesome idea. My best friend's fiance did not. So, as we were watching the final dance, at the part where Baby and Johnny are dancing amongst the hotel guests, and Johnny lifts Baby above his head, not "The Lift," just where he's standing and she's standing and he lifts her, TDH says, "I bet we could do that!" I just laughed, thinking he wasn't serious. He was. He jumps out of bed, in his underwear, and says, "Come on! Let's try it!" So I get out of bed, in my bra and underwear, laughing hysterically at this point. TDH says, "Don't make fun of me if I can't do it. Johnny was really strong, he's lifting her from a dead stand. But you're like, what, 100 pounds? I think I can do it!" So, yeah, 6'4" TDH and little 5'4" me totally did this at 1am in our underwear. It was freaking hilarious! But we did it! TDH lifted me! Twice! So funny!
Anyways, after that, we had what we both now consider to be the best sex either of us have ever had. Absolutely mind-blowing. Then it was sleepy-time.
This morning we woke up and stayed in bed, just lounging around for a while, talking. At one point in our discussions from the night before, TDH had said that he doesn't know me, so I questioned him about this. He said, "I would hope that I don't fully know you yet. There's still more after the chocolate chip cookies, puppy dogs and rainbows stage." I laughed and said that of course there's more, but that I think we're past the "honeymoon" period of the relationship. At that point of the relationship, both people are still on their best behavior and I think we're past that at this point. He agreed, but he just wondered if we've fully seen each others flaws. I told him that he knows my flaws and that's my difficulty with being vulnerable, but that I'm obviously getting much better with that and then I gave him examples. I asked him what his flaws are and he asked me what I thought they are. I told him that I would think that it's that he tries to do everything and can maybe sometimes spread himself too thin. He agreed, but said that it's just because he wants to experience life. He said that he's been told in the past that he doesn't communicate well/clearly, but he thinks he does and he thinks it's more that those people didn't communicate well, not him.
At one point, I said something that came off totally wrong and I feel badly about. I asked what he's like in a fight - if he is an avoider and just tries to end the fight quickly even if it doesn't really get resolved, just so that the fighting can be avoided. Or if he is a total dick and really fights and insists that he's right, no matter what. I figured he would be one of the two, just because that's been typical of the guys I've dated in the past, and that was totally wrong of me to do. So TDH said, "So you've already prejudged me, huh?" I said, "I'm just guessing!" He said, "You think I'm a total dick, huh?" Then I felt awful. That is totally not how I meant it and I obviously do not think TDH is a dick, otherwise I wouldn't be with him. That's what I said to him and I apologized profusely. He laughed and said he was just joking and said there was no need to apologize, but I already felt so bad for saying what I said.
We had a nice day just laying around and finally around 4pm, it was time to get our lazy butts out of bed and time for TDH to go home.
Anyways, should be an easy work week for both TDH and I, we both have 3 day work weeks with the holiday weekend ahead. I don't have anything special planned for the long weekend though, so with Bra Girl, Blondie and most of my other friends out of town, I'm not sure what I'll be up to this weekend. I think TDH might be house-hunting this week and he wants my help, so that should be fun. He's also mentioned possibly planning and going on a Caribbean vacation together sometime in the fall too!
Friday, November 2, 2007
Gloves are off
Well, it's finally Friday, so hopefully I'll get to relax and sleep in this weekend. BUT, hopefully my loft will have many people coming to look at it this weekend too! At least this weekend, unlike last weekend, I'll have some errands to run while realtors are showing my place. I have to go get my flu shot tomorrow and I want to go to Target to check out a couple of things. If I get hungry, there are a few options for me to try thanks to a Web site I found on Samantha's blog. But, for some reason, I could really go for an extra crispy chicken breast from KFC. (shhhhhh, don't tell anyone though! because I'm such a food snob, I can't believe I'm admitting that!)
Besides that, all is the same with The Swimmer. Had a good session with The Professional on Wednesday and she reminded me that even though The Swimmer is a sensitive guy, that I can't handle him with "kid gloves." I need to draw the line and tell him when enough is enough and when he's bitching a lot about things that when it comes down to it, have to do with his issues, I need to tell him that I can't help him with it anymore, i.e. he needs to see a therapist. This is because I'm finding that when he's constantly bitching about the same things over and over and over, I'm almost just holding the phone away from my ear because I'm so sick of hearing the same thing. Me, when I don't like something, instead of bitching about it, I do something to change it or I realize that I have no control over it so there is no point in complaining about it or I find out why it bothers me so much. So, I need to start drawing the line with The Swimmer because if I don't, I'm going to get burnt out. This isn't to say that things aren't going well between The Swimmer and I though! He's coming to visit in a week, so we're both very excited. Not sure what we'll do while he's here besides lots of bedroom activities! He's begging me to bake him an apple pie (yes, I make it from scratch and it's damn good! Thanks Tyler Florence!), so I'll do that. Otherwise I'm sure we'll see some movies and do other stuff. He also wants to plan a vacation with me to take in December - any suggestions? The Professional is suggesting Miami and The Keys - to combine a visit to South Florida as well as the beaches and fun of The Keys. . .
On the work front, all is pretty much the same. I had my regional manager work with me on Tuesday which was really, really good. He's such a good guy and totally different than my district manager. It was almost a little depressing because I was reminded what it's like to have a motivating manager. I didn't and couldn't tell him that I'm looking to move to a different city, but I did tell him that I'm very frustrated with my geography and that it's very difficult to do well in it. He was very understanding of my situation and was trying to think of ways he could help me and the girl I work with. He also understood my frustrations with my district manager. He was very encouraging though and told me to just keep doing what I'm doing and that I'm working the geography the right way, so things should get better. He's such a good guy, I felt a little bad not being able to tell him that I'm looking to move to another state, but I definitely couldn't.
Well, that's all for now, I just want to watch some stuff on my DVR and relax for a bit.
Besides that, all is the same with The Swimmer. Had a good session with The Professional on Wednesday and she reminded me that even though The Swimmer is a sensitive guy, that I can't handle him with "kid gloves." I need to draw the line and tell him when enough is enough and when he's bitching a lot about things that when it comes down to it, have to do with his issues, I need to tell him that I can't help him with it anymore, i.e. he needs to see a therapist. This is because I'm finding that when he's constantly bitching about the same things over and over and over, I'm almost just holding the phone away from my ear because I'm so sick of hearing the same thing. Me, when I don't like something, instead of bitching about it, I do something to change it or I realize that I have no control over it so there is no point in complaining about it or I find out why it bothers me so much. So, I need to start drawing the line with The Swimmer because if I don't, I'm going to get burnt out. This isn't to say that things aren't going well between The Swimmer and I though! He's coming to visit in a week, so we're both very excited. Not sure what we'll do while he's here besides lots of bedroom activities! He's begging me to bake him an apple pie (yes, I make it from scratch and it's damn good! Thanks Tyler Florence!), so I'll do that. Otherwise I'm sure we'll see some movies and do other stuff. He also wants to plan a vacation with me to take in December - any suggestions? The Professional is suggesting Miami and The Keys - to combine a visit to South Florida as well as the beaches and fun of The Keys. . .
On the work front, all is pretty much the same. I had my regional manager work with me on Tuesday which was really, really good. He's such a good guy and totally different than my district manager. It was almost a little depressing because I was reminded what it's like to have a motivating manager. I didn't and couldn't tell him that I'm looking to move to a different city, but I did tell him that I'm very frustrated with my geography and that it's very difficult to do well in it. He was very understanding of my situation and was trying to think of ways he could help me and the girl I work with. He also understood my frustrations with my district manager. He was very encouraging though and told me to just keep doing what I'm doing and that I'm working the geography the right way, so things should get better. He's such a good guy, I felt a little bad not being able to tell him that I'm looking to move to another state, but I definitely couldn't.
Well, that's all for now, I just want to watch some stuff on my DVR and relax for a bit.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
The Birthday
Well, I am now officially 26 years old. Not old by any means, but it was definitely a hard one for me to accept. Nothing really special about the day, I worked like usual and ran around, still trying to find a cute top or dress to wear out to dinner on Friday night.
Can I say something without sounding like a spoiled brat or anything? I'm kind of sad about the presents. I still have one present to get and that is from The Swimmer when he comes tomorrow night. My Mom is kind of in a financial bind right now, so I told her not to get me anything and I'm okay with that, but she still did send me some really gorgeous orchids. Otherwise though, the one person I was counting on getting a good present from, Crazy Girl, completely and totally disappointed me to the point where I am so sad and really angry at her. First of all, Crazy Girl and I went out to dinner last night. She didn't even offer to pay for my dinner. I was shocked, but didn't say anything. Then, she gave me my present.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
A $5 t-shirt from Wal-Mart. SERIOUSLY?! After I put so much thought into her birthday gift last year? She loves perfume but always has such a hard time picking out perfume for herself, so when I saw that Sephora had this little gift thing where it's a set of like 8 or 10 little samples of different perfumes and then a gift card to get one of the perfumes. Totally the perfect gift for her and she loved it. She then gets me a $5 t-shirt for my birthday?
