Planning

I know. I know I have been an awful blogger. All I can say is that I've been busy and after not writing for so long, the thought of trying to update everyone on everything feels so overwhelming!

So, I'm not going to do that, I'm just going to say that everything is still going very well in my life. TDH is still pretty fantastic. He's going through a little rough patch in his life right now and hopefully I'm being good at supporting him through it. He's going through that time in his life that I think we all go through at one point, where you feel like you are two people stuck in one body. Part of him wants to be the "rockstar" that he's always wanted to be and be out traveling the world, playing his music, meeting people from all walks of life. The other part of him wants to settle down, and in his words, "continue building a burgeoning relationship with a woman such as yourself," and start a family. I told him that how he's feeling is totally normal and that when it comes down to it, he just needs to find a way to meld the two together. He said he's scared he'll never be able to be completely happy. I reassured him again that it's totally normal to feel that way and that maybe a change of perspective is in order. Instead of focusing on all of the bad things in the world, he needs to focus on all of the good things and all of the good things he's been lucky enough to experience, all of the amazing places he's traveled and all of the experiences he's been able to share with his family. I used to be like TDH a lot, when it comes to his ambivalence about the world. I think that all changed when I had the brain tumor scare 2 years ago and realized that life is too short and I might as well focus on the good and make sure that I'm surrounded by things that make me happy. After we talked about all of this for a while, he said he had been scared to open up to me about all of this because I had told him about past relationships where the guy was totally insecure, so he didn't want to turn me away from him. I laughed and told him there was absolutely no need to worry and that if I thought he was anything like that guy, I would have been long gone! Also, I told him that I'm always here for him if he ever wants to talk.

TDH wants to plan a long weekend getaway to the beach with me, so that should be a lot of fun. We're working on that now and should hopefully have that planned within the next couple of days. I could definitely use a little vacation and a long weekend with just TDH would be awesome!!

This weekend was good - TDH and I went out for drinks on Friday night, Saturday evening, TDH took me to a work associate's house for a barbecue. Today, I hung out with Crazy Girl. She's going through a rough time herself - she's scared she's going to lose her job, so that's adding to her already usually high anxiety level. What sucks is that she doesn't deserve to lose her job, she hasn't done anything wrong, her boss (a woman) thinks she's "just too tall and too blonde" so she doesn't like her. It's totally ridiculous. So Crazy Girl is reporting this to HR along with a bunch of other totally inappropriate comments her boss has made in front of other people, including a comment that insinuates that Crazy Girl and I are in a lesbian relationship together. So Crazy Girl and I went out shopping for a new business suit for her and then out for burgers. Yum!

I'm still loving taking ballet again, it's so much fun and I get a great workout from it. Better than going to the gym!! Haven't been back to tap class yet, but I probably will this week, I didn't want to hurt the toe now that it's all healed up.

Anyways, that's all for me now! I'll try to be better about updating!

Sigh...

TDH is still totally making me swoon and we've been dating since March. He called me today from Asia. I'll say it again. He called me from Asia. Where he's been on a trip with his family for a week and a half. He called me! It wasn't enough to just e-mail me once or twice a day, he called me! Yay! I can't wait until he gets back on Sunday! We talked for about 20 minutes about his trip and what I've been up to. Sigh. I really like him! I don't think I'll be able to restrain myself from jumping on him and hugging him for a long, long time when I first see him again!

Besides TDH, not too much going on. Had Steadman with me yesterday and Monday, glad that's over with, it's just exhausting. Think I need to call my neurologist tomorrow, I don't know if it's the heat, but I've gotten 3 or 4 migraines in the past week, up from 1 every other month. I think I need to up my preventative medication. Oh well.

The toe is healing well, I should be able to dance next week. I'm walking normally now, no more limping so that's definitely a good sign! I'm going to take a stretching class tomorrow evening so I can feel like less of a lazy ass, sitting around watching cooking shows and crappy tv.

Anyways, can't wait for Sunday and TDH's return!

Sweating

Well, I'm finally done feeling sorry for myself and my toe! I've been over it for a few days now, but I've just been busy being out and about. Had a follow up appointment today with my podiatrist and he said things are healing well and if they continue to heal well, I should be able to go back to dancing in a week or so. Yay!

Otherwise, I'm just tired. had Steadman, my boss, working with me today, so that's always tiring, not to mention the fact that it's in the 90s here. He's with me again tomorrow, but at least it's only one more day to get through.

Blondie and I went out to dinner together on Saturday night and then went to see Partyboy and his band play a little gig. Blondie thinks he's cute, so I'm trying to set the two of them up for a brief hook-up before he goes away to med school. Sunday, I hung out with Bra Girl by the pool until we couldn't stand the hot weather anymore.

Still e-mailing everyday with TDH. He sends me pictures too, it's really cute. I miss him so much, I just can't wait until he gets back on Sunday. Not sure if I'll get to see him on Sunday or not, but at least I'll get to hear his voice and talk again. Sigh. I just can't wait to be with him again! I'm such a dork.

Oh, I finished reading one of Chelsea Handler's books today, "My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands." It was absolutely hilarious! I highly recommend it if you're looking for a light, entertaining and quick read.

A Rant

Okay, I'm not one to really complain much, but I need to just take a few minutes to get some complaining out because I'm feeling sorry for myself...

