Doctors, cooking and The Swimmer

Not too much new, just been really busy this past week with work and doctor's appointments. I'm having a new type of migraine so I was trying to get in to see my neurologist. After that failed and the office staff really pissed me off, I was able to get in to see a new neurologist. He was okay, but I'm going to try to see my old old neurologist this week to see what he has to say. One thing that ticked me off about the new neurologist was that he suggested I start a certain medication, but then seemed to rush me when I wanted to ask questions about it. He also doses this medication different than any other doctor does which alarms me. One thing I didn't like that he had to say was that I should get off my birth control pill and switch to a progesterone only pill, no thank you! The reasoning for that is that women who get migraines with aura, which I now have, are at higher risk for stroke. But, I don't smoke and I have low blood pressure and exercise regularly and I'm young, almost 26, so can't I take a low-dose aspirin daily to off-set the risk? This is why I want to get a second opinion. So, hopefully I'll be able to get in to see my old neuro to advise me. I will say though, that these auras are pretty scary - I pretty much go blind in one eye for almost 30 minutes, I get numbness in my hand, arm and face and have trouble speaking - like I can't find words. When I had the first one, right before my last trip to LA, I thought I was having a stroke, it wasn't fun. One bonus to the new medication I would be starting (recommended not only by this new neuro, but by a neurologist friend of my father's) is that a lot of people lose weight on it. I don't really need to lose weight, I'm a size 4, but it would be nice to lose 5 pounds off my belly, then I wouldn't feel so self-conscious when The Swimmer grabs me there.

Besides the medical drama that is my life, I made a very big purchase on Thursday that I feel slighty guilty about, but not guilty enough to return it. I bought a very expensive designer bag that I have been drooling over. I did get a $150 gift card with this purchase, so that was nice, it will be part of my Mom's birthday present.

I was also going to cook Linguine with White Clam Sauce this past Monday, but I had to abort that. I went through all of the trouble of finding the ingredients and getting the clams. Then, when it was time to clean the (live) clams before cooking them, I picked one up, and part of the clam inside was trying to escape. I was too grossed out to continue, so I brought the whole bag of clams down to my neighbor's and then ate a piece of toast for dinner. I was too grossed out to eat anything else.

I fared better with the cooking last night, I made Pan Roasted Chilean Sea Bass with a soy ginger dipping sauce and stir-fried vegetables. Yum! That is also what I will be eating tonight for dinner. I love leftovers!! I also baked my favorite: Ghirardelli Double Chocolate Brownies. And, so I wouldn't feel so guilty about eating brownies, I replace the oil in the recipe with unsweetened applesauce. It really cuts the fat and you can't taste the difference at all.

As for The Swimmer, I am going to visit him once more before he comes to visit me for my birthday on Labor Day weekend. I will be going the weekend of Aug. 17, so yay! And as far as the whole sex without a condom thing, I think I'm open to that as long as he doesn't cum inside me. I will still want to have a good discussion about it with him before we do it, but I'm definitely open to it now.

Well, must put my clean sheets on the bed - YAY! - and then relax some more. Hope everyone had a nice weekend!

Step by step.... Oooohhh baby

I had to make a reference to New Kids on the Block there, couldn't resist it... I know, I'm such a dork, but I don't care!

I have to say I am a damn good cook! The Chilean Sea Bass I made on Sunday was phenomenal and I had enough for three days of leftovers! I really can kick some ass in the kitchen.

Steadman surprised me and worked with me on Tuesday, but the day went by surprisingly fast and he gave me a fantastic review.

I saw The Professional on Wednesday morning and she confirmed what Drama Queen and some others had told me about The Swimmer - that it absolutely was not a bad thing what happened when The Swimmer and I talked the Sunday he was here. That he is not freaked out in a bad way, only that he likes to think everything through very carefully, that it's okay to be scared about taking such a ginormous risk and that his being worried about me getting sick of him is totally about his own insecurities in himself and definitely not about being unsure of our relationship or anything. I really like going to The Professional, she really helps put everything into perspective and helps calm me down when I freak out about things or start overanalyzing. She's fantastic. I always feel fabulous when I leave The Professional's office - there's something about having a whole hour to talk about yourself without having to reciprocate and analyze anything and everything to pieces with someone who knows about people and the way they think. I don't know why therapists get such a bad rap a lot of the time. I'm sure there are some not-so-great ones out there, but I don't think that's too common, but I don't know. Maybe I just stumbled upon a really great one!

The Swimmer told me yesterday that at dinner at his mom's house the night before, his grandma was asking about me and told him to tell me she said hi. I thought that was absolutely adorable. I really like old ladies. I know that sounds random, but they are just fantastic - so wise with such a great perspective on life and relationships. So now he wants me to meet his grandma! Which, of course, I would be more than happy to. Big step!

Cooking. . .

Well, not much to report on, a pretty uneventful weekend for me. Saw "Knocked Up" on Friday night with some friends, that movie is absolutely hilarious! Yesterday I went and saw "Spiderman 3" alone which wasn't bad but it wasn't great. I went alone because I really wanted to be gross and eat movie theater popcorn with a lot of butter as well as a cherry icee and plus, no one I know, besides The Swimmer was interested in seeing that movie. Last night, my neighbor, the one who has a problem with drinking and some drugs, we were supposed to go out to sushi, but she cancelled on me saying that she had a lot of stuff to do before her trip to Europe with her family and she also really wanted to go out at night, so she wanted to do that instead of going to dinner. She seriously has a problem with partying if she will cancel on a true friend who is doing her a huge favor by watering all of her plants while she's gone for 2 weeks. So, she'll be hearing from me about that. That just ticks me off, it doesn't surprise me, but it really ticks me off when someone can't see that they have a problem.

The Swimmer was really sweet last night. He called a few times while he was at an old friend's house watching the basketball game. When he got home, he called and told me how much he misses me and how much he wishes I lived in LA so we could always be together. I told him to remember that next time I bring up the whole moving things and he gets freaked out. He said once again that I didn't freak him out and that I had just caught him off guard. And I will admit that him bringing it up this time totally caught me off guard and I was speechless for a minute. I'm glad I brought all of that up because now I know he's thinking about all of it too and I know that I have nothing to feel insecure about.

Today I ran a bunch of errands so I could make roasted Chilean Sea Bass for dinner. We'll see how this turns out, I've never made it before, I've just had it in restaurants and it's been amazing. I'll be really pissed if it's bad because just the fish itself cost me $16. I can usually cook a few dinners with $16, so we'll see if it was worth it or not. It would definitely only be a once in a while thing if it's good. Well, the timer just went off, so we'll see!!