I could totally understand if she were going through money problems or something, but she definitely isn't. This is the friend who was in the hospital a few weeks ago and I sat in her hospital room with her for 5 hours everyday and brought her stuff to keep her entertained because that is what I thought she would do for me. Now I'm not so sure. The sucky thing is, I can't even tell her that I'm pissed off. I just don't understand why she would do something like that.
I really don't mean to sound bratty or ungrateful, but I'm really upset about this. I just come from the "school of thought" that you kind of give someone a gift of comparable value to what they have given you unless you are not of the means to. Does that make sense? I mean, it's not like I'm rich and she isn't. We have the same job at the same company, and if anything, she makes more and her mortgage is less.
For some reason, this has really upset me today and the more I think about it, the more pissed off I get. I returned the shirt today because the more I looked at it, the angrier I got, I just had to get it out of my possession.
What sucks is that this almost makes things totally unfair for The Swimmer. He doesn't know it, but his present is really the only real present I'm getting this year (besides good health, family and friends), so I'm really hoping I like it. I hate that I feel like I'm being such a spoiled brat for being sad about my lack of material presents. It makes me sad that I'm caring about that when I should be happy for everything that I already have - the best Mom in the world, a hilarious, sweet, loving and spoiled kitty, a great job with many benefits, a beautiful home that I own, I'm debt-free, I have a nice savings account, a nice 401K, many caring friends, loving family and last but not least a truly sweet and caring boyfriend.
Anyways, I'm sure this weekend will be very relaxing, it better be, because I'm exhausted and I could really use some relaxation!!
Can I say something without sounding like a spoiled brat or anything? I'm kind of sad about the presents. I still have one present to get and that is from The Swimmer when he comes tomorrow night. My Mom is kind of in a financial bind right now, so I told her not to get me anything and I'm okay with that, but she still did send me some really gorgeous orchids. Otherwise though, the one person I was counting on getting a good present from, Crazy Girl, completely and totally disappointed me to the point where I am so sad and really angry at her. First of all, Crazy Girl and I went out to dinner last night. She didn't even offer to pay for my dinner. I was shocked, but didn't say anything. Then, she gave me my present.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
A $5 t-shirt from Wal-Mart. SERIOUSLY?! After I put so much thought into her birthday gift last year? She loves perfume but always has such a hard time picking out perfume for herself, so when I saw that Sephora had this little gift thing where it's a set of like 8 or 10 little samples of different perfumes and then a gift card to get one of the perfumes. Totally the perfect gift for her and she loved it. She then gets me a $5 t-shirt for my birthday?
I could totally understand if she were going through money problems or something, but she definitely isn't. This is the friend who was in the hospital a few weeks ago and I sat in her hospital room with her for 5 hours everyday and brought her stuff to keep her entertained because that is what I thought she would do for me. Now I'm not so sure. The sucky thing is, I can't even tell her that I'm pissed off. I just don't understand why she would do something like that.
I really don't mean to sound bratty or ungrateful, but I'm really upset about this. I just come from the "school of thought" that you kind of give someone a gift of comparable value to what they have given you unless you are not of the means to. Does that make sense? I mean, it's not like I'm rich and she isn't. We have the same job at the same company, and if anything, she makes more and her mortgage is less.
For some reason, this has really upset me today and the more I think about it, the more pissed off I get. I returned the shirt today because the more I looked at it, the angrier I got, I just had to get it out of my possession.
What sucks is that this almost makes things totally unfair for The Swimmer. He doesn't know it, but his present is really the only real present I'm getting this year (besides good health, family and friends), so I'm really hoping I like it. I hate that I feel like I'm being such a spoiled brat for being sad about my lack of material presents. It makes me sad that I'm caring about that when I should be happy for everything that I already have - the best Mom in the world, a hilarious, sweet, loving and spoiled kitty, a great job with many benefits, a beautiful home that I own, I'm debt-free, I have a nice savings account, a nice 401K, many caring friends, loving family and last but not least a truly sweet and caring boyfriend.
Anyways, I'm sure this weekend will be very relaxing, it better be, because I'm exhausted and I could really use some relaxation!!
Friday, August 24, 2007
The Weekend is Finally Here!
So, I'm watching Back to the Future for the fourth time this week, I know, a little ridiculous. I just can't get enough of this movie! I always get excited when I see it's on and everytime I watch it, even though I've seen it a thousand times, I notice new little things.
I'm taking it easy this weekend, still tired from taking the red eye back from LA. I have to work a convention for a few hours tomorrow, so that sucks, but I really can't complain because that happens once or twice a year. After the convention thing I'm going to the mall to try to find a cute top to wear to my birthday dinner next weekend when The Swimmer is in town.
Also, maybe everyone can help me here, what do you all think of the whole skinny jeans in tall boots look? (When it's cold out obviously!) I like it on other people, but I've never tried it on me. I'm just not sure how it would look. I guess it comes back to what I was explaining to Crazy Girl earlier - "Once you were a fat girl, you're always a fat girl in your head." So, back when I was about 15, I put on a bunch of weight for no reason at all. I went from about a size 4 to a size 12/14. Then, when I was about 17, it just dropped off of me and I went down to a size 2. I have now leveled off at a small size 4 or a size 27 is those designer jeans like Seven or Citizens. I may be 5'4" and a small size 4 or in some cases a size 2, but in my head, I'm still a size 12/14. So, yes, I'm skinny by most standards, but sometimes it's hard for me to see it that way. Now, back to the whole skinny jeans in boots thing... I'm just not sure if I can pull that look off. I feel like it might make me look fat. So, tomorrow after the convention, I'm going to change into my skinny jeans and try on boots with them at Nordstroms before I buy a pair of boots that I can wear with them. I wonder if that trend will even be in this year, but I can still use a new pair of tall boots anyways.
The big birthday is on Tuesday, but the real celebration won't be until the weekend when The Swimmer is in town. Crazy Girl and I are going to go out to dinner on Tuesday though so that I won't be eating dinner alone on my birthday. We'll be having our own special "Lover's Dinner" as we're calling it, but it will be fun.
Off to bed. . .
Oh, and I'm not saying that a size 12 or 14 is fat. Just that a size 12/14 on me was definitely overweight and not healthy. And a size 2 or 4 on me is by no means Nicole Richie-like, definitely more Jessica Simpson like with my proportions, especially my ta-tas/jugs/girls/twins, whatever you want to call them, even though I got a reduction almost 2 years ago, they are still more than a handful, but they don't look like a 60 year old's boobs!
I'm taking it easy this weekend, still tired from taking the red eye back from LA. I have to work a convention for a few hours tomorrow, so that sucks, but I really can't complain because that happens once or twice a year. After the convention thing I'm going to the mall to try to find a cute top to wear to my birthday dinner next weekend when The Swimmer is in town.
Also, maybe everyone can help me here, what do you all think of the whole skinny jeans in tall boots look? (When it's cold out obviously!) I like it on other people, but I've never tried it on me. I'm just not sure how it would look. I guess it comes back to what I was explaining to Crazy Girl earlier - "Once you were a fat girl, you're always a fat girl in your head." So, back when I was about 15, I put on a bunch of weight for no reason at all. I went from about a size 4 to a size 12/14. Then, when I was about 17, it just dropped off of me and I went down to a size 2. I have now leveled off at a small size 4 or a size 27 is those designer jeans like Seven or Citizens. I may be 5'4" and a small size 4 or in some cases a size 2, but in my head, I'm still a size 12/14. So, yes, I'm skinny by most standards, but sometimes it's hard for me to see it that way. Now, back to the whole skinny jeans in boots thing... I'm just not sure if I can pull that look off. I feel like it might make me look fat. So, tomorrow after the convention, I'm going to change into my skinny jeans and try on boots with them at Nordstroms before I buy a pair of boots that I can wear with them. I wonder if that trend will even be in this year, but I can still use a new pair of tall boots anyways.
The big birthday is on Tuesday, but the real celebration won't be until the weekend when The Swimmer is in town. Crazy Girl and I are going to go out to dinner on Tuesday though so that I won't be eating dinner alone on my birthday. We'll be having our own special "Lover's Dinner" as we're calling it, but it will be fun.
Off to bed. . .
Oh, and I'm not saying that a size 12 or 14 is fat. Just that a size 12/14 on me was definitely overweight and not healthy. And a size 2 or 4 on me is by no means Nicole Richie-like, definitely more Jessica Simpson like with my proportions, especially my ta-tas/jugs/girls/twins, whatever you want to call them, even though I got a reduction almost 2 years ago, they are still more than a handful, but they don't look like a 60 year old's boobs!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Doctors, cooking and The Swimmer
Not too much new, just been really busy this past week with work and doctor's appointments. I'm having a new type of migraine so I was trying to get in to see my neurologist. After that failed and the office staff really pissed me off, I was able to get in to see a new neurologist. He was okay, but I'm going to try to see my old old neurologist this week to see what he has to say. One thing that ticked me off about the new neurologist was that he suggested I start a certain medication, but then seemed to rush me when I wanted to ask questions about it. He also doses this medication different than any other doctor does which alarms me. One thing I didn't like that he had to say was that I should get off my birth control pill and switch to a progesterone only pill, no thank you! The reasoning for that is that women who get migraines with aura, which I now have, are at higher risk for stroke. But, I don't smoke and I have low blood pressure and exercise regularly and I'm young, almost 26, so can't I take a low-dose aspirin daily to off-set the risk? This is why I want to get a second opinion. So, hopefully I'll be able to get in to see my old neuro to advise me. I will say though, that these auras are pretty scary - I pretty much go blind in one eye for almost 30 minutes, I get numbness in my hand, arm and face and have trouble speaking - like I can't find words. When I had the first one, right before my last trip to LA, I thought I was having a stroke, it wasn't fun. One bonus to the new medication I would be starting (recommended not only by this new neuro, but by a neurologist friend of my father's) is that a lot of people lose weight on it. I don't really need to lose weight, I'm a size 4, but it would be nice to lose 5 pounds off my belly, then I wouldn't feel so self-conscious when The Swimmer grabs me there.