Had my toe surgery on Tuesday which went well. Took a sick day from work yesterday so that I could be off my foot since I'm usually on my feet all day when working. I was beyond bored. I don't mind being home all day when it's by choice, but when I'm forced to be home all day, it's unbearable, know what I mean? Last night I had to do the first bandage change on my toe. That was gross. Usually for something like that in the past, I've had my Mom there to look first and tell me if it looks bad or not and just take care of it for me. This time though, I was all alone and I hated that. No one there to look at the wound first to reassure me or just hold my hand. Even though it wasn't totally horrible, just a bit gross, I still hated doing it and it made me want to cry for some reason.

My toe still hurts when I try to put weight on it when I walk on it and I definitely can't wear shoes with a heel, only flip-flops. If you knew me in real life, you'd know that I live in 4 inch heels, so only being able to wear flip-flops is torture. I get frustrated when I try to walk normally and it hurts, it just makes me want to cry. It's not the pain that makes me want to cry, but the frustration of being injured. I also really hate that I can't take dance classes for a week or two, it makes me feel really lazy. I love dancing, so this not being able to dance right now business really sucks.

Anyways, I hate ranting like this, but I just felt like I needed to get it out instead of just sitting here on my couch, feeling sorry for myself and wishing I were getting ready to go take some dance classes. And I know things could be WAY worse, I just hate feeling like I can't do things, it REALLY frustrates me. Grr...

New Names and Steamy Nights

I'll start off by announcing The New Guy's new blog name since he's not new anymore (prompted by midnite99!)... Because he is 6'4" tall with dark hair and he's good-looking, I shall call him Tall, Dark and Handsome, or TDH for short.

Saturday night was so much fun - I went out with Bra Girl and some of her friends to a fun bar for some drinks and dancing. One of the people that came out with us was a good-looking guy who took a liking to me. After flirting with me all night, he finally asked if I was single. Uh, how to answer that? TDH and I haven't had any "exclusivity" talk, but I'm also not looking to date anyone else right now. And when it comes to figuring out when you consider the person you're dating your boyfriend/girlfriend, I'm clueless. I've had to outright ask in the past. But in this case, I wouldn't consider TDH my boyfriend yet. I don't lie to people because I'm bad at it, so I didn't know how to handle this situation. I just told him that I didn't know if I am single, that I'm currently dating someone and not looking to date other people right now. He did the guy thing and asked where the guy that I'm dating is and if he treats me right. Ugh, I can't stand that! Can't a girl go out with her girlfriends? And why would I be with a guy if I thought he didn't treat me right? But anyways, he was crushed, and I'm not saying that in a conceited way, he really was. He actually pulled Bra Girl aside a little later and told her that he really likes me and asked if there was anyway to get to me. She assured him that there wasn't, that I really liked this other guy. At the end of the night, he told me that if I become available to let him know somehow because he'd like to take me out to dinner.

Sunday morning I woke up and was just laying in bed thinking about when I would call TDH. Just when I figured out when I would call him, my phone rang and it was TDH! Yay! I answered and he told me he had just gotten up and asked what I was up to. I told him I had just woken up and was still in bed. He told me to stay in bed and that he would come over in a bit. He wanted to know if I was up for hanging out that day and possibly making out for a while. Some of you may not find this funny, but I find it hilarious! I told him I was definitely up for it and asked when. So we made plans for later on in the night, after he had dinner with his Mom.

He called after dinner when he was on his way to my place and we talked for the 20 minute drive. When TDH got to my place, we drank tea on my balcony and chatted and then watched 90210 in my bed. He thought I was hilarious because I was being a bit spastic about my clean sheets. (Sorry, but there's nothing like fresh, clean sheets and a tightly made bed!!) After an episode of 90210, he finally made his move. We then proceeded to have a very HOT time for over 2 hours. No sex though, just making out without some clothes on and a lot of talk about sex - likes and dislikes. At one point, I said to him, "I know I might sound like a broken record, but I don't care anymore. But, I just hope you're into me in more than just a physical way, because it's more than that for me." He reassured me that he is and that it's more than just physical for him too, so I don't need to worry.

I know that when we finally do have sex, it's going to be ridiculously hot and mind-blowing. Thinking about it just makes the adrenaline shoot through me. He left after midnight even though he really didn't want to.

After work and keeping Bra Girl company yesterday (she was having boy troubles), I went to Target (love that place!) to grab a couple of things. After returning my shopping cart, I noticed I had a missed call from TDH. I almost didn't believe it because we usually don't speak everyday. I had to double check the date of the missed call to make sure my phone wasn't playing tricks on me. I'm such a dork. Anyways, I called him back and he told me that he thinks he's coming down with something, that his throat is really sore. I told him it could just be allergies since everything in this city looks green from the pollen. He didn't think so. We ended up having an hour long conversation about something else, which I'll post another time because I thought it was very interesting and I'm curious to hear what everyone else thinks about the issue.

Today I went to my third ballet class, which I'm loving! Can't wait to start tap which is my absolute favorite! After class, I had a missed call, from TDH! I was shocked, but I believed it more this time. We've moved up to everyday calls I guess. I called him back and he told me that he really is sick and he feels awful. He's coughing, congested and running a fever. Ugh, I better not get what he's getting. He told me I won't get it because I'm around sick people all the time with work, so my immune system is extra strong and his immune system was depressed from all of the work he was doing last week and basically running himself into the ground. We talked for a bit and I told him to let me know if he needs anything.

So that's all for now. I'm just ready for more dance classes tomorrow, dinner with some old friends on Thursday night and hopefully TDH gets better soon!