Besides the medical drama that is my life, I made a very big purchase on Thursday that I feel slighty guilty about, but not guilty enough to return it. I bought a very expensive designer bag that I have been drooling over. I did get a $150 gift card with this purchase, so that was nice, it will be part of my Mom's birthday present.
I was also going to cook Linguine with White Clam Sauce this past Monday, but I had to abort that. I went through all of the trouble of finding the ingredients and getting the clams. Then, when it was time to clean the (live) clams before cooking them, I picked one up, and part of the clam inside was trying to escape. I was too grossed out to continue, so I brought the whole bag of clams down to my neighbor's and then ate a piece of toast for dinner. I was too grossed out to eat anything else.
I fared better with the cooking last night, I made Pan Roasted Chilean Sea Bass with a soy ginger dipping sauce and stir-fried vegetables. Yum! That is also what I will be eating tonight for dinner. I love leftovers!! I also baked my favorite: Ghirardelli Double Chocolate Brownies. And, so I wouldn't feel so guilty about eating brownies, I replace the oil in the recipe with unsweetened applesauce. It really cuts the fat and you can't taste the difference at all.
As for The Swimmer, I am going to visit him once more before he comes to visit me for my birthday on Labor Day weekend. I will be going the weekend of Aug. 17, so yay! And as far as the whole sex without a condom thing, I think I'm open to that as long as he doesn't cum inside me. I will still want to have a good discussion about it with him before we do it, but I'm definitely open to it now.
Well, must put my clean sheets on the bed - YAY! - and then relax some more. Hope everyone had a nice weekend!
Besides the medical drama that is my life, I made a very big purchase on Thursday that I feel slighty guilty about, but not guilty enough to return it. I bought a very expensive designer bag that I have been drooling over. I did get a $150 gift card with this purchase, so that was nice, it will be part of my Mom's birthday present.
I was also going to cook Linguine with White Clam Sauce this past Monday, but I had to abort that. I went through all of the trouble of finding the ingredients and getting the clams. Then, when it was time to clean the (live) clams before cooking them, I picked one up, and part of the clam inside was trying to escape. I was too grossed out to continue, so I brought the whole bag of clams down to my neighbor's and then ate a piece of toast for dinner. I was too grossed out to eat anything else.
I fared better with the cooking last night, I made Pan Roasted Chilean Sea Bass with a soy ginger dipping sauce and stir-fried vegetables. Yum! That is also what I will be eating tonight for dinner. I love leftovers!! I also baked my favorite: Ghirardelli Double Chocolate Brownies. And, so I wouldn't feel so guilty about eating brownies, I replace the oil in the recipe with unsweetened applesauce. It really cuts the fat and you can't taste the difference at all.
As for The Swimmer, I am going to visit him once more before he comes to visit me for my birthday on Labor Day weekend. I will be going the weekend of Aug. 17, so yay! And as far as the whole sex without a condom thing, I think I'm open to that as long as he doesn't cum inside me. I will still want to have a good discussion about it with him before we do it, but I'm definitely open to it now.
Well, must put my clean sheets on the bed - YAY! - and then relax some more. Hope everyone had a nice weekend!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Long Overdue. . .
Where oh where to begin?!
Well, I ended up going to LA on Wednesday instead of Tuesday because I was just so exhausted from worrying about the health issues. My luggage didn't make it on my flight, but I stayed at the airport an extra half hour to wait for the next flight in the hopes that my bag was there. Sure enough it was, so I took a Super Shuttle from the airport to The Swimmer's mom's house for dinner. I got there and met his sister, his brother and his brother's girlfriend for the first time and saw his mom and grandma again. Dinner was good, I was just so exhausted from the flight and the luggage debaucle, but I guess I still managed to make a good impression on the rest of his family because the reviews were: "She's beautiful!" "She's smart and intellectual!" "We really like her!" I also saw most of the family on Friday night at the restaurant The Swimmer and I went to for dinner, but we just chatted for a couple of minutes. Once we got back to his place, while he showered, I decorated his room with birthday decorations to surprise him which he really liked. Then he got his presents. He was happy! I did a good job! YAY!
Thursday I picked up my rental car, got waxed in my "special place" and made a beeline for Jamba Juice. That stuff is like crack. I can not get enough of the Jamba Juice. I don't know what they put in it, but once I have one, I must have one again the next day and the next. Other smoothies just don't compare. I walked along Rodeo Drive to relax and then got insanely lost trying to find my way back to The Swimmer's neighborhood to do some grocery shopping. After ending up in a shady neighborhood, I turned off the "blonde moment" I had apparently been having and found my way to The Swimmer's neighborhood. Did some grocery shopping, ate lunch, some more grocery shopping and then relaxed at The Swimmer's place. He came home and I cooked dinner. We ate, he did the cleaning up (yay! I hate that part!) and then we relaxed. Friday I went to the Beverly Center as soon as I found out they have an H&M there. Bought a few tops then went to Jamba Juice to get my fix before it was time to return the rental car. Friday night, the Swimmer and I went to dinner and then just relaxed. Saturday we met up with one of his friends and hung out for a little bit, but it was too hot out so The Swimmer and I retreated to his living room to relax in the air conditioning. We then went to the phone store so he could pick out his birthday present. We met up with his friend and his friend's girlfriend again for dinner which was fun - lots of storytelling since they've known each other since high school. Sunday we lazed around before catching a late afternoon movie - "Transformers." Amazing movie! I loved it! Easily one of the coolest movies I've seen in a long, long time. We picked up some dinner, ate and watched Entourage. Had a discussion about the whole moving thing again, but it was good. He had work Monday, so I lazed around, slept in and relaxed. Monday night was pretty much dinner and then me being sad and The Swimmer comforting me. Then there was the tearful parting at the airport.
I was so exhausted last week after getting home on the red eye, an early conference call for work Wednesday morning, an early work meeting on Thursday morning and then a busy Friday that I did a whole lot of nothing all weekend. I basically slept in until 11:30am both days and didn't do much all day.
Things with The Swimmer and I are going really well - he continues to be incredibly sweet, sensitive, reassuring and caring which is really nice to see after being together for 6 months. Wow! I can't believe it's been 6 months already. Crazy!
So The Swimmer went and had his yearly physical today. He got a clean bill of health from his doctor. Then he told me that he asked the doctor to test him for all of the STDs and HIV. He told me he did this to reassure me and for my UTIs. I laughed and asked how that would help with that issue. (Which taking a cranberry supplement and drinking a lot of water when I see the Swimmer has REALLY helped.) He said then we could have sex without condoms. (The condoms might be irritating the urinary tract) I told him we'd have to really talk about that.
Hmmmmm..... Not sure how I feel about that. I've only had sex without a condom once and that was with my first boyfriend who I was with for over 2 years and I didn't let him finish inside me. Even though I'm on the Pill and I've been on it for 8 years and take it exactly how I'm supposed to, I think I would get paranoid about getting pregnant. I don't think I'd want him to "finish" inside me. For some reason, and this may sound silly, I feel like that's something really special that should be saved. I sound like someone talking about saving their virginity, but that's kind of what it's like - saving my "cum" virginity - for lack of a better word. I don't know. I think The Swimmer and I will have to really talk about it before I will agree to it. What do you all think?
Here's another big step for me. . . I've gone down on The Swimmer more than with any other guy. It's just something I've never liked doing, but don't mind doing for The Swimmer during foreplay. It's strange, but it just doesn't bother me anymore. I do have my rules - no finishing in my mouth (it's just part of foreplay for me), no touching my head or pulling on my hair, just sit back and enjoy. But I don't feel like any of that is asking too much if I'm going to do it. The Swimmer likes it, but I told him it's not something I'll do all the time and he's happy with that and he's always willing and wanting to reciprocate. It's not really a turn on for me so much, I just know that he enjoys it and that makes me happy. And while I'm doing it, I'm looking forward to the fantastic sex we always have. So it's a win-win situation in my eyes!
Well, that's probably more than any of you want to know about or maybe not, but it's out there! More stories to come, I'm just ready for bed now so more tomorrow!
Well, I ended up going to LA on Wednesday instead of Tuesday because I was just so exhausted from worrying about the health issues. My luggage didn't make it on my flight, but I stayed at the airport an extra half hour to wait for the next flight in the hopes that my bag was there. Sure enough it was, so I took a Super Shuttle from the airport to The Swimmer's mom's house for dinner. I got there and met his sister, his brother and his brother's girlfriend for the first time and saw his mom and grandma again. Dinner was good, I was just so exhausted from the flight and the luggage debaucle, but I guess I still managed to make a good impression on the rest of his family because the reviews were: "She's beautiful!" "She's smart and intellectual!" "We really like her!" I also saw most of the family on Friday night at the restaurant The Swimmer and I went to for dinner, but we just chatted for a couple of minutes. Once we got back to his place, while he showered, I decorated his room with birthday decorations to surprise him which he really liked. Then he got his presents. He was happy! I did a good job! YAY!
Thursday I picked up my rental car, got waxed in my "special place" and made a beeline for Jamba Juice. That stuff is like crack. I can not get enough of the Jamba Juice. I don't know what they put in it, but once I have one, I must have one again the next day and the next. Other smoothies just don't compare. I walked along Rodeo Drive to relax and then got insanely lost trying to find my way back to The Swimmer's neighborhood to do some grocery shopping. After ending up in a shady neighborhood, I turned off the "blonde moment" I had apparently been having and found my way to The Swimmer's neighborhood. Did some grocery shopping, ate lunch, some more grocery shopping and then relaxed at The Swimmer's place. He came home and I cooked dinner. We ate, he did the cleaning up (yay! I hate that part!) and then we relaxed. Friday I went to the Beverly Center as soon as I found out they have an H&M there. Bought a few tops then went to Jamba Juice to get my fix before it was time to return the rental car. Friday night, the Swimmer and I went to dinner and then just relaxed. Saturday we met up with one of his friends and hung out for a little bit, but it was too hot out so The Swimmer and I retreated to his living room to relax in the air conditioning. We then went to the phone store so he could pick out his birthday present. We met up with his friend and his friend's girlfriend again for dinner which was fun - lots of storytelling since they've known each other since high school. Sunday we lazed around before catching a late afternoon movie - "Transformers." Amazing movie! I loved it! Easily one of the coolest movies I've seen in a long, long time. We picked up some dinner, ate and watched Entourage. Had a discussion about the whole moving thing again, but it was good. He had work Monday, so I lazed around, slept in and relaxed. Monday night was pretty much dinner and then me being sad and The Swimmer comforting me. Then there was the tearful parting at the airport.
I was so exhausted last week after getting home on the red eye, an early conference call for work Wednesday morning, an early work meeting on Thursday morning and then a busy Friday that I did a whole lot of nothing all weekend. I basically slept in until 11:30am both days and didn't do much all day.
Things with The Swimmer and I are going really well - he continues to be incredibly sweet, sensitive, reassuring and caring which is really nice to see after being together for 6 months. Wow! I can't believe it's been 6 months already. Crazy!
So The Swimmer went and had his yearly physical today. He got a clean bill of health from his doctor. Then he told me that he asked the doctor to test him for all of the STDs and HIV. He told me he did this to reassure me and for my UTIs. I laughed and asked how that would help with that issue. (Which taking a cranberry supplement and drinking a lot of water when I see the Swimmer has REALLY helped.) He said then we could have sex without condoms. (The condoms might be irritating the urinary tract) I told him we'd have to really talk about that.
Hmmmmm..... Not sure how I feel about that. I've only had sex without a condom once and that was with my first boyfriend who I was with for over 2 years and I didn't let him finish inside me. Even though I'm on the Pill and I've been on it for 8 years and take it exactly how I'm supposed to, I think I would get paranoid about getting pregnant. I don't think I'd want him to "finish" inside me. For some reason, and this may sound silly, I feel like that's something really special that should be saved. I sound like someone talking about saving their virginity, but that's kind of what it's like - saving my "cum" virginity - for lack of a better word. I don't know. I think The Swimmer and I will have to really talk about it before I will agree to it. What do you all think?
Here's another big step for me. . . I've gone down on The Swimmer more than with any other guy. It's just something I've never liked doing, but don't mind doing for The Swimmer during foreplay. It's strange, but it just doesn't bother me anymore. I do have my rules - no finishing in my mouth (it's just part of foreplay for me), no touching my head or pulling on my hair, just sit back and enjoy. But I don't feel like any of that is asking too much if I'm going to do it. The Swimmer likes it, but I told him it's not something I'll do all the time and he's happy with that and he's always willing and wanting to reciprocate. It's not really a turn on for me so much, I just know that he enjoys it and that makes me happy. And while I'm doing it, I'm looking forward to the fantastic sex we always have. So it's a win-win situation in my eyes!
Well, that's probably more than any of you want to know about or maybe not, but it's out there! More stories to come, I'm just ready for bed now so more tomorrow!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Long Overdue. . .
So I know an update is long overdue. Things have just been very crazy and busy over the past week. Overall, my trip to LA to visit The Swimmer was great.
Got in early Thursday evening and pretty much just relaxed. Friday, The Swimmer worked all day and I relaxed. The Swimmer didn't say anything since I got to LA about meeting his family, so I was wondering if he didn't want that anymore. I didn't say anything though and figured I would just keep quiet until mid-way through dinner. So, The Swimmer got back from work, we hung out for a bit and then went for sushi. He said that we'd eat dinner and then go back to his place and watch a movie. So I asked if he still wanted to stop by his Grandma's. He said, Yes, of course, that he hadn't said anything because he didn't want me to get too nervous. So, after dinner we stopped by hig Grandma's. She is this adorable little Israeli old lady. I couldn't understand a lot of what she said because she seemed to have a pretty thick accent, but I heard her say how beautiful I am and asked me when I'm moving to LA. She was so cute. We then went next door to his Mom's and surprised her. We ended up hanging out there for about an hour and a half and I also met his Mom's fiance. The Swimmer even brought up how inexpensive real estate is where I live compared to LA and his Mom kept asking more about that. I was shocked, but definitely pleased he brought that up. After that, we just went back to his place and watched a movie.
We both woke up at about 4am to go pee, but I had a sudden, huge feeling of nausea. I told The Swimmer and he tried to make me feel better, but it just got worse. I went to the bathroom and called my Mom to try to talk me down. My cell phone died after a little bit and The Swimmer came to sit with me. After about an hour and fifteen minutes, I was finally able to take an Ativan to go to sleep. Not exactly how I wanted to start off the weekend. The Swimmer told me the next day that he had been feeling a bit queasy too, but didn't want to say anything because he knew it would freak me out.
Saturday night, we went to see The Police. It was definitely quite an experience and so much fun. Sunday, we relaxed and decided to go see a movie. Before we left for the theater, I got paranoid that I was getting a lovely UTI, so I thought it would be a great idea to drink 3 bottles of water and then another bottle when we got to the theater. Smart, huh? Such a blonde moment on my part! I had to get up 4 times during the movie to run to the bathroom.
Monday, The Swimmer went to work, so I slept in late and was quite a bum all day, but I liked it! The Swimmer came home, we went to grab take out and then spent some extra "quality time" together before going to the airport. Fantastic "quality time" I might add! On the way to the airport, I started getting scared that I was going to have a panic attack. Sure enough, I got one. The ride was very bumpy, the airport was the most chaotic I had ever seen it and I didn't want to have another one since I had had one Friday night. After checking it, I told The Swimmer that he could leave and that there was nothing he could do to calm me down from this panic attack. He wasn't happy about it, but I wasn't going to hear otherwise. I trekked to the security line and after making it through, I went to my crowded, noisy gate. I managed to take an Ativan, but it couldn't start working fast enough. As my luck would have it, my flight was delayed. The Swimmer called to check on me and I told him I would call him back in a bit. I called my Mom and she helped calm me down a bit. I just knew that as soon as I got on the plane, I would feel better. Talked to the Swimmer again who was trying his hardest to make me feel better. As soon as I got on the plane, I felt better within 10 minutes.
Saw The Professional today to try to get to the bottom of the panic attacks. When I described what happened in the middle of the night for that first attack, she said that it sounds like it wasn't a panic attack, it was definitely from dinner. She said that it was amazing and such a good thing that even when I thought I was going to throw up, I wanted The Swimmer there to comfort me. This is HUGE for me. To feel close enough and comfortable enough with a guy to feel like I wanted him there at that moment. Normally, in a situation like that, I would have locked the bathroom door and not let him in. As far as the panic attack on Monday night, that was from a feeling that I was only "allowed" or "alotted" a certain number of panic attacks in front of him and after that amount, it's not allowed. This is only from past experience and not from anything or anyway The Swimmer has made me feel. So, after seeing The Professional today, I talked to him and told him this. He reassured me that it doesn't matter to him how many panic attacks I have, that he just doesn't like it when I'm upset and that he wants to do everything he can to help me in that situation. He's so sweet! Thankfully, I see The Professional again once more before I leave for LA in a week.
So, any suggestions on birthday presents for The Swimmer? I need to find out if he has business cards. If he does, I'll get him a business card case with his initials on it and a business card holder for his desk. If not, I don't know what to get him. He has plenty of nice clothes, watches, wallets, etc.
Got in early Thursday evening and pretty much just relaxed. Friday, The Swimmer worked all day and I relaxed. The Swimmer didn't say anything since I got to LA about meeting his family, so I was wondering if he didn't want that anymore. I didn't say anything though and figured I would just keep quiet until mid-way through dinner. So, The Swimmer got back from work, we hung out for a bit and then went for sushi. He said that we'd eat dinner and then go back to his place and watch a movie. So I asked if he still wanted to stop by his Grandma's. He said, Yes, of course, that he hadn't said anything because he didn't want me to get too nervous. So, after dinner we stopped by hig Grandma's. She is this adorable little Israeli old lady. I couldn't understand a lot of what she said because she seemed to have a pretty thick accent, but I heard her say how beautiful I am and asked me when I'm moving to LA. She was so cute. We then went next door to his Mom's and surprised her. We ended up hanging out there for about an hour and a half and I also met his Mom's fiance. The Swimmer even brought up how inexpensive real estate is where I live compared to LA and his Mom kept asking more about that. I was shocked, but definitely pleased he brought that up. After that, we just went back to his place and watched a movie.
We both woke up at about 4am to go pee, but I had a sudden, huge feeling of nausea. I told The Swimmer and he tried to make me feel better, but it just got worse. I went to the bathroom and called my Mom to try to talk me down. My cell phone died after a little bit and The Swimmer came to sit with me. After about an hour and fifteen minutes, I was finally able to take an Ativan to go to sleep. Not exactly how I wanted to start off the weekend. The Swimmer told me the next day that he had been feeling a bit queasy too, but didn't want to say anything because he knew it would freak me out.
Saturday night, we went to see The Police. It was definitely quite an experience and so much fun. Sunday, we relaxed and decided to go see a movie. Before we left for the theater, I got paranoid that I was getting a lovely UTI, so I thought it would be a great idea to drink 3 bottles of water and then another bottle when we got to the theater. Smart, huh? Such a blonde moment on my part! I had to get up 4 times during the movie to run to the bathroom.
Monday, The Swimmer went to work, so I slept in late and was quite a bum all day, but I liked it! The Swimmer came home, we went to grab take out and then spent some extra "quality time" together before going to the airport. Fantastic "quality time" I might add! On the way to the airport, I started getting scared that I was going to have a panic attack. Sure enough, I got one. The ride was very bumpy, the airport was the most chaotic I had ever seen it and I didn't want to have another one since I had had one Friday night. After checking it, I told The Swimmer that he could leave and that there was nothing he could do to calm me down from this panic attack. He wasn't happy about it, but I wasn't going to hear otherwise. I trekked to the security line and after making it through, I went to my crowded, noisy gate. I managed to take an Ativan, but it couldn't start working fast enough. As my luck would have it, my flight was delayed. The Swimmer called to check on me and I told him I would call him back in a bit. I called my Mom and she helped calm me down a bit. I just knew that as soon as I got on the plane, I would feel better. Talked to the Swimmer again who was trying his hardest to make me feel better. As soon as I got on the plane, I felt better within 10 minutes.
Saw The Professional today to try to get to the bottom of the panic attacks. When I described what happened in the middle of the night for that first attack, she said that it sounds like it wasn't a panic attack, it was definitely from dinner. She said that it was amazing and such a good thing that even when I thought I was going to throw up, I wanted The Swimmer there to comfort me. This is HUGE for me. To feel close enough and comfortable enough with a guy to feel like I wanted him there at that moment. Normally, in a situation like that, I would have locked the bathroom door and not let him in. As far as the panic attack on Monday night, that was from a feeling that I was only "allowed" or "alotted" a certain number of panic attacks in front of him and after that amount, it's not allowed. This is only from past experience and not from anything or anyway The Swimmer has made me feel. So, after seeing The Professional today, I talked to him and told him this. He reassured me that it doesn't matter to him how many panic attacks I have, that he just doesn't like it when I'm upset and that he wants to do everything he can to help me in that situation. He's so sweet! Thankfully, I see The Professional again once more before I leave for LA in a week.
So, any suggestions on birthday presents for The Swimmer? I need to find out if he has business cards. If he does, I'll get him a business card case with his initials on it and a business card holder for his desk. If not, I don't know what to get him. He has plenty of nice clothes, watches, wallets, etc.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Questions. . .
Well, I had a delightful weekend playing the Wii and relaxing. I managed to restrain myself from playing too much, for fear that I would get "Wiiitis." Yes, that is a real thing.
Anyways, off to LA in just a couple of days to see The Swimmer and I can't wait. I just hope that my flare up of my stomach condition calms down before then because it would not be fun traveling on the stomach I have had for the past few days. Positive thinking though and hopefully I will be all better before Thursday. And. . . it looks like I will be meeting his family some time this weekend. His grandma and mother ask about me all the time and they want to meet me, so it will be happening. Luckily I don't think it will be a full-on sit down dinner with them, so that definitely alleviates a lot of the pressure. I'm sure I'll be nervous anyways just because I want to make a good impression since he is pretty close with them and I'm sure their opinion of me will mean a lot to him. SO.... that is just one of the things this weekend holds for me!
I will be seeing The Professional on Wednesday, so that will be good for before I go to LA. I'm sure The Professional will be happy to hear that when I told The Swimmer I had a panic attack last week and I called my Mom, he told me that I can also call him too if I wanted to. And, hearing that my stomach thing is flaring up, he told me that he wishes he were here so he could take care of me, snuggle me and make me tea and toast so I'll feel better. He's so sweet! I think he's a keeper! OH! AND! He also brought up the whole, "How many kids do you want" question today. I was shocked and pleased that I didn't have to bring that up. He asked it by saying if I would be able to deal with the morning sickness and all with pregnancy and when I laughed about it, he said something about having five children, I was like, "What?!" He said he was just kidding and asked how many kids I want. I told him one or two and asked him how many he wants and he said two or three. If he had been serious about five, that definitely would have warranted a serious discussion about how serious he is about that, because I am certainly not going to bear five children, no thank you! And trust me, even knowing he wants two or three, there will still be much discussion (not right now though) about how he plans on raising those kids, etc. Because I will certainly not be a little housewife spending all of my time with the kids, it MUST be 50/50 and a total partnership. Anyways, that's all for now, I'm exhausted!
Anyways, off to LA in just a couple of days to see The Swimmer and I can't wait. I just hope that my flare up of my stomach condition calms down before then because it would not be fun traveling on the stomach I have had for the past few days. Positive thinking though and hopefully I will be all better before Thursday. And. . . it looks like I will be meeting his family some time this weekend. His grandma and mother ask about me all the time and they want to meet me, so it will be happening. Luckily I don't think it will be a full-on sit down dinner with them, so that definitely alleviates a lot of the pressure. I'm sure I'll be nervous anyways just because I want to make a good impression since he is pretty close with them and I'm sure their opinion of me will mean a lot to him. SO.... that is just one of the things this weekend holds for me!
I will be seeing The Professional on Wednesday, so that will be good for before I go to LA. I'm sure The Professional will be happy to hear that when I told The Swimmer I had a panic attack last week and I called my Mom, he told me that I can also call him too if I wanted to. And, hearing that my stomach thing is flaring up, he told me that he wishes he were here so he could take care of me, snuggle me and make me tea and toast so I'll feel better. He's so sweet! I think he's a keeper! OH! AND! He also brought up the whole, "How many kids do you want" question today. I was shocked and pleased that I didn't have to bring that up. He asked it by saying if I would be able to deal with the morning sickness and all with pregnancy and when I laughed about it, he said something about having five children, I was like, "What?!" He said he was just kidding and asked how many kids I want. I told him one or two and asked him how many he wants and he said two or three. If he had been serious about five, that definitely would have warranted a serious discussion about how serious he is about that, because I am certainly not going to bear five children, no thank you! And trust me, even knowing he wants two or three, there will still be much discussion (not right now though) about how he plans on raising those kids, etc. Because I will certainly not be a little housewife spending all of my time with the kids, it MUST be 50/50 and a total partnership. Anyways, that's all for now, I'm exhausted!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Wii Mission Accomplished
So, I was successful in getting a Wii yesterday and I have to say that the hour and a half I waited was totally worth it. The first 15 minutes I was playing with it, I couldn't stop laughing because it is so different than any other video game I've ever played. And time really does fly when you're playing it, I think I played for over 3 hours yesterday and I have to say, no wrist weights or anything was needed. I am so sore today. Both biceps are sore and my whole right arm is sore. That boxing game is such a workout. I actually looked up online how many calories you burn playing it and found that it's about 500 calories per hour playing the boxing game if you really get into it, like I was. That's amazing! Some guy lost about 10 pounds in 6 weeks playing his Wii for a half hour each day! Crazy!
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Cooking. . .
Well, not much to report on, a pretty uneventful weekend for me. Saw "Knocked Up" on Friday night with some friends, that movie is absolutely hilarious! Yesterday I went and saw "Spiderman 3" alone which wasn't bad but it wasn't great. I went alone because I really wanted to be gross and eat movie theater popcorn with a lot of butter as well as a cherry icee and plus, no one I know, besides The Swimmer was interested in seeing that movie. Last night, my neighbor, the one who has a problem with drinking and some drugs, we were supposed to go out to sushi, but she cancelled on me saying that she had a lot of stuff to do before her trip to Europe with her family and she also really wanted to go out at night, so she wanted to do that instead of going to dinner. She seriously has a problem with partying if she will cancel on a true friend who is doing her a huge favor by watering all of her plants while she's gone for 2 weeks. So, she'll be hearing from me about that. That just ticks me off, it doesn't surprise me, but it really ticks me off when someone can't see that they have a problem.
The Swimmer was really sweet last night. He called a few times while he was at an old friend's house watching the basketball game. When he got home, he called and told me how much he misses me and how much he wishes I lived in LA so we could always be together. I told him to remember that next time I bring up the whole moving things and he gets freaked out. He said once again that I didn't freak him out and that I had just caught him off guard. And I will admit that him bringing it up this time totally caught me off guard and I was speechless for a minute. I'm glad I brought all of that up because now I know he's thinking about all of it too and I know that I have nothing to feel insecure about.
Today I ran a bunch of errands so I could make roasted Chilean Sea Bass for dinner. We'll see how this turns out, I've never made it before, I've just had it in restaurants and it's been amazing. I'll be really pissed if it's bad because just the fish itself cost me $16. I can usually cook a few dinners with $16, so we'll see if it was worth it or not. It would definitely only be a once in a while thing if it's good. Well, the timer just went off, so we'll see!!
The Swimmer was really sweet last night. He called a few times while he was at an old friend's house watching the basketball game. When he got home, he called and told me how much he misses me and how much he wishes I lived in LA so we could always be together. I told him to remember that next time I bring up the whole moving things and he gets freaked out. He said once again that I didn't freak him out and that I had just caught him off guard. And I will admit that him bringing it up this time totally caught me off guard and I was speechless for a minute. I'm glad I brought all of that up because now I know he's thinking about all of it too and I know that I have nothing to feel insecure about.
Today I ran a bunch of errands so I could make roasted Chilean Sea Bass for dinner. We'll see how this turns out, I've never made it before, I've just had it in restaurants and it's been amazing. I'll be really pissed if it's bad because just the fish itself cost me $16. I can usually cook a few dinners with $16, so we'll see if it was worth it or not. It would definitely only be a once in a while thing if it's good. Well, the timer just went off, so we'll see!!
Monday, May 21, 2007
The Bachelor and the visit
Okay, so I'm totally excited for the season finale of The Bachelor tonight. I'm rooting for Tessa who I've been rooting for since the first episode. Now, I'm not a devout Bachelor watcher. I have watched only a few seasons, but started again last season and continued watching this season.
First, let's discuss The Bachelor himself, Andy. What to say about Andy. Well, he seems to be a very nice guy, very well-rounded, smart and dorky in a good way. But Andy, poor Andy, doesn't seem to have taken very good care of his skin. Though he is only about 30 or 31, his skin looks leathery and he has a lot of deep wrinkles in his forehead as well as crow's feet and marionette lines. Is it just me or do his teeth look funny too? I know, I know, don't be so superficial Not-So-Single Girl. These are just things I'm pointing out, I'm not saying no girl should like him because he has leathery skin and funny teeth. Like I said before, he seems to be a really good guy and not sleazy like some of the previous Bachelors have been.
On to the girls. I hope he picks Tessa although I think he'd be happy with Bevin too. I like both of the girls but feel he has a more "real" (if that's possible in a reality dating show) connection with Tessa. I think his connection with Bevin is more physical, but there is an emotional connection there too. I just feel like Tessa was more guarded than Bevin and didn't hurry to open up to Andy.
Okay, here I go sounding superficial again, but whatever: I hope he doesn't propose with the ring they show on the preview. It's just not my taste - a very plain, round cut diamond in a plain setting. It's nice, but just not my preference. I prefer princess or emerald or jubilee cut diamonds, either in a plain setting or with some baguettes on the band. My Mom already knows what I would like, so whoever the guy is that decides he wants to marry me should be smart enough to seek my Mom's help in picking a ring. Anyways, I'm excited to see what happens on tonight's 2 hour episode!
On to other things... Nothing too exciting to report, I had a very relaxing weekend on my fantastic new sheets. They are Hotel Collection sheets from Macy's, 500 thread count pima cotton and they are so fabulous. I really did not want to get out of bed all weekend because the sheets were so soft and comfortable.
The Swimmer comes to visit me this weekend! YAY! I'm so excited and can't wait until he's here with me. It will be nice to not be the one traveling this time. I just can't wait to be with him again and be together. I've been checking ticket prices to go visit him in LA in June and they haven't gone down at all since I started checking on them in March. Grrrr.... And there aren't any award tickets available so I can use my award miles to get a ticket, so annoying. Anyways, The Bachelor is about to start!
One more thing, they really need to not play that "love lift us up where we belong" song in the cheesy orchestral version. I know it's called The Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman, but seriously, it's too corny.
UPDATE:
Ugh, I have this bad feeling he's going to pick Bevin and not Tessa. I guess I'll have to wait and see. . .
UPDATE 2:
Okay, I really think he's going to pick Bevin. She told him she loves him and then they were hugging and he whispered to her that he loves her too.
UPDATE 3:
Okay, how can a guy tell a girl he loves her and then the next day, be making out and having strong feelings for another? How can someone be capable of that? Is it truly possible to be in love with two people at the same time? I just don't think so. I know it's a tv show and all, but still, that's a pretty crappy thing to do. I don't understand guys.
UPDATE 4:
He just told Tessa he loves her after she told him she loves him. I just don't know about him.
UPDATE 5:
Okay, I think he's not picking Bevin. He's picking Tessa. Didn't see that coming! I totally thought he was going to pick her, he was wearing the watch she gave him. I hope he takes the watch off before he proposes to Tessa. That's pretty tacky if he doesn't. Bevin has nothing to say. Damn girl, don't you know you're going to regret not saying anything to him? You have to say something. Can't wait to hear him propose to Tessa. Now Bevin is saying how wrong she was and how she took a chance and put herself on the line - well, yeah, you have to put yourself on the line, that's how love is. You have to take risks. Okay, I think he took the watch off. Man, I do feel bad for Bevin. Getting your heart broken sucks. It really does feel like your heart is breaking. It's just an awful, painful feeling that sucks and once you feel it, you never want to feel it again. But that's the tricky part - risking getting your heart broken after feeling it happen once before.
UPDATE 6:
The proposal was pretty good. But ABC just ruined it by playing the orchestral version of the "love lift us up where we belong" song and it's so corny. I'm curious to see if these two last since not many of the other couples have made it.
First, let's discuss The Bachelor himself, Andy. What to say about Andy. Well, he seems to be a very nice guy, very well-rounded, smart and dorky in a good way. But Andy, poor Andy, doesn't seem to have taken very good care of his skin. Though he is only about 30 or 31, his skin looks leathery and he has a lot of deep wrinkles in his forehead as well as crow's feet and marionette lines. Is it just me or do his teeth look funny too? I know, I know, don't be so superficial Not-So-Single Girl. These are just things I'm pointing out, I'm not saying no girl should like him because he has leathery skin and funny teeth. Like I said before, he seems to be a really good guy and not sleazy like some of the previous Bachelors have been.
On to the girls. I hope he picks Tessa although I think he'd be happy with Bevin too. I like both of the girls but feel he has a more "real" (if that's possible in a reality dating show) connection with Tessa. I think his connection with Bevin is more physical, but there is an emotional connection there too. I just feel like Tessa was more guarded than Bevin and didn't hurry to open up to Andy.
Okay, here I go sounding superficial again, but whatever: I hope he doesn't propose with the ring they show on the preview. It's just not my taste - a very plain, round cut diamond in a plain setting. It's nice, but just not my preference. I prefer princess or emerald or jubilee cut diamonds, either in a plain setting or with some baguettes on the band. My Mom already knows what I would like, so whoever the guy is that decides he wants to marry me should be smart enough to seek my Mom's help in picking a ring. Anyways, I'm excited to see what happens on tonight's 2 hour episode!
On to other things... Nothing too exciting to report, I had a very relaxing weekend on my fantastic new sheets. They are Hotel Collection sheets from Macy's, 500 thread count pima cotton and they are so fabulous. I really did not want to get out of bed all weekend because the sheets were so soft and comfortable.
The Swimmer comes to visit me this weekend! YAY! I'm so excited and can't wait until he's here with me. It will be nice to not be the one traveling this time. I just can't wait to be with him again and be together. I've been checking ticket prices to go visit him in LA in June and they haven't gone down at all since I started checking on them in March. Grrrr.... And there aren't any award tickets available so I can use my award miles to get a ticket, so annoying. Anyways, The Bachelor is about to start!
One more thing, they really need to not play that "love lift us up where we belong" song in the cheesy orchestral version. I know it's called The Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman, but seriously, it's too corny.
UPDATE:
Ugh, I have this bad feeling he's going to pick Bevin and not Tessa. I guess I'll have to wait and see. . .
UPDATE 2:
Okay, I really think he's going to pick Bevin. She told him she loves him and then they were hugging and he whispered to her that he loves her too.
UPDATE 3:
Okay, how can a guy tell a girl he loves her and then the next day, be making out and having strong feelings for another? How can someone be capable of that? Is it truly possible to be in love with two people at the same time? I just don't think so. I know it's a tv show and all, but still, that's a pretty crappy thing to do. I don't understand guys.
UPDATE 4:
He just told Tessa he loves her after she told him she loves him. I just don't know about him.
UPDATE 5:
Okay, I think he's not picking Bevin. He's picking Tessa. Didn't see that coming! I totally thought he was going to pick her, he was wearing the watch she gave him. I hope he takes the watch off before he proposes to Tessa. That's pretty tacky if he doesn't. Bevin has nothing to say. Damn girl, don't you know you're going to regret not saying anything to him? You have to say something. Can't wait to hear him propose to Tessa. Now Bevin is saying how wrong she was and how she took a chance and put herself on the line - well, yeah, you have to put yourself on the line, that's how love is. You have to take risks. Okay, I think he took the watch off. Man, I do feel bad for Bevin. Getting your heart broken sucks. It really does feel like your heart is breaking. It's just an awful, painful feeling that sucks and once you feel it, you never want to feel it again. But that's the tricky part - risking getting your heart broken after feeling it happen once before.
UPDATE 6:
The proposal was pretty good. But ABC just ruined it by playing the orchestral version of the "love lift us up where we belong" song and it's so corny. I'm curious to see if these two last since not many of the other couples have made it.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Delayed...
Yeah, I know in my last post I said I would write more the next day, but the week just passed by so quickly and now it's the weekend. Nothing really exciting to share today. The Swimmer got sick on Thursday, so he's been whining like a baby, but it's really cute. I wish I lived in LA so that I could have been there to take care of him. He's been so good at taking care of me - during the massive panic attack I had and then again when I got the UTI. I saw my "woman" doctor yesterday and she wants me to start taking a cranberry supplement now to see if that helps prevent UTIs. If that doesn't work, then I might have to start taking preventative antibiotics. Yuck. Oh well. So let's just hope that the cranberry supplement works!
I've been really tired all week for no apparent reason, so I'm just taking it easy this weekend, as usual! Next weekend, my brother will be coming to stay with me. One of his childhood friends lives in the same city as me and is getting married. So, that pretty much means I'll be shuttling him around, but that's fine. The weekend after, I will be back in LA, yay!!
I know I've said this before, but I really wish I could win the lottery. I wouldn't tell anyone except my Mom and I would immediately pick up and move to LA so that I could be with The Swimmer. I really hate not being able to be with him all the time, but I just need to remind myself that we'll be together again in 2 weeks and then again on Memorial Day weekend. I'll be going back to LA a couple of weekends after that for The Police concert and then a few weekends later again for The Swimmer's birthday. And I also need to remind myself that The Swimmer himself said that if our relationship continues on this track, by the end of the year, we'll either be talking about me moving out there, or I will be moving out there.
Anyways, enough of that, I'm so superstitious that I'm scared to talk about stuff too much for fear that I'll jinx everything. I know, I know, I'm ridiculous!
I've been really tired all week for no apparent reason, so I'm just taking it easy this weekend, as usual! Next weekend, my brother will be coming to stay with me. One of his childhood friends lives in the same city as me and is getting married. So, that pretty much means I'll be shuttling him around, but that's fine. The weekend after, I will be back in LA, yay!!
I know I've said this before, but I really wish I could win the lottery. I wouldn't tell anyone except my Mom and I would immediately pick up and move to LA so that I could be with The Swimmer. I really hate not being able to be with him all the time, but I just need to remind myself that we'll be together again in 2 weeks and then again on Memorial Day weekend. I'll be going back to LA a couple of weekends after that for The Police concert and then a few weekends later again for The Swimmer's birthday. And I also need to remind myself that The Swimmer himself said that if our relationship continues on this track, by the end of the year, we'll either be talking about me moving out there, or I will be moving out there.
Anyways, enough of that, I'm so superstitious that I'm scared to talk about stuff too much for fear that I'll jinx everything. I know, I know, I'm ridiculous!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Ridiculous!
Not much to update on now. I'm so exhausted from playing a tennis match in 45 degree with 20-40 mph winds and slight drizzling rain at times weather, that I can barely think straight. So ridiculous that the match didn't get cancelled, but I stuck it out and played. I didn't even care that we lost the match. Didn't do a whole lot this weekend. I was supposed to go out with a girl I play tennis with on Friday, but some things happened and it didn't work out. She's new in town, so she's trying to make friends. Funny though, her and her boyfriend were also in a long distance relationship at one point and they had known each other for a few years before becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. So, she and I already have a lot in common! Anyways, I'm too tired to write much tonight - more tomorrow!!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
No attacks, but...
Got back from LA at 6am yesterday morning, so I've been too tired to post until now. The trip to see The Swimmer was fantastic. No panic attacks!! YAY!! So relieved about that. I was more expressive of my feelings, like The Professional had told me to do, and both coming from and going to the airport went smoothly. Yes, I was very teary-eyed on the way to the airport on Monday night, but I couldn't help it. I really hate it when the time comes to leave LA. He would say the littlest thing and my eyes would well up with tears. It's really hard, but I know he's worth it.
I did, however, have one health issue while in LA. I got the nastiest UTI. For anyone who has ever had a UTI, you know how hellacious they are. It came on suddenly late Saturday afternoon. The pharmacy where I live had already closed, so I couldn't get a refill on my antibiotic transferred to LA and it was too late to call my doctor. Since the next day was Easter Sunday, my pharmacy at home was going to be closed and my doctor is pretty religious so I couldn't call her. Luckily, my father is a doctor, so I had him call in a prescription which I then had transferred out to LA. Pain in the ass though. The Swimmer was very sweet, even though I got up 4 times during dinner to sprint to the bathroom to pee and then drove me around trying to find a 24 hour pharmacy so I could ask a pharmacist what I could take to help until I got some antibiotics. Couldn't find a pharmacy soon enough before I had to pee again, so we just went back to his place and I proceeded to drink bottles and bottles of water to flush out my system. I've never tried Uristat to help with a UTI because it kind of scares me - it turns your pee and most bodily fluids orange. Then I saw Cystex which doesn't turn your pee orange, but no pharmacist. After drinking several bottles of water, I was finally able to stop peeing every 2 minutes without it burning. Anyways, good thing I'm going to see my woman's doctor next week so that we can discuss new ways to avoid UTIs, as I already do the typical recommended things - him washing his hands before sex, peeing before and after sex, washing after sex, etc. Enough about that!
Things between the Swimmer and I are great. However, this is the point in a relationship where my feelings scare me. It scares me to feel as strongly as I do towards The Swimmer because there is always a chance of getting hurt. I do know that I have two choices at this point - 1- let being scared take over and run from the relationship (stupid) or 2- accept that there is always a chance of getting hurt, but you'll never know unless you take the chance. So, that's what I'm doing, accepting that, yes, I could get hurt, but it's not worth it to let those feelings scare me away from what is so far, a fantastic man and a fantastic relationship. Luckily, I see The Professional next week, so I'll be able to further discuss and learn.
Well, I'm starving, so it looks like I'll be eating dinner a little early today...
I did, however, have one health issue while in LA. I got the nastiest UTI. For anyone who has ever had a UTI, you know how hellacious they are. It came on suddenly late Saturday afternoon. The pharmacy where I live had already closed, so I couldn't get a refill on my antibiotic transferred to LA and it was too late to call my doctor. Since the next day was Easter Sunday, my pharmacy at home was going to be closed and my doctor is pretty religious so I couldn't call her. Luckily, my father is a doctor, so I had him call in a prescription which I then had transferred out to LA. Pain in the ass though. The Swimmer was very sweet, even though I got up 4 times during dinner to sprint to the bathroom to pee and then drove me around trying to find a 24 hour pharmacy so I could ask a pharmacist what I could take to help until I got some antibiotics. Couldn't find a pharmacy soon enough before I had to pee again, so we just went back to his place and I proceeded to drink bottles and bottles of water to flush out my system. I've never tried Uristat to help with a UTI because it kind of scares me - it turns your pee and most bodily fluids orange. Then I saw Cystex which doesn't turn your pee orange, but no pharmacist. After drinking several bottles of water, I was finally able to stop peeing every 2 minutes without it burning. Anyways, good thing I'm going to see my woman's doctor next week so that we can discuss new ways to avoid UTIs, as I already do the typical recommended things - him washing his hands before sex, peeing before and after sex, washing after sex, etc. Enough about that!
Things between the Swimmer and I are great. However, this is the point in a relationship where my feelings scare me. It scares me to feel as strongly as I do towards The Swimmer because there is always a chance of getting hurt. I do know that I have two choices at this point - 1- let being scared take over and run from the relationship (stupid) or 2- accept that there is always a chance of getting hurt, but you'll never know unless you take the chance. So, that's what I'm doing, accepting that, yes, I could get hurt, but it's not worth it to let those feelings scare me away from what is so far, a fantastic man and a fantastic relationship. Luckily, I see The Professional next week, so I'll be able to further discuss and learn.
Well, I'm starving, so it looks like I'll be eating dinner a little early today...
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Practice Makes Perfect?
So, here's what I did this weekend: sleep in, go to the grocery and pet food store, cook, watch movies, sleep in some more and watch even more movies and tv. Wow, I was productive. Whatever, it doesn't bother me one bit! Especially since this week and weekend are going to be extremely busy. This week will be work, tennis and preparation for my trip this coming weekend to LA to visit The Swimmer.
I am already a little anxious about my trip to LA for the only reason that I hope that I don't have another massive panic attack. I know that worrying about having one won't help the situation, so that's why I'm glad that I see The Professional tomorrow. I've told The Swimmer that we should just lay low this weekend and not run around doing a lot of things all weekend in the hopes that it will keep me calm and not overwhelmed with doing stuff. We're already planning on seeing 3 movies this weekend - "Blades of Glory," "Meet the Robinsons," and "Premonition." I get to LA on Thursday evening and leave on the red eye on Monday night. The Swimmer has work on Friday and Monday, so I'm hoping that since I'll be alone all day, it will keep me from getting overwhelmed. I guess we'll see.
I ended up ordering the "Stress Eraser," the Professional said it could definitely help. It hasn't been shipped to me yet, something about there being so many orders that it's going to take longer than usual to ship out, but I think it should be sent sometime this week. Not in time for my trip to LA this weekend, but that's okay. I have been practicing some breathing techniques that the Professional said could really help. Basically, inhaling normally for 5 seconds, exhaling normally for 5 seconds, waiting 5 seconds and then starting all over again. This helps tell your body to calm down, that there is nothing wrong, as opposed to taking deep breaths which say, "Something is wrong!" and as opposed to breathing really quickly which can make panic worse. I've really been practicing, so hopefully it will help!
I am already a little anxious about my trip to LA for the only reason that I hope that I don't have another massive panic attack. I know that worrying about having one won't help the situation, so that's why I'm glad that I see The Professional tomorrow. I've told The Swimmer that we should just lay low this weekend and not run around doing a lot of things all weekend in the hopes that it will keep me calm and not overwhelmed with doing stuff. We're already planning on seeing 3 movies this weekend - "Blades of Glory," "Meet the Robinsons," and "Premonition." I get to LA on Thursday evening and leave on the red eye on Monday night. The Swimmer has work on Friday and Monday, so I'm hoping that since I'll be alone all day, it will keep me from getting overwhelmed. I guess we'll see.
I ended up ordering the "Stress Eraser," the Professional said it could definitely help. It hasn't been shipped to me yet, something about there being so many orders that it's going to take longer than usual to ship out, but I think it should be sent sometime this week. Not in time for my trip to LA this weekend, but that's okay. I have been practicing some breathing techniques that the Professional said could really help. Basically, inhaling normally for 5 seconds, exhaling normally for 5 seconds, waiting 5 seconds and then starting all over again. This helps tell your body to calm down, that there is nothing wrong, as opposed to taking deep breaths which say, "Something is wrong!" and as opposed to breathing really quickly which can make panic worse. I've really been practicing, so hopefully it will help!
Saturday, March 24, 2007
So glad it's the weekend!
I am really missing The Swimmer today. Don't know why, but I've been thinking about him all day today and really miss him and can't wait to be with him again. I think it's because it's "that time of the month," so I'm a little extra emotional. I just really wish he were here with me to cuddle up with and grope on. I really wish we lived in the same city and I know he wishes the same. I'm glad we get to see each other again in less than two weeks now, so that's exciting. Then just a couple weeks after I see him, I fly back out to see him again. I had more than enough frequent flier miles to get a free ticket and since those award seats are hard to come by, as soon as I found one, I got it and needless to say, The Swimmer was thrilled. What's even better about that flight, is that not only is it a free ticket, but on the red eye home, I will be sitting in first class, yay!
I did a whole lot of nothing today, which felt very nice. I woke up a bit late, but I guess I needed it, ate breakfast, watched tv, took a shower, sat on the couch and watched "The Skeleton Key" and more television. I did make it out though, one of my neighbors and I walked a few blocks to a new sushi restaurant to try it out. It was actually pretty good though not as good as my favorite sushi restaurant.
It did suck not eating sushi with The Swimmer. Since he's a guy, he can eat more than me which means between the two of us, we order 3 rolls, with me eating a total of one of those rolls, but I get to have a few pieces of each, I like variety. Since my neighbor isn't very adventurous when it comes to sushi though, I had to pick just one roll for me to eat, so no variety for me. The Swimmer is also my guinea pig when we eat sushi - we usually order a rainbow roll and if I can't tell what kind of fish is on a piece, he tries it first and knows if I'll like it or not. It's okay though, the sushi was still good and I had really been craving sushi today, so it satisfied my craving. I then came home, showered and tried something I got at Whole Foods the other day for dessert. I tried a "Purely Decadent" Soy ice cream bar. Soy vanilla ice cream dipped in dark chocolate. It was deee-licious. When I visited The Swimmer, he was on a Haagen Dazs ic cream bar kick. Since one of those things has over 20 grams of fat, I do not allow myself to eat them, so instead, I would just take a bite or two off of the one The Swimmer was eating just to satisfy my large sweet tooth. When I saw those ice cream bars at Whole Foods, I had to try them and I'm glad I did because instead of over 20 grams of fat, there's only 8 in one of them, much more acceptable to me!
I've been debating buying a Stress Eraser. It's basically a mini biofeedback machine that helps you relax and calm down. You're supposed to use it every night for 15 minutes before you go to sleep and you can also use it during a panic attack to help ease it and make it go away. The problem is, that is is $299. But, the good thing is that if I buy it directly from the company that makes it, I can pay over 5 months, no interest. Hmmm... I might have to consider that. It really could come in handy and I seem to remember The Professional mentioning it to me. I might call her on Monday to ask if it is what she mentioned a few months ago and if it will help me. Anyways, that's all for now, must get back to relaxing!
I did a whole lot of nothing today, which felt very nice. I woke up a bit late, but I guess I needed it, ate breakfast, watched tv, took a shower, sat on the couch and watched "The Skeleton Key" and more television. I did make it out though, one of my neighbors and I walked a few blocks to a new sushi restaurant to try it out. It was actually pretty good though not as good as my favorite sushi restaurant.
It did suck not eating sushi with The Swimmer. Since he's a guy, he can eat more than me which means between the two of us, we order 3 rolls, with me eating a total of one of those rolls, but I get to have a few pieces of each, I like variety. Since my neighbor isn't very adventurous when it comes to sushi though, I had to pick just one roll for me to eat, so no variety for me. The Swimmer is also my guinea pig when we eat sushi - we usually order a rainbow roll and if I can't tell what kind of fish is on a piece, he tries it first and knows if I'll like it or not. It's okay though, the sushi was still good and I had really been craving sushi today, so it satisfied my craving. I then came home, showered and tried something I got at Whole Foods the other day for dessert. I tried a "Purely Decadent" Soy ice cream bar. Soy vanilla ice cream dipped in dark chocolate. It was deee-licious. When I visited The Swimmer, he was on a Haagen Dazs ic cream bar kick. Since one of those things has over 20 grams of fat, I do not allow myself to eat them, so instead, I would just take a bite or two off of the one The Swimmer was eating just to satisfy my large sweet tooth. When I saw those ice cream bars at Whole Foods, I had to try them and I'm glad I did because instead of over 20 grams of fat, there's only 8 in one of them, much more acceptable to me!
I've been debating buying a Stress Eraser. It's basically a mini biofeedback machine that helps you relax and calm down. You're supposed to use it every night for 15 minutes before you go to sleep and you can also use it during a panic attack to help ease it and make it go away. The problem is, that is is $299. But, the good thing is that if I buy it directly from the company that makes it, I can pay over 5 months, no interest. Hmmm... I might have to consider that. It really could come in handy and I seem to remember The Professional mentioning it to me. I might call her on Monday to ask if it is what she mentioned a few months ago and if it will help me. Anyways, that's all for now, must get back to relaxing!
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Whew...
I can't believe this weekend is over already, it went by too quickly. Did a whole lot of nothing yesterday, I was exhausted after eating burgers and drinking beer with Crazy Girl, but we decided we need to do that at least once a month. We went to a burger place we had never been to before and it was fantastic, so we're glad we tried it. Last night I just planted my butt on my couch and watched tv. Talked to The Swimmer for a little bit, he was beyond tired, so it was a short conversation. Woke up today and lazed around again until about 1pm when I decided to have a little snack and then get ready for a doubles tennis match I was supposed to play. Waited around for the match to begin. It was supposed to start at around 2:30pm, but it didn't start until about 4pm. It was a great match though and we won 6-1, 7-5, so that was fantastic! Went to go to the grocery store near where I play tennis and luckily, I was paying attention so I was able to avoid an uncomfortable situation. I saw The Idiot's car in the parking lot. I am so happy that I saw his car because I was not in the mood to deal with that awkwardness. So, I detoured and just went to the grocery store that's closer to where I live to do my shopping. I made a delicious dinner and have done a lot of laundry, so now I'm just waiting for the new episode of "Girls Next Door" to begin. I really love this show, it's hilarious. Should I admit to that? Oh well, I'm not ashamed!
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